FIVE NEW FLASH-CANT WORDS AND PHRASES —

• "Autem bawler"
• "Cat's meat shop"
• "Bulldogs"
• "Cross-crib"
• "Hoister mots, high tobers, and Moabites"

Plus a chapter each from our five vintage Penny Dreadfuls!

0:04:30: SWEENEY TODD, Ch. 47 —

• Johanna Oakley’s mother is on a rampage, trying to persuade her to consent to marry Pastor Lupin. Luckily, Big Ben the beefeater stops by with some victuals ... and, remember, last time that happened, Mrs. Oakley put some kind of savage purgative in the beer. Is Big Ben plotting some kind of revenge? You shall hear...

0:19:15: BLACK BESS (Dick Turpin) Ch. 9 —

• Highwayman Dick needs to get away from Drury-lane, and take Ellen with him. But the neighborhood is alarmed! Not to worry, he has a plan — with Ellen’s help, he thinks it will be all right. Next week we’ll find out if he’s right!

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0:32:00: VARNEY THE VAMPYRE, Ch. 9—

• We return to Flora, waiting for the men to get back from their midnight visit to the crypt. And she keeps hearing little scratching noises outside the room ... is the vampire coming back for her? Trembling with terror, she shrinks back away from the window, burrowing into the bedclothes for security ... and coming up with a pistol in each hand. Come get some, Vampey!

0:46:30: SPRING-HEEL'D JACK Ch. 9—

• Drunken brute Bill Jackson is at poor Ellen Folder’s door, demanding the rent and threatening to get it by seizing her employer’s property. If he does, she will be ruined — financially and maybe even criminally! The workhouse if she’s lucky, prison if she’s not! Can Spring-Heel’d Jack save her from a fate that really WOULD be worse than death? We shall see.

1:06:15: THE BLACK BAND Ch. 9—

• We meet a new cast of characters — a very old man and his niece and grand-nephew, Antony. He has called them to his bedside to unburden his conscience of a great evil that he says he has done. But he clearly does not trust Antony. What could it be? And is Antony to be trusted with such a secret?

Join Professor Flash, a.k.a. Finn J.D. John. for a 90-minute spree through the story papers of old London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, unload your stumps, and let's go!

IN WHICH we learn some of the back story of the unlikely "hero" of Black Bess; or, The Knight of the Road, courtesy of a 12-page children's chapbook published by Samuel and John Keys of Devonport in or around 1840 ... almost exactly 100 years after the real Dick Turpin was hanged for his depredations!

Be sure to join us this Saturday night for the next full episode of the Penny Dreadful Story Hour!

*stands for "A Fate Worse Than Death." We'll be seeing a lot of this!

FIVE NEW FLASH-CANT WORDS AND PHRASES —

• "Lawful Blanket"
• "Gunpowder"
• "Timber merchant"
• "Swill Tub"
• "Philistines"

Plus a chapter each from our five vintage Penny Dreadfuls!

0:05:00: SWEENEY TODD, Ch. 46 —

• The ostler from a hotel across the way arrives just in time to save Hector, the dog, from Sweeney Todd’s pistol. Then, as he rages over his failure to kill the dog, a customer comes into the shop, with 3000 pounds’ worth of jewels in his pocket and a small boy in tow. By now we know the score: Todd is going to try to get the little boy to leave the shop long enough for him to “disappear” the father and pocket the 3000 quid. Will it work?

0:18:30: BLACK BESS (Dick Turpin) Ch. 8 —

• Highwayman Dick Turpin, while escaping from the Bow-street runners, slips into the house next door and finds there the lady of the house vigorously beating a pretty orphan girl whom she has taken on, supposedly as a capmaker’s apprentice but really — remember our Flash Academy word from earlier today, Academician? Reading between the lines, it’s clear the pretty orphan girl is intended to be ... rented out, by the hatchet-faced old capmaker woman. Can Dick rescue her from this Life of Shame? Will they escape from the grabs? We shall see!

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0:36:15: VARNEY THE VAMPYRE, Ch. 8—

• The Bannerworth family party has made its way into the vault and identified which of the coffins was made to contain the mortal remains of their ancestor, Sir Runnagate Bannerworth, after his death in 1640. They hasten to open it. Will they find a skeleton inside? Or a fully undecayed body of an undead vampire? Or nothing at all, which would suggest that the undead ancestor is even now out searching for another Feast of Blood in the moonlight? We’ll see ...

1:00:30: SPRING-HEEL'D JACK Ch. 8—

• We meet yet another pretty girl in distress — 22-year-old Ellen Folder, a seamstress who is three weeks behind in her rent. Her landlord has come home drunk, belligerently demanding his money and threatening to seize Ellen’s employer’s property to cover it. If he does, she will be financially ruined, with no resource but the workhouse — and as every reader in 1867 well knew, the workhouse really WOULD be a Fate Worse Than Death! Will she escape from her landlord’s clutches and preserve her employer’s property? Well ... it’s complicated. You’ll see what I mean next week.

1:20:00: THE BLACK BAND Ch. 7—

• We rejoin poor Ellen Clavering, now Mrs. Darcy, a sad little bird living in a golden cage surrounded by every luxury but forbidden to speak to her father. She is rich, but miserable. Then Mr. Darcy — Colonel Bertrand — arrives with a white-faced gentleman, and we learn the outcome of the duel by the sea-shore.

Join Professor Flash, a.k.a. Finn J.D. John. for a 90-minute spree through the story papers of old London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, unload your stumps, and let's go!