We explore why taking your time at the start of a coaching session is one of the most powerful, and most frequently overlooked, skills in coaching. We unpack the common tendency for coaches, especially those under pressure or early in their practice, to leap toward solutions the moment a client states a goal. Through rich metaphors like the tandem bicycle, the pencil sharpener, and the Bake Off proving drawer, we show how deeper exploration at the outset creates clarity, focus, and stronger outcomes.

We link this slow, spacious beginning to the ICF competencies, highlighting why establishing and maintaining agreements requires more than simply naming a topic. The conversation also touches on the psychological drivers behind the rush to “get going,” including the TA hurry-up driver and the unconscious desire to appear helpful.

We share our three practical tips, as well as personal practices that help us stay grounded and intentional, from mindfulness to checking our internal drivers. It’s a thoughtful, encouraging conversation for any coach wanting to strengthen presence, clarity, and quality in their sessions.

Resources:

• Nancy Kline, “Time to Think” & “More Time to Think” (especially helpful for more experienced coaches)
• Claire Pedrick / 3D Coaching, Metaphors and practices for sharpening focus and staying client-led
• Emma Donaldson-Feilder & Liz Hall, Relational Mindfulness Programme

Paul Heardman, Article on supervision from a constellationist perspective in Coaching at Work

In this episode we explore how coaches can support clients who are dealing with a narcissistic boss. We unpack what narcissism truly means - beyond social media clichés - and discuss the difference between narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic tendencies that may still create toxic dynamics at work.

We highlight common signs that a client might be working for a narcissist, such as self-doubt, confusion, or feeling “never good enough,” and examine the systemic factors that can keep such leaders in place. We emphasise the importance of reflective practice and supervision to help coaches avoid collusion and remain grounded, especially when personal triggers or family histories come into play.

We offer practical strategies for helping clients manage these complex relationships, from strengthening boundaries and self-care to finding support outside the organisation. We also discuss when a more directive coaching style may be needed, and how compassion - for both client and boss - can bring balance and perspective to this challenging dynamic.

In this episode we unpack contracting as a living, multi-layered practice rather than a one-time formality.

We explore three distinct levels of contracting:

• Administrative – The essentials: when and where sessions happen, confidentiality agreements, cancellation terms, fees, and note-taking.
• Professional – Clarifying goals, purpose, scope, and whether to involve other parties such as a line manager or HR.
• Psychological – The unspoken relational agreements, unconscious patterns, and “felt sense” of the coaching space.

Drawing on real-world examples, we show how unconscious dynamics - such as parent-child patterns - can affect the work, and why Always Be Contracting (ABC) is such a useful mantra. We discuss practical ways to keep contracts alive, including naming ruptures in the relationship and agreeing upfront how to address them.

We also delve into psychological distance between coach, coachee, and organisational stakeholders, using the concept of the three cornered contract from Julie Hay. Rarely an equal-sided triangle, the shape reflects engagement levels and potential for collusion.

We discuss multi-stakeholder contracting: bringing all key parties (coach, coachee, sponsor/HR) together at the start and ideally again mid-way and at the end, to align on purpose, roles, confidentiality, and progress.

If you’ve only seen contracting as a tick-box exercise, this episode might change your view, and your practice.

Resources:

Three levels of contracting

Contracting in team coaching