A half-hour- long (plus a bit) Ha'penny Horror 'Hursday minisode IN WHICH —

0:02:00: THE BLACK BAND; OR, THE COMPANIONS OF MIDNIGHT, Chapter 21:

• IN WHICH:— We return to Clara Melville at the theatre. Reginald Faulkner has been wooing her for some time now, sending flowers every night, and eventually sending her a packet of books. We know a formalization of their relationship cannot be far distant … but then one day, as she is walking home, she is forcibly scooped up by a pair of rough-looking men in a carriage and hurried off to Calais. One of them tells her she has a rich maiden aunt who has ordered her kidnapped and brought to her, to settle her vast estate upon her. And, being young and naïve, Clara believes him … should she? We shall see.

0:16:15: TERRIBLE TIDBIT OF THE DAY (from "Dickens' Dreadful Almanac"):

• An account of an unsuccessful attempt at a garrote robbery.

0:18:20: BEAUTIFUL VENICE; THE SCAFFOLD; CHARMING MAY.

• A broadside printed up in 1835 with three ballads printed on it, differing hilariously in tone.

0:22:36: THE SANGUINARY REVENGE:

• A truly horrible account of the sufferings of Madame la Comtesse de Chateaubriand, caught up in a personal power struggle between King Francis I and her coldly murderous husband. From The Terrific Register (1825).

Join host Finn J.D. John. for a half-hour-long spree through the darkest and loathliest stories seen on the streets of early-Victorian London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, switch off your mirror neurons, and let's go!

GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

• HIGH PADS: Highway robbers who work on foot rather than mounted on horseback.

• CRACKSMEN: Housebreakers or burglars.
• KNIGHTS OF THE BRUSH AND MOON: Drunken fellows wandering amok in meadows and ditches, trying to stagger home.
• CORINTHIAN: A fancy toff or titled swell. Used here as a reference to Corinthian Tom, the quintessential Regency rake depicted in Pierce Egan's "Life in London" (usually referred to as "Tom and Jerry")
• CHAFFING-CRIB: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.
• SHERRY OFF: To run away at top speed. Adopted from the nautical term "to sheer off."
• FLATS: Innocent, not-too-smart persons who are duped by "sharps." In other words, suckers.
• BUMS: Bailiffs.
• CRAPPING COVES: Pronounced "crêpe-ing," it means hangmen, who cause the widows of the criminals they execute to wear crêpe in mourning.
• THE OLD STONE JUG: Newgate Prison, or prisons in general.
• PADDINGTON FAIR: Execution day at Tyburn Tree gallows, which was in Paddington parish.
• DUNWICH, TOWN OF (spelled with no "T"): A seacoast town east of London, once very large, which eroded away and fell into the sea starting in the 13th century; only a few streets and houses remain today.
• DUNWITCH, BARONY OF (spelled with a "T"): A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.

• DUNSANY, BARONY OF: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany.

A spicy (-ish) Tuesday Twopenny Torrid minisode IN WHICH —

0:01:52: THE BALLET-GIRL'S REVENGE, IN WHICH —:

• CHAPTER 9: Rose learns her captors are working for Count Lerno. Then she sees her chance and bolts for the door, with the young man in hot pursuit. But she takes a wrong turn! The only escape is over the roof … can she make it? Or will she end up in a shattered, lifeless heap in the street fifty feet below?

0:22:45: BROADSIDE STREET BALLAD:

• "The Cruel Stepmother," which we visit briefly and summarize although it's too long to read. To read it in full, go to pennydread.com/discord and look in the "Welcome friend" server feed!

0:24:50: A SALACIOUS SALOON SONG:

• "The Maid and the Fowls," a humourous and ribald account in song of how a clever maid got herself out of trouble with her master after her cher-ami stole his supper.

0:30:20: FIVE VICTORIAN 'DAD JOKES.'

• From "Joe Miller's Jests; or, The Wit's Vade-mecum."

Join host Corinthian Finn, a.k.a. Finn J.D. John, for a half-hour-long spree through the scandal-sheets and story papers of old London! Grab a decanter and top off your glass, unload your stumps, and let's go!

GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Prime coves: Regency-era roysterers and young men-about-town.
• Dimber mots: Pretty, possibly dangerous young ladies.
• Knights of the Brush and Moon: Drunken fellows wandering amok in meadows and ditches, trying to stagger home.

• Chaffing-crib: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.

• Chicksters: Flamboyant ladies, often prostitutes
• Ladybirds: Another term for chicksters
• Bully rocks: Brothel muscle men
• Abbess: Brothel madam
• Mother H: A famous abbess from the 1830s
• Bolt the Moon: Fly by night
• Beaks: Magistrates and judges
• Get fly to the fakement: Get wise to a swindle that's being perpetrated.
• Dunwich, town of (spelled with no "T"): A seacoast town east of London, once very large, which eroded away and fell into the sea starting in the 13th century; only a few streets and houses remain today.

• Dunwitch, Barony of (spelled with a "T"): A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.
• Dunsany, Barony of: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany.

Episode 19 of Season Three! — A Sunday-evening full episode!

01:55: THE MYSTERIES OF LONDON (1844). In which —

• We learn the story of “Walter Sydney’s” deliverance from the filthy fate meant for him in the Fleet River, four years before. Along the way, we start getting hints that “Mr. Montague” knows more about the adventure than he would care to disclose … how deeply involved is he with Sir Rupert Harbrough, Diana Arlington, and Richard Markham? He visibly reacts when their names come up. Could this worldly businessman-about-town be the long-lost Eugene Markham himself?

22:49: A CRUEL INFATUATION (Terrific Register article):

• The story of an Irish adventurer who met a lovely girl in Italy; talked her into living with him; then, having murdered her when she turned up pregnant, finished his life as a galley slave.

26:45: CARMILLA, by J.S. Le Fanu (Part 1 of 9):

• IN WHICH: We meet our protagonist, Laura, a lonely little girl growing up in a musty castle deep in an Austrian mountain forest. She tells us of her dream, of a young woman laying down with her and then a sudden pain like a snake bite; but, was it really a dream? Then one day, a strange travelling-coach driving by overturns outside the gate ...

PLUS —

• We explore a "broadside ballad" published in 1843: "Beware of Rows at Notting-hill," by John Morgan, in which young men-about-town are advised to not get in fistfights around Clerkenwell, lest they be fined £15 for being lubberly, and an elegy for Augustus Frederick, Duke of Sussex written in barely-readable iambic pentameter;

• We learn a few more Victorian "dad jokes" from good old Joe Miller!

Join host Finn J.D. John. for a one-hour-long spree through the scandal-sheets and story papers of old London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, unload your stumps, and let's go!

EPISODE ART is a scene from Carmilla, showing Carmilla herself appearing at young Laura's bedside.

GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Gnostics: Smart, well dressed men.
• High flyers: Exceptionally good sports.
• Knights of the Brush and Moon: Drunken fellows wandering amok by moonlight in fields and ditches, trying to stagger home.
• Chaffing-crib: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.

• Tulips and Bigwigs: Preachers, usually Puritan and other nonconformist Protestant evangelical ones.
• Joe Miller: A famous Shakespearean player from the 1700s who was famous for being a stone-face deadpan actor. As an inside joke, his name was used for the collection of wisecracks that bears his name.
• Vade Mecum: Latin for "hand book."

• Red waistcoat: Uniform apparel of the Bow-street Runners, an early London police force replaced by the New Model Police (who dressed in blue rather than red) in 1839.
• Gammoners: Swindlers or bullshitters.
• Romoners: Gammoners who pretend to have occult powers.
• Old St. Giles: The most famous slum parish of London, also called "The Holy Land"
• Dunwich: A seacoast town east of London, once very large, which eroded away and fell into the sea; only a few streets and houses remain
• Dunwitch, Barony Of (note the "T"): A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.
• Dunsany, Barony Of: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany, one of Mr. Lovecraft's favorite authors.
• Rum te tum with the chill off: Most emphatically excellent.

A half-hour- long (plus a bit) Ha'penny Horror 'Hursday minisode IN WHICH —

0:01:57: SWEENEY TODD, THE BARBER OF FLEET-STREET, Chapter 58:

• IN WHICH:— Tobias is better, and talks a little about his experience at the shop to Minna and Colonel Jeffrey. But he can’t shake the dread that “when I least expect it, round the curtains of my bed, or from behind some chair, or from some cupboard about twilight, I shall not see the hideous face of Sweeney Todd?” Colonel Jeffrey assures him such a thing is quite impossible. Watched night and day by officers of the law, Todd is “more securely kept now than any wild beast in his den.” Does Tobias believe such assurances? More importantly … should he believe them?

0:15:38: BURIED ALIVE.

• A brief and tragic account of a grave-digger who went to work in the morning and ... didn't return for lunch.

0:17:05: AN ACCOUNT OF THE DYING WORDS AND EXECUTION of John, Peter, and William Stevens, A FATHER AND TWO SONS, who Underwent the Awful Sentence of the Law at Derby on Saturday, April 6, 1835, for Highway Robbery (an execution broadside).

• No Dick Turpin "Stand and Deliver" highway robbery here! The Stevens boys prefered to bludgeon their victims senseless with clubs and just take whatever they could find on them, as today's Execution Broadside tells.

0:22:36: THE TERRIFIC REGISTER:

• An account of the awful death of a young shipmate, when the trading vessel had put in to shore to hunt some deer to supplement rations on an island infested with tigers.

Join host Finn J.D. John. for a half-hour-long spree through the darkest and loathliest stories seen on the streets of early-Victorian London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, switch off your mirror neurons, and let's go!

GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

• TOPPING COVES: Hangmen.
• BODY SNATCHERS: Police officers, thief-takers, and other law-enforcement and para-law-enforcement men.
• KNIGHTS OF THE BRUSH AND MOON: Drunken fellows wandering amok in meadows and ditches, trying to stagger home.
• CORINTHIAN: A fancy toff or titled swell. Used here as a reference to Corinthian Tom, the quintessential Regency rake depicted in Pierce Egan's "Life in London" (usually referred to as "Tom and Jerry")
• CHAFFING-CRIB: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.
• FLATS: Innocent, not-too-smart persons who are duped by "sharps." In other words, suckers.
• BUMS: Bailiffs.
• CRAPPING COVES: Pronounced "crêpe-ing," it means hangmen, who cause the widows of the criminals they execute to wear crêpe in mourning.
• THE OLD STONE JUG: Newgate Prison, or prisons in general.
• TUCK-UP FAIR: Execution day at Newgate.
• DUNWITCH, BARONY OF: A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.
• DUNSANY, BARONY OF: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany.

A spicy (-ish) Tuesday Twopenny Torrid minisode IN WHICH —

0:01:45: BLACK BESS (featuring Highwayman Dick Turpin), IN WHICH —:

• CHAPTER 21: Dick Turpin, set free by the mob, shares every guinea in his purse with the mob. Now flat broke, he decides to rob the western coach to replenish his resources. He knows just the spot to do the job in, a dark thickly-wooded hollow called Deadman’s Hollow, and repairs thither just ahead of the coach. But as he approaches it, to take up his position for the ambush, a horseman surges out, pistol in hand. “Stand and deliver!” the newcomer shouts to Dick. “Your money or your life!”
• CHAPTER 22: Dick tells his new friend Tom the story of the spectre horseman whom he saw in the lane and who later drew the grabs off his track at the church where Elizabeth Chudleigh got married, and Tom confirms that it was indeed him. The two highwaymen formalize their partnership with oaths and handshakes. But by now dawn is breaking. Can they get to shelter before the sun comes up?

0:27:30: TWO SALACIOUS SALOON SONGS:

• "The Muff!" which was a scandalous tribute to every young rake's favorite furpiece, and
• "Bushey Park," a song in a similar vein. One does not envision these songs being chaunted in mixed company!

0:35:40: FOUR VICTORIAN 'DAD JOKES.'

Join host Corinthian Finn, a.k.a. Finn J.D. John, for a half-hour-long spree through the scandal-sheets and story papers of old London! Grab a decanter and top off your glass, unload your stumps, and let's go!

GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

• HELL CATS: Ladies who frequent gambling dens, which were called "hells."
• ARCH ROGUES: Leaders of a gang or gangs of thieves, Gypsy families, etc.
• KNIGHTS OF THE BRUSH AND MOON: Drunken fellows wandering amok in meadows and ditches, trying to stagger home.

• CHAFFING-CRIB: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.

• CHICKSTERS: Flamboyant ladies, often prostitutes
• LADYBIRDS: Another term for chicksters
• BULLY ROCKS: Brothel muscle men
• ABBESS: Brothel madam
• MOTHER H: A famous abbess from the 1830s
• BOLT THE MOON: Fly by night
• BEAKS: Magistrates and judges
• GET FLY TO THE FAKEMENT: Get wise to a swindle that's being perpetrated.

• DUNWITCH, BARONY OF: A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.
• DUNSANY, BARONY OF: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany.

Episode 16 of Season Three! — A Sunday-evening full episode (released a few hours early) IN WHICH —

02:45: VARNEY THE VAMPYRE, Ch. 20:

• In which: Pop quiz, hotshot: What two words should you NEVER say when you know there is a vampire in the neighborhood, and someone knocks on your bedroom door? Even if you think it’s your brother or fiancé? You know the answer. The legend is, they can only cross the threshold if someone invites them, right? So — the words to never say are, “Come in!” Guess someone should have told Flora Bannerworth that ….

15:45: VARNEY THE VAMPYRE, Ch. 21:

• In which: Admiral Bell is absolutely convinced, in spite of himself, and enthusiastically proclaims himself Team Flora. Then a scream rings out. The vampire has visited once again! They run for Flora’s room. Will she be OK? And can they catch the hideous vampire before he makes his escape from the house?

34:00: THE VAMPYRE, by Dr. John Polidori (Part 3 of 3):

• IN WHICH: Our hero, Mr. Aubrey, has returned to his native shore, a sadder and wiser young man ... or maybe not, because when the formerly dead Lord Ruthven makes his appearance, whispering "Remember your oath" to him, he seems unable to disobey ... this won't end well, will it? Tune in and find out!

PLUS —

• We explore a "broadside ballad" published in 1850: "The Sunday Trading Riot." In 1855, Sir Robert Grosvenor tried to pass a law forbidding anyone from buying or selling anything on Sundays — which were most people's only day off. A riot ensued in Hyde Park and a good time was had by all except Sir Robert Grosvenor ...

• We learn a few more Victorian "dad jokes" from good old Joe Miller!

Join host Finn J.D. John. for a one-hour-long spree through the scandal-sheets and story papers of old London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, unload your stumps, and let's go!

EPISODE ART is from Varney the Vampyre, and shows Sir Francis Varney conducting his second interview with Flora Bannerworth.

GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Prime coves: Smart, well dressed men.
• Out-and-Outers: Exceptionally good sports.
• Knights of the Brush and Moon: Drunken fellows wandering amok by moonlight in fields and ditches, trying to stagger home.
• Chaffing-crib: A room where drinking and bantering are going on.

• Autem bawlers: Preachers, usually Puritan and other nonconformist Protestant evangelical ones.
• Tip your rags a gallop: Run away at top speed.
• Red waistcoat: Uniform apparel of the Bow-street Runners, an early London police force replaced by the New Model Police (who dressed in blue rather than red) in 1839.
• Gammoners: Swindlers or bullshitters.
• Romoners: Gammoners who pretend to have occult powers.
• Old St. Giles: The most famous slum parish of London, also called "The Holy Land"
• Dunwitch, Barony Of: A small estate in the hills West of Arkham, according to Colonial chronicler H.P. Lovecraft. Does not actually exist, but if it did, would be headed by Finn J.D. John, 18th Baron Dunwitch.
• Dunsany, Barony Of: A large estate in Ireland, including Dunsany Castle in County Meath, headed until 1957 by legendary fantasy author Edward J.M.D. Plunkett, 18th Baron Dunsany.
• Rum te tum with the chill off: Most emphatically excellent.

A half-hour- long (plus a bit) Ha'penny Horror 'Hursday minisode IN WHICH —

0:02:48: THE BLACK BAND; OR, THE COMPANIONS OF MIDNIGHT; IN WHICH —:

• The scene cuts back to Lady Edith Merton, now a prisoner in her boudoir and guarded by a trio of burly madhouse matrons. Then she is awakened in the middle of the night for a secret journey to MacLomond Castle, which is to be her own private asylum in Scotland. It’s a damp, gloomy place with watchtowers and a moat. Such surroundings might drive her mad for real, except for one thing — at one of the railroad stations along the way, someone sent her a telegram containing the single word “hope.” Who could have sent it? And why?

Join host Finn J.D. John. for a half-hour-long spree through the darkest and loathliest stories seen on the streets of early-Victorian London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, switch off your mirror neurons, and let's go!

GLOSSARY OF FLASH TERMS USED IN THIS EPISODE:

• BULLY ROCKS: Thugs at the service of a brothel madam.
• COLLEGIATES: Penitentiary prisoners.
• KNIGHTS OF THE BRUSH AND MOON: Drunken fellows wandering amok in meadows and ditches, trying to stagger home.
• FLATS: Innocent, not-too-smart persons who are duped by "sharps." In other words, suckers.
• BUMS: Bailiffs.
• CRAPPING COVES: Pronounced "crêpe-ing," it means hangmen, who cause the widows of the criminals they execute to wear crêpe in mourning.
• THE OLD STONE JUG: Newgate Prison, or prisons in general.
• PADDINGTON FAIR: Execution day at Tyburn Tree gallows, which was located in Paddington parish.