This Spiritual Fix Podcast Por Kristina Wiltsee & Anna Stromquist arte de portada

This Spiritual Fix

This Spiritual Fix

De: Kristina Wiltsee & Anna Stromquist
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What meditation works for you? What is it like to do tantra? How do you best communicate with a loved one? Kristina Wiltsee & Anna Stromquist are two best friends on a quest to try all things spiritual in order to attain enlightenment -- or just stay sane while juggling a lot on their plates. Their internationally recognized podcast hits close to home for many people who are struggling for peace amidst the pain of trauma, emotional wounds, and neurodivergent brains. As we uncover deeper layers of ourselves, they teach, with humor, that there is nothing to fix - just more of us to love.

Season Themes:

Season 1: The Primal Wounds (Abandonment, Rejection, Betrayal, Injustice, & Humiliation)

Season 2: The Drama Triangle (The Inner & Outer Persecutor, Rescuer, and Victim)

Season 3: First Chakra (Relationships & Sexuality & The Mother Wound)

Season 4: Second Chakra (Integration of the Multidimensional Self & The Father Wound)

Season 5: Third Chakra (Growing Up and the Money Wound)

Season 6: Fourth Chakra (Primal Wounds Revisited, Villains & Karma Yoga)

www.thisspiritualfix.com

2023. All rights reserved. Ciencias Sociales Crianza y Familias Desarrollo Personal Espiritualidad Higiene y Vida Saludable Hinduismo Psicología Psicología y Salud Mental Relaciones Éxito Personal
Episodios
  • 7.17 How to Communicate with Your Villains Pt 2

    7.17 How to Communicate with Your Villains Pt 2
    Dec 2 2025
    How to talk to the Vengeful Martyr, Evasive Expert, Divisive Immortal, Hungry Shapeshifter, Righteous Bully, and The NothingIn this second part of the “Communicating with Villains” series, Kristina and Anna get very practical about how to actually talk to people who are running these archetypes, including when you are the one in the villain seat.They move from real stories about teeth, genetics, and breast health into concrete language, strategies, and “do not do this” warnings for each villain.This is the “how to handle them in real life” episode.In this episodeKristina and Anna explore:How the Vengeful Martyr shows up in health, caregiving, and self neglectWhy dental and breast health can become a mirror for martyrdomThe role of Divisive Immortal catastrophizing in medical decisions and safetyHow to make choices that are logical, not fear based, even around cancer riskHow to actually talk to:Evasive ExpertDivisive ImmortalHungry ShapeshifterRighteous BullyThe Nothing / Invisible DestroyerThey also name the difference between doing “self work” on your villain and learning to stay in relationship with someone else’s.The Vengeful Martyr: health, teeth, and breast tissueAnna shares:How her “Vengeful Martyr era” lined up with sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, and her first major dental issuesThe realization that she invests in visible hygiene and beauty, while neglecting things no one sees, like gums, pap smears, and internal healthA concrete shift: flossing, water picking, changing dentists, and choosing a provider who does not shame herA genetic test that revealed increased risk for breast cancer and skin cancer, and her decision to act now rather than “martyr” herself by ignoring itWhy she is seriously considering prophylactic bilateral mastectomies as an act of self nourishment, not fearKristina reflects on:The symbolism of breasts as sources of nourishment and pleasure, and what it means to “retire” the functional side of them in order to care for the selfHow the Nourisher legend of the Vengeful Martyr is “drink while you pour,” and how that plays out in real bodies and real choicesThe overlap between Vengeful Martyr and Divisive Immortal when it comes to health, anxiety, and medical systemsDivisive Immortal: fear, loyalty, and catastropheThey unpack:How the Divisive Immortal can show up as catastrophizing doctors, shaming providers, and rigid ideas about safetyThe Enneagram 6 “loyal skeptic” flavor, and how loyalty plus fear becomes rigidityThe difference between making a logical preventive decision and making a fear based decisionHow two people can face the same medical risk but be activated in different villains, one in Vengeful Martyr, one in Divisive ImmortalCommunication tips for Divisive Immortal:Avoid “us versus them” language and triangulationEmphasize “you and me versus the problem”Reassure safety and solidaritySay things like:“I feel the fear you are feeling, and I understand it”“I am not your enemy, we are on the same team”“Our relationship is bigger than this argument”Evasive Expert: logic, avoidance, and emotional shutdownFor the Evasive Expert, Kristina and Anna cover:How they over rely on logic and under express emotion, or explode when emotion finally leaks outClassic tells: “I do not know how I feel,” or answering questions with cerebral analysisWhy approaching them with pure emotion makes them disappearCommunication tips for Evasive Expert:Lead with logic, not dramaPresent the impact as a logical chain: “A and B happened, which led to C and D, can you see why I might be upset”Use “logic puzzles” to pierce the emotional shellIn full blow up mode, give them time to process, then return with calm, structured reasoningHungry Shapeshifter: attention, performance, and multiplicityFor the Hungry Shapeshifter, they discuss:The need for attention, lightness, and performanceHow calling out their shifting identities can feel humiliating, not helpfulWhy dramatic outbursts are often releases, not always indicators of deep relational ruptureCommunication tips for Hungry Shapeshifter:Let them perform, be the audience rather than the critic in the momentNotice patterns over time, not just one dramatic sceneWhen they are calm and grounded, take them more seriously than in full performance modeInvite coherence by asking, “Which part of you feels most true right now”Righteous Bully: conviction, protection, and curiosityFor the Righteous Bully, Anna shares how working this arc has changed what even triggers her, and why things that used to set her off no longer land.They cover:The intensity and danger of the Righteous Bully when they have reached their limitHow they will burn things down to protect what they love or believe inThe shift from externalized bullying to internalized self criticismCommunication tips for Righteous Bully:Be deeply curious, not defensiveReflect their point of view back accurately so they feel heardUse ...
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    49 m
  • 7.16 Communicating with the Villain, Part One of Two

    7.16 Communicating with the Villain, Part One of Two
    Nov 18 2025
    This episode continues the practical series on the Inner Villain system by breaking down how to communicate with each villain type. Kristina and Anna pull from real life, therapy, and relationship work to translate a complex shadow-work system into clear tools you can use with partners, friends, coworkers, and family.Before the communication section, the episode also covers:• Purpose vs meaning• Why your purpose isn’t defined by you• How creation works when it’s not about control• A new metaphor for the 9 Villains as phases in the lifecycle of a flowering plant• Why people “get stuck” in certain villain phases• What it means to grow in order vs out of orderEPISODE BREAKDOWN00:00 — Opening & Check-InKristina and Anna reconnect after a break from recording.They talk somatic healing, practical implementation struggles, and the tension between “etheric narrative work” and real-life applicability.05:00 — Purpose vs MeaningAnna shares insights from her Kabbalah class:• Meaning is personal interpretation.• Purpose is assigned externally (source, God, universe).• You don’t get to define your purpose. Others and life events reveal it.Kristina connects this to Viktor Frankl, creation without attachment, and Buckminster Fuller’s idea that purpose arrives at a perpendicular angle to your intentions.13:00 — BREAKTHROUGH DREAM: The 9 Villains as the Life Cycle of a Flowering PlantKristina shares a liminal-space dream that reframed the entire Villain System through the natural growth stages of a plant.A concise map:Obedient Critic — Seed. Rules, inherited limitations, instruction set.Vengeful Martyr — Cotyledon (baby leaves). Self-generated energy. Doing everything alone.Vain Controller — True leaves + root establishment. Channels, resources, trust.Eternal Child — Explosive growth, abundance, chaos.Evasive Expert — Balancing inputs. Regulating water/light.Divisive Immortal — Flowering. Death, risk, community, cross-pollination.Hungry Shapeshifter — Seed production. Creativity, potentiality.Righteous Bully — Seed release. Letting go. Not controlling outcomes.Invisible Destroyer — Desiccation / return to soil. Crone, surrender, dissolution.Use it to locate yourself. If you’re “stuck,” look at the developmental stage you skipped.41:53 — PRACTICAL SECTION: COMMUNICATING WITH EACH VILLAINThis is the part listeners asked for. Clear, real-world communication strategies, conflict prevention tools, and repair patterns for each villain.1. The Obedient Critic (OC)Rule-set oriented, easily offended, perfectionistic, rigid.Preventive strategies:• Exchange rule-sets explicitly. Ask: “What does X mean to you?”• Agree on shared relationship rules or a “contract.”• Avoid assuming your interpretation matches theirs.• Overshare context up front to avoid catastrophic misinterpretation.During conflict:• Use permissive, soft entry language: “Could we try…?” “Maybe we consider…?”• Validate their meaning first: “I see how in your world this means X.”• Never say “You’re wrong.” Reframe instead: “In my world, this means something different.”2. The Vengeful Martyr (VM)Energy-banker, does everything alone, keeps score, collapses into exhaustion.Preventive strategies:• Do not exploit their over-functioning.• Build real competence in the areas they normally shoulder alone.• Remove responsibility from them physically (take the kids out of the house, run point on meals, etc.).• Combine gratitude + competent action.During conflict / meltdown:• Open with: “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”• Listen. Don’t defend. Don’t reason.• Offer immediate relief from responsibility.• After they calm: reduce the systemic over-responsibility that created the blowup.3. The Vain Controller (VC)Status-driven, work-driven, image-driven, terrified of betrayal.Preventive strategies:• Avoid competition or one-upping.• Celebrate small vulnerability when they offer it.• Keep your promises. No exceptions.• Reward their hard work in tangible, visible ways.During conflict:• Acknowledge the breach directly: “I recognize I broke a promise here.”• Use “I will work harder” language.• Outline concrete steps you will take to restore trust.• Don’t joke about their insecurities. They will not take it well.4. The Eternal Child (EC)Dream-logic, confabulation, entitlement, dramatic swings.Preventive strategies:• Set clear expectations + consequences. Consistency matters more than anything.• Bring in practicality without shaming their dream-side:“I love your vision. Let’s anchor it with two practical steps.”• Give them structure, timelines, and follow-through.During conflict / tantrum:• Do not debate their story. It won’t land.• Provide grounding: “I’m here. I’m not abandoning you.”• Hold consistent consequences afterward.• If they escalate to destructive behavior: remove yourself and hold the ...
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    50 m
  • 7.15 Healing the Villains: Reflections on the Evasive Expert, Righteous Bully, & Obedient Critic

    7.15 Healing the Villains: Reflections on the Evasive Expert, Righteous Bully, & Obedient Critic
    Nov 4 2025
    Kristina and Anna unpack how the Inner Villain system shows up in everyday life: time blindness, rule-set clashes, obsessive “fixing,” and the loneliness of divide-and-conquer living. Kristina shares how mold, town history, and nervous-system patterns mirrored the Evasive Expert arc—and the practical “FUNNY” framework she and Luke use to slow down, reconnect, and shift out of overthinking. Anna explores the Righteous Bully, Obedient Critic, Nothing (Invisible Destroyer), and Eternal Child dynamics in relationships, with concrete tools for timing difficult conversations. Together they sketch common pairings between villains, why some arcs magnetize each other, and how to convert shadow patterns into serviceable strengths.Chapter Markers00:00 Checking in: ego death, gratitude as daily practice02:23 Why the Villain work feels more useful than “primal wounds” alone04:58 Anti-heroes and arcs: we’re rarely pinnacle villains for long05:58 What is time blindness and how it strains relationships08:49 Calendar blindness vs time blindness09:58 Time for mortals: insights from Four Thousand Weeks (Oliver Burkeman)11:58 Estimation traps, executive function, and project-management “laws”13:58 Tools: timers, delayed conversations, and tech to protect relationships15:00 The Evasive Expert must slow down: decompression blocks and focus holds16:48 Safety, protection, and the urge to “fix it now”18:00 Cities, homes, couples as arcs; mapping a house as Evasive Expert21:45 Diagnostic combos: how 7-8-9 become “advanced” villains24:50 Obedient Critic rabbit holes and living by rule sets27:15 Laws of nature over personal rules; the Law of Procession31:40 Case study: two Obedient Critics and the family rule set clash33:50 Couples and houses as Villain ecosystems39:00 The FUNNY framework to invert the Evasive Expert44:10 Golden Hour: shared effort to reduce isolation50:10 Righteous Bully with the Nothing: common pairing patterns54:15 Other frequent pairings and why they happen58:40 Meme break: naming the villains with humor1:03:10 Working with parts: IFS, deconditioning, and flipping subtypes1:06:15 Homework and next episode: communicating with each villainKey Concepts & ToolsTime Blindness vs Calendar BlindnessTime blindness: difficulty perceiving passing minutes and sequencing tasks.Calendar blindness: difficulty tracking dates, planning horizons, and overlaps.Villain Arcs (selected)Obedient Critic (OC): lives by rigid rule sets; seeks correction and order. Legend: Equalizer.Vengeful Martyr (VM): over-gives to earn belonging; nourishes, then resents.Eternal Child (EC): entitled to care; toggles anxious/avoidant; covert romantic.Righteous Bully (RB): fusion of VM + OC; imposes “right” for safety and control.Evasive Expert (EE): over-intellectualizes, compartmentalizes; feelings drive from underground.Invisible Destroyer / The Nothing (ID): EE + Divisive Immortal; withdrawal, disappearance.Hungry Shapeshifter (HS): attention-seeking blend of Vain Controller + Eternal Child.Common Pairings (why they attract)RB + ID (Nothing): control/pursuit meets withdrawal; each amplifies the other.VM + EC: Wendy and Peter; nourishment meets eternal dependency.EE + Divisive Immortal: logic and safety bind; loyalty sustains low intimacy.HS + ID/EE: performance pairs with a quieter partner who recedes.Practical ToolsTimers & Alarms: outsource time perception to protect relationships.Deferred Conflict Scheduling: drop a calendar note to discuss when regulated.Decompression Blocks: 15-minute buffers after sessions to downshift.Golden Hour: whole-family or couple co-work on one project to restore “together energy.”Framework: FUNNY (to invert the Evasive Expert)F — Free: create time and space to slow down.U — United: do unpleasant tasks together; reduce divide-and-conquer loneliness.N — Nuanced: reject all-or-nothing; find middle paths.N — Natural: return to body signals and instinct, not just cognition.Y — You: keep it personal and present; ask, “Is this funny?” as a shorthand check.Quotes“You don’t save your kid from pain. You help them become the leader of their own system.”“The Evasive Expert can’t think its way out. It has to slow down.”“Repetition isn’t punishment. It’s practice.”“Have a honey-driven life. Purpose arrives at 90 degrees.”References & MentionsOliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for MortalsInternal Family Systems (IFS) for working with partsLaw of Procession (purpose arrives indirectly)Loki (Marvel), Vision, Agatha as archetypal studies of time and shadowMarshall Thurber TedxTalk MelbourneTakeawaysIdentify whether your issue is time blindness, calendar blindness, or both. Choose tools accordingly.When you feel the urge to correct, schedule the talk instead. Protect the bond first.Map your home, town, or relationship as an arc. Ask what gift already emerged from the “problem.”Use FUNNY to invert overthinking into connection.Diagnose pair...
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