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In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I break down what’s really happening beneath the surface when your partner gets triggered—and why it’s not as simple as “communicating better.” When your partner gets triggered, it’s not about winning, fixing, or proving your point—it’s about creating enough safety for the moment to settle.

This is not about fixing your partner or walking on eggshells.
It’s about understanding what’s happening and responding in a way that creates safety—so real communication can actually happen.

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “What just happened?” or “I didn’t even do anything,” this episode is for you.

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I’m really excited to welcome Alison Braun to The Hardcore Therapist podcast.

Alison’s first camera, a Pentax K1000 was a gift from her father, who taught her how to see light and story. What began as an interest in landscape photography shifted at fourteen, when she found punk rock in dark, crowded clubs on the Sunset Strip—and found her people.

Her camera moved her from observer to participant. Starting with her 1981 photos of Wasted Youth, Alison went on to document the heart of the punk and hardcore scene—shooting shows, photographing for Mystic Records, contributing to fanzines like Maximum Rock’n’roll, and capturing a movement that was never meant to be preserved.

Today her work is represented by Getty Images, and her archive stands as a living record of punk, hardcore, and community.

https://www.alisonbraun.com/

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When someone dies by suicide, the questions come fast.

How did this happen?
Why didn’t I see it?
What could I have done differently?

In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I talk about what actually matters when something like this happens—without speculation, without oversimplifying it, and with respect for the people who are grieving.

This is a grounded conversation about:

• why suicide is not always visible from the outside
• why this kind of loss can hurt deeply even if you did not know the person personally
• what to actually say when you are worried about someone
• how to support someone without feeling like you have to fix it
• and how grief after suicide can bring sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, and shock all at once

If you have been struggling to make sense of this kind of loss—or if you have been carrying pain quietly yourself—this episode is for you.

If you are in the U.S. and need support, call or text 988. If there is immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.

*Some Ideas

When Someone Is Struggling: What To Say, What To Do, What To

Know

WHAT TO NOTICE

Withdrawal, irritability, hopelessness, loss of interest, changes in sleep, energy, or behavior. There

isn’t always a clear sign.

WHAT TO SAY

“You haven’t seemed like yourself lately. I care about you—what’s been going on?”

ASK DIRECTLY

“Have you had thoughts about hurting yourself?” Asking directly does not make it worse. It can

open the door to honesty.

WHAT HELPS

Be present, listen without immediately trying to fix it, stay calm, and help connect them to support.

WHAT NOT TO DO

Don’t minimize, don’t rush to solve it, don’t panic, and don’t assume you know what they mean.

IF YOU’RE STRUGGLING

You do not have to wait until it gets worse. Reach out to someone you trust, a therapist, your

doctor, or a crisis resource.

U.S. CRISIS SUPPORT

Call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

If there is immediate danger or a medical emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency

room.

Veterans can call 988 and press 1, text 838255, or chat through the Veterans Crisis Line.

FOR THOSE GRIEVING

Grief can include sadness, anger, confusion, and guilt. You are not responsible for another person’s

internal world.

REMEMBER

You do not need perfect words. Just notice, ask, and stay.Sarah Kuretzky Rossington, MA, LPC, NBCC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Listen to The Hardcore Therapist podcast for more direct,

trauma-informed mental health insight.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.

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I am so honored to welcome today’s guest Drew Stone. Drew is a filmmaker, frontman, and author, known for works like the The Hardcore Chronicles, a long-running documentary project that captures hardcore culture in a, meaningful, confrontational, and deeply human way.

Today we’re talking about storytelling, subculture as nervous system regulation, and what it means to preserve a scene without sanitizing it. We’re also talking about growth, accountability, and how creative work becomes a form of self-examination over time.

This is a conversation about culture, memory, and the psychology of scenes that shape us.

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Why do people sometimes lose sexual desire in long-term relationships—even when they still love their partner?

In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I explore the emotional, relational, and biological reasons intimacy can change over time. Drawing from clinical experience and relationship research, she explains how stress, emotional disconnection, hormonal shifts, and complacency can all influence desire.

I also discusses why continuing to date your partner, maintaining daily emotional connection, and protecting the partnership throughout different life stages are essential for sustaining long-term intimacy.

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I am so excited to welcome Monica Tanner to The Hardcore Therapist podcast.

Monica is straight edge, a psychologist, a cancer survivor, and an all-around badass. She brings together lived experience and clinical depth in a way that’s rare—and deeply needed. Her story sits at the intersection of identity, resilience, discipline, and survival, and she doesn’t soften it for comfort.

Today we’re talking about what it means to move through illness without losing yourself, to practice psychology with integrity, and to live straight edge in a culture that often misunderstands what that actually represents. This is a conversation about strength, values, and staying rooted in who you are—even when life tries to take you apart.

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You’ve read the books. You’ve been in therapy. You understand your patterns. So why do certain moments in relationships still trigger such strong emotional reactions?

In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I explores why insight alone doesn’t always change how our nervous system responds to stress, conflict, or emotional distance in relationships. Drawing from trauma-informed frameworks and clinical experience, she explains how past relational experiences can continue to influence present-day reactions even when we intellectually understand what’s happening.

Through real-life clinical examples, this episode breaks down why triggers show up in marriage, dating, and family dynamics, and how learning to work with the body’s responses can create meaningful change.

You’ll learn:
• Why the nervous system reacts before the thinking brain catches up
• How past relational experiences shape present relationship triggers
• What trauma-informed therapy teaches about emotional activation
• Practical strategies to regulate your nervous system during conflict or uncertainty

I also highlights insights from Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine and Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman to explain how healing happens through awareness, regulation, and new relational experiences.

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Today’s guest is Sean Kennerly, guitarist, songwriter, and a foundational voice in Samiam, a band that helped shape emotionally honest punk at a time when vulnerability wasn’t exactly encouraged.

For decades, Samiam has occupied a rare space: aggressive without being performative, emotional without being polished, and deeply human without ever asking for permission. Their music has always lived at the intersection of anger, grief, reflection, and survival.

Sean joins me to talk about longevity, identity, and what it takes to stay honest with yourself over decades of creativity and change.

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