Why do so many women leave their birth experience wondering, “Why did I agree to that?”

In this episode, we explore a rarely discussed but deeply important aspect of childbirth — the body’s survival response, and how it can shape decision-making in labour in ways we don’t always recognise at the time.

Through a powerful listener story, this conversation gently unpacks what can happen when a woman is in a highly vulnerable, hormonally driven state, and how her nervous system may respond to pressure, authority, or perceived threat. We explore the concept of fawning — a natural, biological response where the body seeks safety through compliance — and how this can lead to saying “yes” in moments where there may not have felt like a real choice.

We then move into cognitive dissonance, the psychological process that often follows birth, where the brain works to make sense of decisions that may not have felt fully aligned in the moment. This can leave women feeling confused, questioning themselves, or quietly unsettled — even when everything appeared to go “well” on the surface.

This episode is not about blame or criticism. It’s about understanding.
Understanding the nervous system.
Understanding the power dynamics within maternity care.
And understanding how true, informed consent relies on more than just the presence of a “yes.”

We also explore what this means in the context of autonomy and consent, and why awareness of these responses before birth can be so powerful. When women understand how their body and brain may respond under pressure, they can begin to prepare — not to control birth, but to stay more connected to themselves within it.

If you have ever felt unsure about decisions made during your birth, or if you’re preparing for birth and want a deeper understanding of how to protect your space, your voice, and your autonomy, this episode will offer a new lens — one rooted in compassion, not judgement.

Because this isn’t about getting it “right.”
It’s about understanding what’s happening — and giving yourself the support and awareness to stay connected to your choices, even in the most intense moments.

Send me a message

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner

Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford

Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable fo...

I’m taking a little break over the Easter holidays, but I didn’t want you to miss this episode, because it’s the final one in our postpartum series, part of this season on The Reality of Birth.

Across this series, we’ve explored what life is really like after birth—the joys, the challenges, the surprises, and all the moments in between. We’ve talked about sleep, emotional shifts, body changes, identity, and the real realities of those first few weeks with a newborn.

For this final episode, I’m revisiting a conversation I had with fellow doula Maddie McMahon, all about breastfeeding—one of the most rewarding, yet often misunderstood, parts of postpartum life. We get into the practical challenges, the emotional highs and lows, and what it really takes to navigate feeding in those early weeks.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy this important discussion while I recharge over the holidays. 💛

You can find Maddie - developingdoulas.co.uk

Maddies Miracle - https://maddiesmiracle.org.uk/

Breastfeeding helplines:-

• National Breastfeeding Helpline: 0300 100 0212.
• Association of Breastfeeding Mothers: 0300 330 5453.
• La Leche League: 0345 120 2918.
• National Childbirth Trust (NCT): 0300 330 0700.
• The Breastfeeding Network supporter line in Bengali and Sylheti: 0300 456 2421.

The 4 Keeps:

• Keep your baby fed
• Keep your milk flowing
• Keep your baby close
• Keep your breastfeeding helper on speed dial

http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/video/bn3clip.html?fbclid=IwAR0__-DYLW0cji2esq9l2iLT89dm9G0rCrvKps98Vu2sxPqoYn8MoJkvz14

https://youtu.be/WmOvR8Om79Y (me - bottle top latch)

Send me a message

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner

Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford

Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable fo...

Motherhood is more than a role—it’s a profound transformation. In this episode, I explore matrescence, the process of becoming a mother, and what it really means for your body, your relationships, and your sense of self.

I talk openly about reconnecting with your postpartum body, navigating intimacy and sex after birth, and adjusting to the new dynamics in your relationship. I share reflections on shifting priorities, managing guilt when taking time for yourself, and learning to let go of control while trusting others with your baby. I also explore the delicate and personal decisions around having another child, including balancing fear and desire and honouring your own readiness.

This episode is honest, grounded, and compassionate. It’s a reminder that motherhood isn’t about getting it right—it’s about understanding the changes you’re going through, moving through them with awareness, and integrating them into your new life. I also discuss what to do if you’re struggling and why asking for support is a sign of strength, not failure.

By the end of this episode, I hope you feel seen, validated, and reminded that you’re not just learning how to care for a baby—you’re learning how to live as a mother.

Send me a message

If you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesford

If you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-

Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/Labouroflove

The Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9df

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmO

Pregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'
- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPF

You can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk

Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner

Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford

Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable fo...