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Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Grab my free mini-course

2. Work with me one-on-one

3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today

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Letting go of guilt after going no contact with a mother begins with understanding that the guilt is not truly yours, it’s rooted in codependency and enmeshment. Often, we feel responsible for someone else’s happiness or think we owe our mothers for what they gave us, even when that “giving” came with emotional harm. True freedom comes when you redefine how you deserve to be treated.

Going no contact is the first step, like stopping the bleeding, but real healing happens when you turn your attention inward. Establish safety with yourself, learn to care for your needs, trust your intuition, and set clear boundaries. As you practice self-respect and autonomy, the guilt fades. It’s not about forgiving or fixing your mother, it’s about reclaiming your life and cultivating a healthy, loving relationship with yourself.

In this episode, I answer your questions about estrangement, guilt, and healing from difficult mother-daughter relationships. We explore how to let go of guilt after going no contact, handle manipulation, and process grief when a mother has passed. Healing your mother wound isn’t about your mom, it’s about reclaiming your autonomy, setting boundaries, and creating a loving, supportive relationship with yourself.

"If you let go of somebody who doesn't treat you well, you're going to have to establish a new baseline of how you're treated." – Jennifer Arnise

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:17) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:04:31) Question 1: Letting go of guilt and worry after going no contact

(00:06:37) No contact isn’t the final step

(00:09:19) Question 2: What to do about a mother who manipulates you

(00:10:29) The desire to keep her happy

(00:12:33) Question 3: Healing after a traumatic relationship with a mother who has passed

(00:14:29) Why healing is about your autonomy

(15:22) The false sense of “debt” in traditional Black parenting

(17:08) Challenging the logic behind abusive dynamics

(19:25) Shifting how you see yourself

(21:00) The truth about going no contact

(23:17) No contact helping establish autonomy

(25:14) How history shaped Black parenting patterns

(27:04) You still have to do the work

Key Takeaways:

"Letting go of guilt and worry, no matter what the reason is, is the same."

"Shame and isolation has taught you that no one has gone through what you've gone through."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

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Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Join the waitlist for Resolve Live: Evolved — a real-time healing experience built to help you stop repeating the same patterns. We start December 7th. Don’t step into 2026 on the same energy from 2025. Get on the list and get ready for real change.

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How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Grab my free mini-course

2. Work with me one-on-one

3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today

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"How can you continue your healing while staying connected to a mother who hurt you, just so your child can know the love of a grandmother?"

Wanting your child to have a relationship with their grandmother is natural, but when that grandmother causes you pain, it becomes complicated. Holding onto the hope that your child can get what you didn’t may feel healing, but it can put them in the middle of adult wounds they cannot handle.

True love for your child is about protecting their emotional safety. It means letting go of fantasies, setting boundaries, and creating a circle of care built on authenticity and respect. Your child doesn’t need a perfect family to feel loved. They need a parent who sees them, values them, and models what healthy love looks like.

By doing this, you break the cycle and give your child something far greater than a relationship with a grandmother. You give them a foundation of real love and self-worth.In this episode, we explore the challenge of keeping a grandmother in your child’s life, even when that relationship has hurt you. I share why holding onto the fantasy of a “perfect family” can keep old wounds open and affect your child. We also discuss setting boundaries, creating emotional safety, and letting go of guilt around “missing grandparents” to break the cycle. Tune in to learn how to protect your children, honor your healing, and redefine what family really means.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:15) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:03:51) Healing while your child maintains a relationship with grandma

(00:07:04) The fantasy of the “perfect mother

(00:10:04) Hoping your mother will change through your kids

(00:16:06) The cost of the fantasy

(00:20:15) The illusion of “cute phases” with grandparents

(00:22:25) Choosing your child’s family intentionally

(00:24:11) Don’t assign authority to harmful adults

(00:27:16) Letting go of the fantasy of a fairytale family

(00:29:13) Stop projecting your fears onto your children

(00:31:08) Kids don’t necessarily need grandparents

(00:32:00) Come late and leave early

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound

Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Join the waitlist for Resolve Live: Evolved — a real-time healing experience built to help you stop repeating the same patterns. We start December 7th. Don’t step into 2026 on the same energy from 2025. Get on the list and get ready for real change.

***************************************

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Grab my free mini-course

2. Work with me one-on-one

3. Join RESOLVE On-Demand Today

***************************************

Growing up with a mother who couldn’t see your potential or value leaves a mark you carry for years. You start believing that the version of yourself she approves of is the only “right” version, abandoning your true self just to feel loved. That early conditioning shapes your self-esteem, your choices, and how you show up in the world.

Healing from this “mother wound” is about giving yourself the love and validation you didn’t get. It’s about creating a safe space for your inner child, embracing who you really are, and building your own foundation of worth. Even if she never saw you, you can see yourself, and that’s enough to start living your life on your own terms.

In this episode of The Black Mother Wound Podcast, we explore what it means to grow up without a mother who truly sees you, and how that shapes your self-worth, choices, and sense of self. I share how re-parenting yourself and creating a safe space for your inner child can help you step into your authentic self, even when that validation wasn’t given to you. We also touch on taking the first steps toward healing, letting yourself be seen, and building the confidence to live life on your own terms.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:21) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:01:48) Announcement: Resolve Evolved Live Program

(00:03:20) Growing up unseen by your mother

(00:06:14) The inner conflict between who you are and who she wanted you to be

(00:08:16) How conditional love impacts your life choices

(00:11:06) The cracked mirrors passed down

(00:13:05) Re-parenting yourself with care

(00:18:38) Healing is not a sprint

(00:20:30) Create safety for your inner child

(00:23:34) Expand your freedom and break restrictive patterns

(00:25:25) Claiming authentic achievement based on your true self

(00:28:34) Allowing your true self to shine

Key Takeaways:

"When you grow up with a mother who cannot see your innate value, you believe that you don't deserve certain things."

"The mother wound is a generational wound."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound

Support the show

Follow me on IG @jenniferarnise