*stands for "A Fate Worse Than Death." We'll be seeing a lot of this!

FIVE NEW FLASH-CANT WORDS AND PHRASES —

• "Lawful Blanket"
• "Gunpowder"
• "Timber merchant"
• "Swill Tub"
• "Philistines"

Plus a chapter each from our five vintage Penny Dreadfuls!

0:05:00: SWEENEY TODD, Ch. 46 —

• The ostler from a hotel across the way arrives just in time to save Hector, the dog, from Sweeney Todd’s pistol. Then, as he rages over his failure to kill the dog, a customer comes into the shop, with 3000 pounds’ worth of jewels in his pocket and a small boy in tow. By now we know the score: Todd is going to try to get the little boy to leave the shop long enough for him to “disappear” the father and pocket the 3000 quid. Will it work?

0:18:30: BLACK BESS (Dick Turpin) Ch. 8 —

• Highwayman Dick Turpin, while escaping from the Bow-street runners, slips into the house next door and finds there the lady of the house vigorously beating a pretty orphan girl whom she has taken on, supposedly as a capmaker’s apprentice but really — remember our Flash Academy word from earlier today, Academician? Reading between the lines, it’s clear the pretty orphan girl is intended to be ... rented out, by the hatchet-faced old capmaker woman. Can Dick rescue her from this Life of Shame? Will they escape from the grabs? We shall see!

• 
  

0:36:15: VARNEY THE VAMPYRE, Ch. 8—

• The Bannerworth family party has made its way into the vault and identified which of the coffins was made to contain the mortal remains of their ancestor, Sir Runnagate Bannerworth, after his death in 1640. They hasten to open it. Will they find a skeleton inside? Or a fully undecayed body of an undead vampire? Or nothing at all, which would suggest that the undead ancestor is even now out searching for another Feast of Blood in the moonlight? We’ll see ...

1:00:30: SPRING-HEEL'D JACK Ch. 8—

• We meet yet another pretty girl in distress — 22-year-old Ellen Folder, a seamstress who is three weeks behind in her rent. Her landlord has come home drunk, belligerently demanding his money and threatening to seize Ellen’s employer’s property to cover it. If he does, she will be financially ruined, with no resource but the workhouse — and as every reader in 1867 well knew, the workhouse really WOULD be a Fate Worse Than Death! Will she escape from her landlord’s clutches and preserve her employer’s property? Well ... it’s complicated. You’ll see what I mean next week.

1:20:00: THE BLACK BAND Ch. 7—

• We rejoin poor Ellen Clavering, now Mrs. Darcy, a sad little bird living in a golden cage surrounded by every luxury but forbidden to speak to her father. She is rich, but miserable. Then Mr. Darcy — Colonel Bertrand — arrives with a white-faced gentleman, and we learn the outcome of the duel by the sea-shore.

Join Professor Flash, a.k.a. Finn J.D. John. for a 90-minute spree through the story papers of old London! Grab a flicker of blue ruin, unload your stumps, and let's go!