A listener sent us a video that hit a nerve: a husband asks his overwhelmed wife how he can help, then resists the very thing she asks for. In this episode, we unpack what’s really going on in moments like these. We talk about the emotional weight of asking for help, the nuances of saying no, and what it costs when a partner responds with resistance(even subtly). Emotional labor, the mental load, relationship dynamics, viral couples videos... it's all here!

Mentioned in this episode:

Rage Becomes Her

Wages For Housework

No More Mediocre

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This week, we look at a viral influencer’s take on why men don’t step up at home. He's just one of many creators who exist in the genre of “relationship advice” whose content insidiously blames women for their partner’s lack of initiative. Apparently, the problem with a lack of effort isn't... the lack of effort... It's that you must be smothering his divine masculine spark.

Mentioned in this episode:

Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly

BoyMom by Ruth Whippman

Erased by Anna Malaika Tubbs

The Future Is Disabled by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna Samarasinha

Care Work by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna Samarasinha

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Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call to Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More

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This week Crystal and Laura discuss the challenges of care work, societal expectations of default partners, and the internet's attempts at poking fun at these dynamics. Spoiler alert: we don't think it's funny. We analyze a viral video that pokes fun at a woman managing her family's needs while being late, highlighting the unfairness of couples comedy posts. Instead of trying to punch down, shouldn't we be trying to emphasize the importance of recognizing the value of care work, questioning societal norms, and teaching children about responsibility and empathy?

Mentioned in This Episode:

Our Home by Lori Sugarman-Li, a childrens book on domestic equity!

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