You will never find her.

Danger abounds: A dragon’s maw. A turncoat cowboy. A tornado of gold. Old men unwilling to admit the world is changing. Will the party all make it out with their personal legends in tact?

No.

!! Content Warnings !!

• 00:03:00 Casual killing
• 00:14:30 Gore/violence
• 00:55:20 Government intimidation

== CREDITS ==

Cast:

• Patrick Perini, GM
• Caustic Phoenix as Cal Ironwater
• Cinderblocksally as Weevil Woebringer
• Craig Pate as Odion Osprey-Heronshaw
• Emily Greymoore as Arianna Floridia “Flo” Osprey II
• Cleo Birch as Ferrin Whel IV
• Aram Vartian as The Dream Devil

Crew:

• Sabrina Ortiz, Producer
• Nick Plaisance, Lorekeeper
• Renee Juneau, Chronicler
• Mason Allan, Game Design Consultant
• Sayer Roberts, Composer
• Callahan Bevilacqua, Dialogue Editor
• Colin Epstein, Writer

System:

• Tales of the Valiant by Kobold Press

Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

What have you gotten us into? This is your fault.

A dragon. A devil. A deal. The party finds themselves in the soggy, stolen mansion of the dragon Ripthorne. And in the middle of a millennium old standoff. Will they be able to arbitrate?

Probably not.

!! Content Warnings !!

• 00:00:38 Alcoholism
• 00:25:45 Evidence of violent death
• 00:59:05 Propaganda, implication of state violence
• 01:21:17 Gore/violence

== CREDITS ==

Cast:

• Patrick Perini, GM
• Caustic Phoenix as Cal Ironwater
• Cinderblocksally as Weevil Woebringer
• Craig Pate as Odion Osprey-Heronshaw
• Emily Greymoore as Arianna Floridia “Flo” Osprey II
• Cleo Birch as Ferrin Whel IV

Crew:

• Sabrina Ortiz, Producer
• Nick Plaisance, Lorekeeper
• Renee Juneau, Chronicler
• Mason Allan, Game Design Consultant
• Sayer Roberts, Composer
• Callahan Bevilacqua, Dialogue Editor
• Colin Epstein, Writer

System:

• Tales of the Valiant by Kobold Press

Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

I think we can talk now. You got like… half a minute until I lose concentration?

Jailbreak! Our heroes have been taken captive by the Kobold Defense League and need to escape — with The John Johnson and his Merry Men in tow. Will they make it out unseen?

Probably not.

!! Content Warnings !!

• 00:35:15 Extractive/predatory business practices
• 00:42:25 Mention of suicide
• 00:56:15Exploitative business practices
• 01:43:40 Explosions

== CREDITS ==

Cast:

• Patrick Perini, GM
• Caustic Phoenix as Cal Ironwater
• Cinderblocksally as Weevil Woebringer
• Craig Pate as Odion Osprey-Heronshaw
• Emily Greymoore as Arianna Floridia “Flo” Osprey II
• Cleo Birch as Ferrin Whel IV

Crew:

• Sabrina Ortiz, Producer
• Nick Plaisance, Lorekeeper
• Renee Juneau, Chronicler
• Mason Allan, Game Design Consultant
• Sayer Roberts, Composer
• Callahan Bevilacqua, Dialogue Editor
• Colin Epstein, Writer

System:

• Tales of the Valiant by Kobold Press

Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

Just a little girl with grand designs…

Kobolds and mine carts and trolls! Our heroes find themselves in over their upside-down heads as they plummet deeper into the lair. Separated and forlorn, will they find their way safely back together?

Probably not.

!! Content Warnings !!

• 00:00:05 Parental neglect
• 00:04:55 Child labor, lost child
• 00:07:35 Parental neglect
• 00:15:08 Grave injury, panic
• 00:24:45 Murder of a captive
• 00:52:40 Lost/alone underground
• 00:54:05 Self-loathing

== CREDITS ==

Cast:

• Patrick Perini, GM
• Caustic Phoenix as Cal Ironwater
• Cinderblocksally as Weevil Woebringer
• Craig Pate as Odion Osprey-Heronshaw
• Emily Greymoore as Arianna Floridia “Flo” Osprey II
• Cleo Birch as Ferrin Whel IV

Crew:

• Sabrina Ortiz, Producer
• Nick Plaisance, Lorekeeper
• Renee Juneau, Chronicler
• Mason Allan, Game Design Consultant
• Sayer Roberts, Composer
• Callahan Bevilacqua, Dialogue Editor
• Colin Epstein, Writer

System:

• Tales of the Valiant by Kobold Press

Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

You do that again and I will send you off into the abyss with that harpoon.

Back into the lair, the party is waylaid by bulettes, perytons, and something even more sinister: incompetence. Will they win their race against The John Johnson?

Probably not.

!! Content Warnings !!

• 00:57:10 Parental neglect
• 01:02:50 Abduction
• 01:16:00 Depictions of gore

== CREDITS ==

Cast:

• Patrick Perini, GM
• Caustic Phoenix as Cal Ironwater
• Cinderblocksally as Weevil Woebringer
• Craig Pate as Odion Osprey-Heronshaw
• Emily Greymoore as Arianna Floridia “Flo” Osprey II
• Cleo Birch as Ferrin Whel IV

Crew:

• Sabrina Ortiz, Producer
• Nick Plaisance, Lorekeeper
• Renee Juneau, Chronicler
• Mason Allan, Game Design Consultant
• Sayer Roberts, Composer
• Callahan Bevilacqua, Dialogue Editor
• Colin Epstein, Writer

System:

• Tales of the Valiant by Kobold Press

Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

I didn’t expect to many convoluted connections. I just thought we were gonna go adventuring.

After a cataclysmic flood, our heroes have to reckon with what’s really important to them. Honor. Gold. Drugs. Will this adventure give them what they want?

Probably not.

!! Content Warnings !!

• 00:33:55 Physical intimidation
• 00:40:55 Gaslighting. Physical abuse. Sexism
• 01:30:35 Deceptive/coercive contracts

== CREDITS ==

Cast:

• Patrick Perini, GM
• Caustic Phoenix as Cal Ironwater
• Cinderblocksally as Weevil Woebringer
• Craig Pate as Odion Osprey-Heronshaw
• Emily Greymoore as Arianna Floridia “Flo” Osprey II
• Cleo Birch as Ferrin Whel IV

Crew:

• Sabrina Ortiz, Producer
• Nick Plaisance, Lorekeeper
• Renee Juneau, Chronicler
• Mason Allan, Game Design Consultant
• Sayer Roberts, Composer
• Callahan Bevilacqua, Dialogue Editor
• Colin Epstein, Writer

System:

• Tales of the Valiant by Kobold Press

Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

All I wanted was for someone to care. The only people who ever did were paid to.

Magic items. Level ups. New legend. Our heroes return triumphant from the lair and immediately prepare for the next leg of our adventure. Will they stay sober for the duration?

Probably not.

!! Content Warnings !!

• 00:16:50 Peer pressure (drugs)
• 00:54:45 Memory loss (drugs)
• 00:58:45 Parental neglect mentioned
• 01:31:15 Depictions of self-harm
• 01:35:25 Loss of self-governance
• 01:42:00 Natural disaster aftermath

== CREDITS ==

Cast:

• Patrick Perini, GM
• Caustic Phoenix as Cal Ironwater
• Cinderblocksally as Weevil Woebringer
• Craig Pate as Odion Osprey-Heronshaw
• Emily Greymoore as Arianna Floridia “Flo” Osprey II
• Cleo Birch as Ferrin Whel IV
• Aram Vartian as The Dream Devil

Crew:

• Sabrina Ortiz, Producer
• Nick Plaisance, Lorekeeper
• Renee Juneau, Chronicler
• Mason Allan, Game Design Consultant
• Sayer Roberts, Composer
• Callahan Bevilacqua, Dialogue Editor
• Colin Epstein, Writer

System:

• Tales of the Valiant by Kobold Press

Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

And she hates Rip Durkin.

The elemental they seek is a fates-damned Xorn, gape-mouthed and hungry for gold. Will Cal give hers up to save the party?

Probably not.

!! Content Warnings !!

• 00:48:40 Exploitative medical practices

== CREDITS ==

Cast:

• Patrick Perini, GM
• Caustic Phoenix as Cal Ironwater
• Cinderblocksally as Weevil Woebringer
• Craig Pate as Odion Osprey-Heronshaw
• Emily Greymoore as Arianna Floridia “Flo” Osprey II
• Cleo Birch as Ferrin Whel IV

Crew:

• Sabrina Ortiz, Producer
• Nick Plaisance, Lorekeeper
• Renee Juneau, Chronicler
• Mason Allan, Game Design Consultant
• Sayer Roberts, Composer
• Callahan Bevilacqua, Dialogue Editor
• Colin Epstein, Writer

System:

• Tales of the Valiant by Kobold Press

Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st