Episode 11: “I Said ‘I’m Grateful’ When I Should’ve Said ‘I’m Good’”

Subtitle: Outgrowing Workplaces That No Longer Grow You

Are you stuck in a job that looks good on paper—but feels misaligned in your spirit? In this episode of The Upgrade with L, Lauren Hayes breaks down the silent ways high-achieving women—especially Black women—shrink themselves in workplaces that no longer serve their growth.

From polite office politics to being praised but not promoted, Lauren unpacks how we mistake gratitude for guilt, loyalty for self-abandonment, and humility for silence. She shares personal stories, tangible signs that your role may be keeping you small, and powerful reframes to help you leave with peace—not panic.

Whether you’re quietly battling burnout or finally ready to walk away from a job that doesn’t honor your potential, this episode is your permission slip to move from survival to alignment.

What You’ll Learn:

• The subtle signs you’ve outgrown your role
• How to separate gratitude from guilt
• What it means to choose growth over loyalty
• A powerful framework to help you know when it’s time to move on

Keywords: career growth, burnout, job alignment, workplace toxicity, leaving a job, women in leadership, Black women in corporate, personal development, boundaries at work, knowing your worth, high achievers

Listen now to upgrade your mindset—and your professional future.

💡 Stay Connected & Keep Upgrading:
📩 Sign up for first access & exclusive content → www.theupgradewithl.com
📱 Follow me on Instagram → @theupgradewithl
🎥 Subscribe on YouTube → @theupgradewithl

Subscribe to Upgrade Letters on Substack → theupgradewithl.substack.com

💬 Join the conversation using #TheUpgradeWithL

✨ Want to support the show?
• Share this episode with a friend who needs this message.
• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—your feedback helps us grow!
• Tag me on social media when you’re listening—I love seeing how The Upgrade with L is impacting you!

📧 For business inquiries & speaking engagements: lauren@theupgradewithl.com

🚀 The best investment you’ll ever make? Betting on yourself. Upgrade accordingly.

When you start healing… when you stop performing and start aligning with who you really are—something shifts.

You begin to outgrow people, places, and patterns that once felt like home.

You stop shrinking to stay accepted.

You stop bending to be palatable.

And suddenly, you’re misunderstood.

In this episode of The Upgrade with L, host Lauren Hayes unpacks the emotional cost of personal growth and identity shifts—especially for Black women who are navigating healing in real time. This is for anyone who’s ever been labeled dramatic, distant, or different just for choosing peace over people-pleasing.

Lauren explores how outgrowing friendships, shedding survival patterns, and embracing emotional clarity can feel isolating—but ultimately liberating. She speaks directly to the woman standing in the in-between: no longer who she was, not yet fully where she’s going.

If you’ve ever felt like freedom made you unrecognizable to the people who once loved you—this episode will hit home.

This isn’t a breakdown. It’s a breakthrough.

💡 Stay Connected & Keep Upgrading:
📩 Sign up for first access & exclusive content → www.theupgradewithl.com
📱 Follow me on Instagram → @theupgradewithl
🎥 Subscribe on YouTube → @theupgradewithl

Subscribe to Upgrade Letters on Substack → theupgradewithl.substack.com

💬 Join the conversation using #TheUpgradeWithL

✨ Want to support the show?
• Share this episode with a friend who needs this message.
• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—your feedback helps us grow!
• Tag me on social media when you’re listening—I love seeing how The Upgrade with L is impacting you!

📧 For business inquiries & speaking engagements: lauren@theupgradewithl.com

🚀 The best investment you’ll ever make? Betting on yourself. Upgrade accordingly.

What do you do when life forces you to start over—and you didn’t ask for the reset?

In this episode of The Upgrade with L, we’re talking about the gut-wrenching moments no one prepares you for: the unexpected layoff, the breakup you didn’t see coming, the dream that disappeared overnight. This isn’t a glow-up. This is ground zero.

Lauren gets real about the emotional spiral that comes with losing your identity, your plan, and your sense of direction. You’ll hear how to rebuild your life when the timing feels unfair, the silence feels loud, and your self-worth is hanging by a thread.

This episode is for anyone navigating:
•A life reset you didn’t see coming
•Identity loss after a layoff, breakup, or transition
•The quiet grief of starting over
•How to rebuild when you don’t feel ready
•What healing really looks like when the world stops clapping

Whether you’re deep in the wreckage or trying to find your footing again, this conversation will remind you: you’re not behind. You’re being rebuilt. And what you’re becoming is more aligned than anything you’ve lost.

Ready for support as you rebuild?
Apply for 1:1 coaching with Lauren or explore her latest offers at: www.theupgradewithl.com
Your next chapter deserves intention—and you don’t have to navigate it alone.

💡 Stay Connected & Keep Upgrading:
📩 Sign up for first access & exclusive content → www.theupgradewithl.com
📱 Follow me on Instagram → @theupgradewithl
🎥 Subscribe on YouTube → @theupgradewithl

Subscribe to Upgrade Letters on Substack → theupgradewithl.substack.com

💬 Join the conversation using #TheUpgradeWithL

✨ Want to support the show?
• Share this episode with a friend who needs this message.
• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—your feedback helps us grow!
• Tag me on social media when you’re listening—I love seeing how The Upgrade with L is impacting you!

📧 For business inquiries & speaking engagements: lauren@theupgradewithl.com

🚀 The best investment you’ll ever make? Betting on yourself. Upgrade accordingly.