What does it actually take to build a community where people feel safe enough to show up as themselves?

In this episode of The Awkward Handshake, we sit down with Polly Bilchuk and Oliver Dinero, the founders of Unlock Collective, to talk about how they’ve built one of Portland’s most trusted queer networking spaces.

This isn’t just about hosting events. It’s about designing a room with intention—who it’s for, how it feels, and what people are allowed to bring with them when they walk through the door.

We talk about how Unlock Collective came to life, why their quarterly format works, and what it really takes to create a space where connection isn’t forced… but it does happen.

If you’ve ever walked into a networking event and thought, “this isn’t for me…”
This episode shows what it looks like when it finally is.

In this episode, we talk about:

• How Unlock Collective got started and why it fills a real gap in Portland
• What makes a queer-centered networking space feel different
• Why intentional design matters more than just “getting people in a room”
• The power of hosting quarterly events instead of constant meetups
• How to create a space that feels safe, welcoming, and real
• Why community-building requires boundaries—not just openness
• What it means to build trust over time (and why that’s the real goal)

Meet the Guests

Polly Bilchuk + Oliver Dinero

Co-founders of Unlock Collective, bringing vision, structure, and thoughtful design to community experiences.

About Unlock Collective

Unlock Collective is a Portland-based queer networking community focused on creating intentional, welcoming spaces for connection.

Their events are designed to feel different (less transactional, more human) with a focus on trust, safety, and real conversation.

• Website
• Instagram

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What if networking isn’t something you turn on when you need a job…
but something you build for the rest of your life?

In this episode of The Awkward Handshake, we sit down with Dinesh Mathew, a business operations executive turned consultant, to talk about what actually makes someone a great networker and why it matters more now than ever.

This conversation goes beyond surface-level advice. We get into the realities of today’s job market, how networking has changed, and why the people who succeed aren’t always the loudest in the room… they’re the ones paying attention.

Dinesh shares how his background in market research shaped his approach to networking, why listening is an underrated superpower, and how thinking about your relationships like a portfolio can completely change how you show up.

If you’ve ever thought, “I’ll network when I need to…”
This episode might change your mind.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why networking is a forever skill, not a short-term tactic
• What’s really happening in today’s job market (and why it feels harder)
• The concept of a “warm network” — and why you can’t let it go cold
• How listening (not talking) makes you a better networker
• Why asking better questions changes everything
• What a “portfolio approach” to networking actually looks like
• The difference between online, local, and travel-based networking
• Why relationships (not resumes) are driving opportunities right now

Meet the Guest

Dinesh Mathew

Business operations executive, consultant, and expert facilitator with a background in market research, focus groups, and organizational strategy.

Dinesh specializes in helping companies improve operations, align leadership, and build systems that actually support growth—while bringing a deeply human approach to networking and relationship-building.

Connect with Dinesh:

• Website
• LinkedIn

Favorite Takeaway

You don’t build a network when you need it.
You build it so it’s there when life inevitably shifts.

Because in today’s world…
your network isn’t optional.

It’s infrastructure.

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What does it take to build a thriving community people actually want to show up for?

In this episode, we sit down with the co-founders of AI Portland, a fast-growing community that has brought together thousands of people around one of the biggest shifts in modern work and business: artificial intelligence.

But this conversation isn’t just about AI.

It’s about curiosity, community-building, networking, and what happens when two thoughtful people decide to start the thing instead of waiting until they feel “expert enough.”

We talk about how AI Portland got off the ground, what they’ve learned from organizing events at scale, how they source speakers, why diverse rooms matter, and what they’ve discovered about what people are really hungry for right now.

If you’ve ever thought, “Could I build something like that?” … this episode is for you.

In this episode, we talk about:

• How AI Portland got started from a simple conversation over wine
• Why you do not need to be an expert to start a community
• What makes an event feel welcoming, thoughtful, and worth coming back to
• How AI Portland grew into a 2,800+ person community
• Why people are craving in-person connection again
• How they choose event topics and source standout speakers
• What they’ve learned about building rooms with more diversity and intention
• Why having a “yes friend” can completely change your trajectory
• The importance of trying things before you overthink them into the grave

Meet the Guests

Megan Notarte

Technology team leader and co-founder of AI Portland, a community focused on demystifying generative AI and its real-world business applications.

Connect with Megan on LinkedIn

Nicole Mors

Product design leader, co-founder of AI Portland, and co-host of the podcast Supercharged by AI.

Connect with Nicole on LinkedIn

About AI Portland

AI Portland is a growing Portland-based community focused on helping people understand and explore artificial intelligence in practical, human, and accessible ways.

They host events, conversations, and gatherings for people across industries — whether you’re deep in tech, AI-curious, or just trying to figure out what the hell any of this means.

Check out upcoming AI Portland events:
https://www.aipdx.info/

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Looking for the best networking events in Portland? Wondering how to meet the right people without wasting time in awkward rooms that go nowhere?

In this episode of The Awkward Handshake, we talk with Dominic Kuklawood, creator of PortlandStartupEvents.com, an aggregated event calendar for entrepreneurs, founders, and professionals across the Portland startup ecosystem.

Dominic has a unique perspective on networking because he’s not just attending events… he’s tracking the entire landscape. From startup meetups to marketing events, he sees what’s working, what’s missing, and why there’s still more opportunity to build meaningful community.

We break down how to find the right networking events, why Portland is not oversaturated with events, and what actually makes a room worth showing up for.

If you’ve ever struggled with networking, felt like events were a waste of time, or didn’t know where to start, this episode will give you a clearer path forward.

What You’ll Learn

• How to find networking events in Portland (without relying on guesswork)
• Why there’s still demand for more startup and business events
• What makes a networking event successful vs. transactional
• How to meet better business connections and collaborators
• Why entrepreneurs often experience loneliness—and how events help solve it
• The difference between public networking events and private invite-only spaces
• A simple framework for hosting your own event (even if you’re not an expert)

Resources & Links

Portland Startup Events (Event Calendar):
https://PortlandStartupEvents.com

Connect with Dominic Kuklawood:
https://dataspeaks.ai/

Mentioned in This Episode

• Luma (event platform)
• E-Commerce Northwest
• NEXT NW
• Portland startup community events

Who This Episode Is For

• Entrepreneurs and founders in Portland
• Creators, freelancers, and consultants looking to grow their network
• Professionals tired of awkward or ineffective networking events
• Anyone looking to build real relationships in business

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What do you do when the room you need doesn’t exist?

You build it.

In this episode of The Awkward Handshake, Mary and Megan sit down with author, storyteller, and ghostwriter Jessie Kwak to talk about what it looks like to create the kind of community you wish you could find.

Jessie shares how she built a thriving writers’ community in Portland — one that started small, grew through trust and referrals, and now includes both a real-life backyard gathering and an active online Slack space. Along the way, she offers a thoughtful look at what makes communities work, why curated spaces matter, and how good people really do know other good people.

This conversation goes far beyond “start a Facebook group and hope for the best.”

It’s about intention.
It’s about trust.
And it’s about realizing that if the space you need isn’t out there yet… you may be the one meant to build it.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why curated communities often feel safer and more useful
• How Jessie’s writers’ group evolved from an in-person meetup into a larger Slack community
• What it takes to maintain trust in both physical and online spaces
• Why strong communities grow best through referrals and real relationships
• The difference between shallow promotion and meaningful collaboration
• How collaboration often takes longer than people expect
• Why networking can lead to friendships first and opportunities later
• The hidden labor of being the “mother hen” of a community
• What happens when you can’t find the room you need

Our Guest

Jessie Kwak is an author, storyteller, and business book ghostwriter based in Portland, Oregon. She writes thriller novels, science fiction, and nonfiction, and helps other writers bring their books to life through coaching and ghostwriting. She also hosts a vibrant writing community in Portland that has grown into a larger Pacific Northwest writers network.

https://www.jessiekwak.com/

Why this episode matters

If you’ve been waiting for the perfect room, the perfect group, or the perfect invitation… this episode is your reminder that sometimes the strongest move is to stop waiting.

Build the thing.
Invite the good people.
Let it grow from there.

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Small talk gets a bad reputation.

People love to say they hate it. They call it shallow, pointless, or awkward. But in reality, small talk is one of the most powerful social tools we have — especially in networking spaces.

In this episode of The Awkward Handshake, Mary and Megan unpack why small talk matters more than people think and how it acts as the social bridge that helps strangers move toward meaningful conversation.

Because before you get to the big ideas, the collaborations, and the business opportunities… you have to build comfort first.

And that’s where small talk shines.

Mary and Megan explore how small talk creates safety in a room, why it helps people regulate socially, and how it gives conversations somewhere to go. They also share why resisting small talk can actually make networking harder — not easier.

If you’ve ever felt awkward starting conversations at events or wondered how some people make networking look effortless, this episode will change how you think about the humble art of small talk.

In This Episode, We Talk About

• Why small talk is often misunderstood
• How small talk helps people feel safe in unfamiliar rooms
• The role small talk plays in building trust
• Why skipping small talk can make conversations feel abrupt
• How small talk opens the door to deeper connections
• The difference between transactional networking and relational networking
• Simple ways to get better at starting conversations

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Most networking advice tells you to perfect your elevator pitch.

But what if that’s the wrong place to start?

In this episode of The Awkward Handshake, Mary and Megan sit down with Kellen Moody to talk about why people are so much more than the one-line explanation of their business — and why the best networking conversations rarely start with a rehearsed pitch.

Kel brings a refreshing perspective on curiosity, connection, and the power of being a genuinely interesting human in professional spaces. Together, the three of them unpack how real relationships form, why curiosity is one of the most underrated networking skills, and how conversations become more meaningful when we let people show up as full humans instead of job titles.

If you’ve ever felt boxed in by the pressure to “deliver the perfect pitch,” this conversation might be the permission slip you didn’t know you needed.

Because the best rooms don’t reward the most polished pitch.

They reward the most human presence.

In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Why elevator pitches can sometimes shut down real conversation
• The role curiosity plays in building authentic connections
• How to ask better questions in networking settings
• Why being interesting matters more than sounding impressive
• The difference between transactional networking and relational networking
• How curiosity leads to stronger collaborations and referrals
• Why your personality and interests belong in the room too

Connect with our guest, Kellen Moody:

• Kel's Website
• Kel's LinkedIn

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In this episode of The Awkward Handshake, Mary and Megan unpack what a “Yes Friend” really is — and why finding one might have less to do with being social… and more to do with nervous system awareness.

What started as a conversation about building deeper friendships through networking turned into something bigger: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses… and how those stress patterns show up in business rooms when you’re trying to connect, stay grounded, and not accidentally agree to something you regret.

A Yes Friend isn’t just someone you like.
It’s someone who helps you get a better outcome in the room.

And yes — it’s work. The good kind.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why “Yes Friends” don’t just appear out of nowhere
• How fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses show up at networking events
• What it looks like to support a friend when they freeze or fawn
• The “emotional readiness weight class” idea — and why it matters
• Why some people disappear at events (and how that impacts trust)
• How to be an “exit buddy” and rescue each other from conversations gracefully
• The underrated power of small talk as social lubrication while your brain catches up
• Why networking can trigger intense emotions (even if you didn’t expect it)
• How being a connector creates compounding returns over time
• Why follow-up can save almost any awkward moment
• The truth: you can’t solve this only in your home office — you have to do reps in the real world

If you’ve ever wondered why networking feels harder than it “should,” this episode will give you a new lens — and a much kinder interpretation of your own behavior.

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