Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, where the intros are confusing, the hosts are unqualified, and the only thing steeper than our local trails is the price of a Deer Valley cookie. In this episode, we prove once again that no one should be taking mountain bike life advice from people whose greatest accomplishment is surviving a group chat roast.

This week, the crew kicks off with the usual banter about whose life is falling apart the fastest (spoiler: it’s a tie). Rob almost spits his beer everywhere, Perri brags about being a “spool carrier” like that means something, and Cheef tells traumatic cat stories that somehow end up with broken Corvettes, dead cats, and an existential crisis about Miatas.

We fail to get through the intro without getting distracted multiple times (classic), thank our sponsors with the enthusiasm of people who definitely don’t deserve them, and then drag CJ (“Neat Girl” herself, CJ Selig) back into the chaos for another round of questions she probably regrets answering.

Topics include:

• CJ’s wild re-entry to Virgin after Rampage, where she brings her Czech friend to Utah for a crash course in heatstroke and massive terrain anxiety

• Inside gossip about Rampage: why all the lines are basically a mosh pit, how to fail at finding enough rocks, and the pure joy of rolling big rocks down cliffs while TV producers have an aneurysm

• A masterclass on bombing desert ridges, eating shit, and pretending you’re not terrified because the camera crew is watching

• CJ's wrist x-rays, failed attempts at breaking the internet (or just her arm), and the motivational power of just yelling “Rampage!” at yourself until something “cool” happens

• More cat trauma, way too much information about how to dispose of cactuses, and at least two dog shoutouts (plus something about German paperwork, whatever)

Plus, Cheef and JP spend half the episode arguing who is stronger, CJ lists off sponsors like a guy on The Price Is Right, and everyone ignores the agenda to talk about BMX tricks that make us feel like toddlers on Striders.

We end by pretending to answer real listener questions, plugging our Patreon for the 37th time, and debating who our favorite guest is. CJ shouts out Haro Bikes, we thank our moms, and promises are made to tell more inappropriate stories in the Patreon bonus hour.

If you wanted an actual mountain bike podcast, you’re in the wrong place. If you want to hear why none of us should have a driver’s license, own power tools, or give motivational advice to anyone, subscribe, tune in, and prepare to regret it.*

*No cactuses were harmed in the making of this episode. Except that one. Oops.

00:00 Random cat and fan mishaps

08:22 Patreon perks and sponsor shoutout

11:29 Hitting the trails with style

18:50 Digging and improvising for Rampage

25:07 Recovering from a minor crash

32:46 From quiet digs to media chaos

37:30 Recovering from setbacks in riding

42:27 The challenges of desert riding

45:39 The vibe of mountain riding

53:18 Guest asks the hosts a question

56:52 Wrapping up hour one

01:02:24 CJ's epic trail riding

Gnar Couch, mountain biking, freeride, CJ Selig, podcast, Rampage, Red Bull Rampage, Virgin Utah, MTB injuries, women in MTB, mountain biking podcast, bike park, BMX, mountain bike tricks, dig crew, freeride mountain biking, downhill racing, Kalnica Bike Park, bike life, MTB crashes, MTB training, Utah mountain biking, mountain bike stories, mountain bike community, MTB progression, bicycle podcast, cycling, extreme sports, Haro Bikes, MTB sponsors, TRP Cycling, Crank Brothers

Welcome to Episode 260328 of the Gnar Couch Podshow, where mountain bike culture and idiocy crash together like two bros going for the same gap without checking their speed. If you came here for hot tips on how to shred harder, don’t worry, you’ll probably leave dumber than when you clicked.

This week, our special guests are Dillon Butcher (alleged trail wizard, possible cult leader) and Cole Nichol (not Cole Trickle, but we keep pretending anyway), straight from the Pacific Northwest where the dirt’s as loamy as our brains are mushy. They dive into their New World Disorder-inspired video project and explain how to build giant jumps, scare yourself, and survive digging for Rampage riders without peeing your pants.

Topics include:

• Trail guinea pigging: Why sending a freshly built monster jump is more terrifying than sharing a bathroom stall at Maverick.

• Mountain bike genres: Is there actually a war between “trail dads” and “freeride degenerates,” or did we invent that?

• Biking in Vancouver Island vs Utah: More trees, fewer crackheads (allegedly).

• Building jumps for your own glory and why kids will always poach your lines before you do a backflip.

• Sordid tales from Rampage dig crews, plus existential questions about penis size and Metallica vs Megadeth that definitely should not be public.

• Additional random nonsense about single-named rappers, beer-fueled philosophical debates, and why most of us probably need therapy.

Things get even more sideways when we try to remember which sponsor still talks to us, plug a questionable pair of pants, and force the guests to answer ridiculous Instagram questions. By the end, you’ll know about the Reza Trails jam, how to get better at jumping (pro tip: don’t listen to us), and why the second hour is somehow even more off-topic.

Professionalism? None. Bad life advice? Guaranteed. Thorough research? Not even a little bit.

If you want stories from people who dig, ride, and talk way too much about their toes, you’re home. If you want actual skill progression, please unsubscribe and don’t tell your coach.

Subscribe, like, or drop a comment explaining why you’re still here, because honestly, we can’t figure it out either.

PS: Don’t skip the song at the end unless you hate country music and joy.

Guest info: Dillon Butcher, Cole Nichol, Reza Trails Check out our store for sick shirts.

Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month. We all ride TRP brakes. They're the best. Buy some. Thanks to crankbrothers and Hyland Cyclery and EXT Suspension for always keeping the bikes running. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

Why aren't you as good as Tylor James? Because you didn't hit Crabapple Hits your first time at Whistler then move to Virgin and start hucking your meat of cliffs. It's okay. Most of us are pussies. He's not. Tylor is a 43 year old dad who started MTB about 4 years ago and he's hit some of the biggest features in Virgin, where he now lives with his wife and four kids. He's one of the nicest dudes and a big reason we've booked so many great guests. Seriously, we hope you find some inspiration listening to his story, whether it's MTB, parenting, or nude pissing in Rob's backyard. Guest info: Tylor James

Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month. We all ride TRP brakes. They're the best. Buy some. Thanks to crankbrothers and Hyland Cyclery and EXT Suspension for always keeping the bikes running. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, the official headquarters of half-baked mountain bike wisdom, questionable life choices, and a healthy mix of potty humor. This week, we're stoked to have slopestyle legend and Rampage veteran Cam McCaul stopping by the virtual couch. On this episode, we get into: 

The glory days of freeride, the existential crisis of realizing you’re a Millennial, and why sending it in the Utah desert will always result in someone getting “slapped by the boss” (spoiler: the boss is sand). 

Behind-the-scenes chaos of Red Bull Rampage broadcasting, where Cam McCaul handles a hectic headset while trying not to say things he's not supposed to. 

A deep dive into what makes a “favorite feature."

As always, Boston Rob manages to geek out so hard he nearly breaks the camera, Cheef sells the Patreon like it’s his last shot at retirement, and the classic “Rob can’t do intros” running gag continues. And we have to have some kind of technical issue, so JP's camera stops working and we replace his face with a photo of him sucking his own toes.

So buckle up, grab a dino nugget like Cam McCaul, and prepare for an hour of bike talk, bad jokes, and self-deprecating wisdom only Gnar Couch could cook up. Don’t expect fitness tips, but do expect to walk away with a craving for Coors Light and a newfound appreciation for bush-landings. Dive in—you’ll regret nothing… or everything. 

 Guest info: Cam McCaul

Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month. We all ride TRP brakes. They're the best. Buy some. Thanks to crankbrothers and Hyland Cyclery for always keeping the bikes running. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, where mountain biking meets middle school humor, and none of our intros ever go according to plan—thanks in advance, Rob. This week, we welcome the one and only April Zastrow to the show: former pro motocross racer, mountain biking content creator, surfer, and the kind of human we’d totally trust around our children, if we weren’t such bad influences ourselves.

We saddle up and ride through April’s “mutt life” of action sports, her journey from nearly getting lapped in pro moto to inspiring future shredders (including Rob's daughter), and why bigger jumps aren’t as scary as small ones. We also plunge into the gnarly reality of being a woman in the MTB world, how she handles haters (spoiler: better than JP handles whiskey and the Old Rampate Site), and the science of bike squeaks, especially when Ryan Rodriguez is nearby.

Of course, things get off track: there’s talk of “dump trucks,” debates over whether Rob can leave his house without spilling beer, and our patented EXT/TRP appreciation rant. If you love deep dives into gear AND deep dives into our own self-esteem issues, you’re in the right spot. If not, just stick around for the part where we try to figure out if May June is a better name than April.

So tune in for bikes, bad jokes, a little self-deprecation, and a solid chance you’ll hear something about mayonnaise, wieners, or at least a brake lever pulled with someone’s pinky. It’s the Gnar Couch Podshow. Cumb for the chaos, stay for the dumb, and leave with fewer brain cells than you started.

Guest info: April Zastrow

Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month. We all ride TRP brakes. They're the best. Buy some. Thanks to crankbrothers and Hyland Cyclery for always keeping the bikes running. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

Welcome to the Gnar Couch Podshow, where mountain bikes, questionable humor, and barely functioning attention spans all pile onto a metaphorical homeless couch and roll down a metaphorical hill. This week, we’re joined by San Francisco legend and urban bike ninja Teddy Hayden, whose riding and viral videos have gotten him more attention from the Forest Service than Rob’s last attempt at a show intro (which, let’s be real, went about as well as a beer spill in Cheef’s lap).

We dig in on Teddy’s infamous $50,000 fine for shredding cliffs near the Golden Gate Bridge, the ongoing war between mountain bikers and government trail cops (spoiler: none of it could’ve just been an email), and a surprisingly passionate debate about which bike components we could live without (dropper posts and seats—are you brave enough?). There’s also a deep investigation into the true nutritional value of "pussy is low-carb," a couple wiener jokes, and the classic Gnar Couch running gag: Rob forgetting to wrap up the show and the eternal confusion about who’s actually supposed to write those episode descriptions.

If you’re here for serious bike technique or clean comedy, you’re outta luck. But if you want stories about human poop on trails, debates about Trader Joe’s ravioli, and a group of barely-adult hosts breaking down the finer points of mountain bike culture (with a little self-deprecating banter and bathroom humor), this episode is for you. Strap in, get ready to laugh at our expense, and prepare for at least one beer spill, a few botched intros, and possibly a confession or two that should never see daylight.

Guest info: Teddy Hayden

Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month. We all ride TRP brakes. They're the best. Buy some. Thanks to crankbrothers and Hyland Cyclery for always keeping the bikes running. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

JP showed up late tonight, most likely after seeing Cheef deadlift so much last week. We had absolutely no plan tonight so we made a top five list of the dumbest types of people. We talked about bikes for a little bit before completely devolving into one of the most Gnar Couchish Hour 2s in a long time. Silly banter mostly, with .69% actual insight.

Check out our store for sick shirts. Got to our Patreon and give us money. We've added old episodes, downloadable songs, and give you early access to raw, uncut shows for only $4.20/month. We all ride TRP brakes. They're the best. Buy some. Thanks to crankbrothers and Hyland Cyclery for always keeping the bikes running. Get 30% off BLIZ sunglasses and more with the code "sponchesmom".

Hot damn, welcome to episode 194 of the Gnar Couch Podshow, the only podcast where your IQ drops faster than a mountain biker with a whiskey throttle and daddy issues. No Jimmy tonight—he’s busy dealing with "morning sickness" or maybe he’s just constipated with his own bad takes. Meanwhile, Boston Rob is flexing a purple jersey like some kind of sexual lumberjack who lost a bet, and Cheef is singlehandedly keeping Protein Foundry in business—just to get shook down for a $10 shake and a guilt-tip at checkout.

Don’t worry, this episode has more awkward bottom jokes than a freshmen dorm, with JP running a full desktop in the back of his truck because technology stopped advancing the minute he started sniffing broken CRT glass as a kid. Our guest Normal MTBer basically drops in to remind you that every influencer is one concussion away from saying “yup, I guess this is my merch company now.”

If you’re new here, just know that Patreon gets you the stuff that’ll really get us cancelled—you want to hear about Normal MTBer getting DMs from hot moms, or maybe just the daily struggle of keeping your nutsack from sticking to your thighs. If you don’t, fuck it, keep listening anyway—it’s all downhill from here.

This is episode 194: Lower your expectations, slip into those banana hammocks, and pray to the Virgin Mary with her tits out, because the only thing tighter than Cheef’s wallet is the chain lube from Filthy.