Grab my FREE Guide “Finally at Peace” and start breaking free from survival mode: https://janice-holland.kit.com/finallyatpeace

Discover a powerful concept to shift your mindset and unlock inner peace. This video offers inspiration and actionable steps for personal growth, drawing from psychology to enhance self improvement and ignite your motivation.

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Ready to go Deeper?

Join the Courageous Living Membership: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-no-bs-membership/

Join the 60 Day Reset Group: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/cl-group-transformation/

Work with me 1:1: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-journey/

Not sure which one to pick?

Take the quiz: https://form.typeform.com/to/YFxykSjU

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Grab my FREE Guide “Finally at Peace” and start breaking free from survival mode: https://janice-holland.kit.com/finallyatpeace

You’ve been taught that saying *yes* keeps people close. That giving more means loving more. But here’s the truth: over-giving isn’t love—it’s self-abandonment. And instead of creating closeness, it destroys intimacy.

In this episode, Janice Holland calls out the myth that constant giving is virtue. You’ll discover why saying yes all the time is actually manipulation, how “performance service” masquerades as selflessness, and why true intimacy only comes from boundaries.

⚡ Inside this episode:

- The hidden manipulation behind saying yes.

- The real cost of over-giving: resentment, loneliness, and illness.

- How faith and values get misused to justify self-abandonment.

- The difference between authentic service and performance service.

- Why boundaries aren’t walls—they’re the gateway to connection.

- One simple boundary you can start practicing today.

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Ready to go Deeper? Join the Courageous Living Membership: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-no-bs-membership/

Join the 60 Day Reset Group: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/cl-group-transformation/

Work with me 1:1: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-journey/

Not sure which one to pick? Take the quiz: https://form.typeform.com/to/YFxykSjU

Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.trauma.teacher

Grab my FREE Guide “Finally at Peace” and start breaking free from survival mode: https://janice-holland.kit.com/finallyatpeace

Are you truly at peace, or just stuck in survival mode? In this video, I break down the difference between the freeze response and true calm—a game-changing distinction for anyone on a trauma recovery journey.

If you’ve spent years people-pleasing, feeling numb, or confusing “shutting down” with actual serenity, this is for you.

You’ll learn:

- How freeze response can masquerade as calm

- Subtle signs you’re in survival mode (and not really at peace)

- What authentic calm actually feels like in your body

- Practical steps to move from freeze to genuine peace

Ready to stop abandoning yourself and start living courageously?

Let’s dig in!

__________________________________________________________

Ready to go Deeper?

Join the Courageous Living Membership: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-no-bs-membership/

Join the 60 Day Reset Group: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/cl-group-transformation/

Work with me 1:1: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-journey/

Not sure which one to pick? Take the quiz: https://form.typeform.com/to/YFxykSjU

Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.trauma.teacher

0:00 Introduction: The Calm That Isn't Calm

1:15 What is Freeze Response?

2:45 Signs You're Frozen (Not Peaceful)

4:20 What True Calm Actually Feels Like

6:10 Moving From Freeze to Authentic Peace

7:30 Your Next Steps

Grab my FREE Guide “Finally at Peace” and start breaking free from survival mode: https://janice-holland.kit.com/finallyatpeace

Have you ever swallowed your truth to keep the peace? You probably told yourself it was no big deal. But here's the reality—every time you silence yourself, you don't just hurt you. You feed dysfunction, enable abuse, and teach everyone around you that your needs don’t matter.

In this video, I’m breaking down:

- Everyday moments where self-silencing sneaks in (and why they’re not as harmless as you think)

- How silence creates chaos in your body—anxiety, depression, even physical illness

- Why “peacekeeping” actually keeps everyone stuck in dysfunction

- The research that proves silence is toxic to your nervous system

I’m Janice Holland, licensed therapist and your Bullsh*t Recovery Coach. My mission: help you step out of performative living where people-pleasing and self-abandonment thrive—and into courageous living where your voice leads, your choices align with your values, and your life finally belongs to you.

Ready to go Deeper?

Join the Courageous Living Membership: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-no-bs-membership/

Join the 60 Day Reset Group: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/cl-group-transformation/

Work with me 1:1: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-journey/

Not sure which one to pick?

Take the quiz: https://form.typeform.com/to/YFxykSjU

Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.trauma.teacher

Grab my FREE Guide “Finally at Peace” and start breaking free from survival mode: https://janice-holland.kit.com/finallyatpeace

You might not think of yourself as having an addiction… but if your nervous system lights up every time someone approves of you, and crashes every time you imagine disappointing someone— you’re hooked.

In this powerful episode, Janice Holland (Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor, Certified Trauma Model Therapist, and host of The Trauma Teacher) breaks down how people-pleasing activates the same reward pathways in your brain as drugs or alcohol—keeping you stuck in a cycle of survival mode, exhaustion, and disconnection from your real self.

You’ll learn the hidden emotional and physical costs of chronic people-pleasing and how to start breaking the cycle gently with small, doable steps—without dropping all the balls or blowing up your life ___________________________________________________________________Ready to go Deeper?

Join the Courageous Living Membership: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-no-bs-membership/

Join the 60 Day Reset Group: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/cl-group-transformation/

Work with me 1:1: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-journey/

Not sure which one to pick?

Take the quiz: https://form.typeform.com/to/YFxykSjU ___________________________________________________________________⏱ Chapter Timestamps

00:48 – Hook: What If You’re Addicted to Approval?

01:19 – The Dopamine Loop

02:19 – Signs You’re Stuck in the Cycle Over-apologizing, over-functioning, exhaustion, and resentment.

03:05 – The Body Cost How chronic people-pleasing erodes your nervous system and health.

03:35 – The Identity Cost How performing disconnects you from your real self and leaves you lonely.

04:07 – Why It Feels Impossible to Stop Your nervous system panics when you rest—and how that’s not weakness.

09:44 – How to Start Loosening the Pattern Micro-shifts to gently retrain your nervous system without dropping all the balls.

14:26 – The Ripple Effect on Others How over-functioning enables dysfunction and blocks growth in others.

16:20 – What’s Next Breaking cycles of performative living + how to go deeper with Janice.

Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.trauma.teacher

Grab my FREE Guide “Finally at Peace” and start breaking free from survival mode: https://janice-holland.kit.com/finallyatpeace

Join the 60 Day Reset Group: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/cl-group-transformation/

You’ve spent your whole life being “the strong one”—the dependable one, the one who holds everything together. It earned you love, safety, and belonging. But what if that strength isn’t really strength at all—what if it’s a trauma response rooted in fear of abandonment and performance?

In this powerful episode, Janice Holland (Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor, Certified Trauma Model Therapist, and host of The Trauma Teacher) reveals how the “strong one” identity keeps high-functioning people stuck in survival mode, disconnected from their needs, and trapped in exhaustion.

You’ll learn how this performance-based identity forms, the hidden emotional and physical toll it takes, and how to begin shifting from performing to being—so you can finally feel peace, joy, and connection in your life again. _________________________________________________________________Ready to go Deeper?

Join the Courageous Living Membership: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-no-bs-membership/

Join the 60 Day Reset Group: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/cl-group-transformation/

Work with me 1:1: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-journey/

Not sure which one to pick?

Take the quiz: https://form.typeform.com/to/YFxykSjU

⏱ Chapter Timestamps

00:00 – The Truth About Being Strong

00:20 – How This Role Forms

02:00 – Why Changing Feels So Scary

03:30 – The Hidden Costs

05:00 – The Body Impact How chronic stress and over-functioning break down your nervous system and immune system.

06:30 – The Fear of Disappointing Others

08:30 – What Real Strength Looks Like

09:30 – The Next Step How this “strength” quietly morphs into the addiction of people-pleasing. _________________________________________________________________Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.trauma.teacher

Grab my FREE Guide “Finally at Peace” and start breaking free from survival mode: https://janice-holland.kit.com/finallyatpeace

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Are you exhausted from constantly trying to make everyone else happy—yet never feeling good enough yourself?

In this powerful episode, Janice Holland—Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor, Certified Trauma Model Therapist, and host of The Trauma Teacher—reveals the hidden trauma response underneath people-pleasing.

You’ll discover how the drive to keep everyone else comfortable is actually rooted in survival mode and self-abandonment—and how to step into a new way of living rooted in confidence, creativity, and emotional safety.

This episode will open your eyes to what’s really been keeping you stuck, and help you begin the courageous journey of coming home to yourself.

1. 00:00 – Welcome & Why This Matters Why people-pleasing is draining you and sabotaging your dreams.

2. 03:18 – What People-Pleasing Really Is How people-pleasing is actually a sophisticated trauma response.

3. 07:42 – The Hidden Cost of Self-Abandonment What it’s costing you mentally, emotionally, and physically to keep everyone else comfortable.

4. 12:05 – Why Mindset Shifts Aren’t Enough Why affirmations, prayer, or therapy alone don’t fix this pattern.

5. 15:33 – The Key to Breaking Free: Courageous Living How to reclaim your voice, your needs, and your energy.

6. 20:10 – Your First Step Out of Survival Mode The simple, powerful shift to begin practicing today.

7. 23:45 – Final Words & Invitation to Go Deeper Encouragement, hope, and how to join the Courageous Living community.

_______________________________________________________________

Ready to go Deeper?

Join the Courageous Living Membership: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-no-bs-membership/

Join the 60 Day Reset Group: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/cl-group-transformation/

Work with me 1:1: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-journey/

Not sure which one to pick?

Take the quiz: https://form.typeform.com/to/YFxykSjU

Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.trauma.teacher

Join Janice as she delves into the complex world of rest and productivity, exploring why high-functioning women often feel guilty when they slow down.

Discover the roots of rest guilt, the impact of achievement-oriented upbringings, and practical steps to break the burnout cycle. This podcast offers insights and tools to help you embrace rest, redefine worthiness, and find peace in a world that equates productivity with value. Tune in for empowering conversations that encourage you to live courageously and authentically.

00:00] Introduction to Rest and Survival Mode

[02:00] The High-Functioning Woman's Dilemma

[04:00] Understanding Rest Guilt

[06:00] The Achievement-Oriented Family

[08:00] The Burnout Cycle

[10:00] Reframing Productivity and Worthiness

[12:00] Creating Safety in Rest

[14:00] Conclusion and Resources _________________________________________________________________Ready to go Deeper?

Join the Courageous Living Membership: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-no-bs-membership/

Join the 60 Day Reset Group: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/cl-group-transformation/

Work with me 1:1: https://janiceholland.thrivecart.com/the-courageous-living-journey/

Not sure which one to pick?

Take the quiz: https://form.typeform.com/to/YFxykSjU

Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.trauma.teacher