The Art of Managing Your Brain with Dr. Charlie M. Hornes Podcast Por Dr. Charlie M. Hornes DMin BCC MCPC arte de portada

The Art of Managing Your Brain with Dr. Charlie M. Hornes

The Art of Managing Your Brain with Dr. Charlie M. Hornes

De: Dr. Charlie M. Hornes DMin BCC MCPC
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The Art of Managing Your Brain

System Strategy for Women Misnamed as the Problem

You’ve been called too intense. Too emotional.

Too sensitive. Too cold.

Too kind. Too reactive.

Too difficult. Too accommodating.

Too much.

And somehow—still expected to carry more.

The system was never built for women who see what’s wrong before it explodes.

So when you react? They misname it.

When you speak up? They call it a problem.

When you say “something feels off”? They tell you to calm down.

What most people label as “not being able to hack it” is usually just a survival instinct—one you were never taught how to manage.

This podcast gives you what no one else will:

  • Not mindset resets.
  • Not mantras or mood boards.
  • Not another list of what you should be doing differently.

Because let’s be honest: You’ve already tried that.

And none of it tells you what to do when it actually hits.

What if this sounds like you?

  • Your brain bolts before you even know why.
  • Your voice disappears the second you need it most.
  • Your fight instinct pops off—then you spiral in guilt.
  • You vanish before the drama even starts.

This isn’t failure. It’s instinct.

And it’s time you finally understood what yours is trying to do.

It kicks in before you can explain it.

  • The shutdown that buys you time—but costs you the truth.
  • The fake yes you gave because it wasn’t safe to say no.
  • The snap-back you regret… even though they had it coming.

You saw it coming.

But they’ve trained you to second-guess—because calling you “too sensitive” is easier than admitting you were right.

Or maybe it’s that eerie calm—the one that shows up while they’re still pretending everything’s fine. But you already know how this ends—and it’s not worth sticking around for.

Whatever shape it takes—there’s a name for it.

And it’s not failure.

It’s instinct.

Each one shows up differently. But they all have one thing in common:

They’ve been working hard to protect you—but nobody ever taught you how to manage them.

Hosted by Dr. Charlie M. Hornes, DMin, BCC, MCPC

Board-Certified Clinical Strategist and creator of the Survival Instinct Archetypes.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

  • What to do when your nervous system locks the door before you know what’s wrong
  • How to speak when people-pleasing flattens your voice
  • Why your brain tracks danger early—and how to use that as strategy
  • How to name the setup that makes you doubt your intelligence
  • What it takes to stop misreading your survival as failure

Start here:

Take the free Survival Instinct Archetype Quiz: https://www.charliehornescoaching.com/quiz

Then come back here.

We’ll teach you how to manage the part of your brain that’s always blamed—but rarely understood.

New episodes weekly.

Bring your instinct.

Not your apology.

The Charlie Hornes Coaching Studio, LLC
Desarrollo Personal Economía Exito Profesional Higiene y Vida Saludable Psicología Psicología y Salud Mental Éxito Personal
Episodios
  • Other People Don’t Control Your Feelings | Conflict, Criticism & Gossip | E61
    Oct 3 2025
    Workplace conflict, criticism, gossip, and survival instincts — why your brain reacts like it’s under attack, and how to stop letting others run your day. Other people do not create how you feel. That’s the central truth of this episode. In 2025, we’re still walking into offices, churches, and family dinners as if survival depends on defending against every comment or criticism. Your brain is wired for safety, not harmony. Unless you learn to challenge your thoughts, you’ll keep outsourcing your peace to people who were never in charge of your emotions. In this episode you’ll learn: Why criticism feels dangerous (and why it made sense in tribal times). How gossip destroys trust even when it feels harmless. Why people pleasing (the Fox reflex) leaves you drained. The neuroscience of why “Bob in Accounting” feels like a saber-toothed tiger. How to challenge your thoughts and move from emotional immaturity to emotional adulthood. You’ll leave with practical tools to coach yourself in the moment, stop letting other people dictate your day, and reclaim your power. Highlight Quote: “Nobody’s getting eaten in your office. Stop acting like they are.” Chapters (with Real Timestamps + Descriptive Keywords) 00:00:02 – The Core Truth | Why other people don’t create your thoughts or feelings 00:01:01 – Why This Matters in 2025 | Miscommunication, workplace tension, and survival reflexes 00:03:28 – Criticism as Survival Strategy | The fence, the tribe, and saber-toothed tiger logic 00:08:54 – Bob in Accounting vs. a Bear | Why your brain can’t tell the difference 00:12:22 – People Pleasing Explained | The Fox reflex and why saying “yes” drains you 00:13:13 – Gossip’s Hidden Harm | How lunch-hour talk dehumanizes coworkers 00:17:43 – Thoughts Are Not Facts | Why most of what you think can’t be proven 00:22:19 – Nobody’s Getting Eaten at Work | The survival reflex hijack explained 00:28:33 – Emotional Adulthood | How to challenge your thoughts in real time 00:39:18 – Thought Work That Changes Lives | From resentment to resilience 00:42:59 – The Big Question | When will you stop letting others decide your day? 00:43:32 – Tools for Change | Survival Guides, quiz, and coaching support 00:44:17 – Closing Reminder | Stop handing your power to other people Highlight Quotes “Your brain doesn’t know the difference between Bob in Accounting and a bear.” “Other people don’t create how you feel. Your brain does.” “Nobody’s getting eaten in your office. Stop acting like they are.” “Criticism feels dangerous because your survival brain thinks safety is at stake.” “The clash isn’t personal. It’s wiring.” Questions This Episode Answers Why do I take criticism at work so personally? How does gossip affect trust at work and in relationships? How do I stop people pleasing when I know it’s draining me? How can I stop letting coworkers or family ruin my day? What is emotional adulthood vs. emotional immaturity? How does the survival brain cause workplace conflict? What is the neuroscience behind overreacting to stress? This episode breaks down emotional maturity and immaturity, how survival instincts drive workplace conflict, gossip, and people pleasing, why criticism feels personal, and what brain science and emotional intelligence can teach us about managing emotions at work, building resilience, and moving from survival reflexes into real emotional adulthood. For more: Take the FREE Survival Instinct Quiz: https://charliehornescoaching.com/quiz Confirm your Survival Instinct Archetype and grab a cinematic cheatsheet with first steps to insight and results. Free! And learn more about your customized toolkit. Find YOUR Survival Instinct Archetype Episode Below or binge them all! The Fight Instinct - Lion Archetype https://youtu.be/yEpql4mXYUE The Flight Instinct - Deer Archetype https://youtu.be/n4vK4_ygX5o The Freeze Instinct — Owl Archetype https://youtu.be/VEt4LKeTWEk The Fawn Instinct — Fox Archetype https://youtu.be/bYDOYgAXkOY The Seek Instinct — Panther Archetype https://youtu.be/Mf804KS8J9c Full Survival Instinct Series Playlist https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLydviSJ3yTA8UpwUqOmNwfTQnzkbhyA2t Resources: Fox | Fawning Instinct Digital Edition Survival Guide has dropped! All my Foxes - grab it here: https://charliehornescoaching.com/guides Want to apply for my my private, tailored coaching packages? These are customised for your specific story and instinct archetype. Apply here now to see if you would be a good match. I have opened a few private seats for the upcoming start date. Apply now: https://charliehornescoaching.com/book #WorkplaceConflict #EmotionalMaturity #SurvivalInstincts
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    45 m
  • The Hidden Burnout No One Admits | Why High-Functioning Women Feel Like They’re Failing | E60
    Sep 12 2025
    The Hidden Burnout No One Admits | Why High-Functioning Women Feel Like They’re Failing | E60 You look fine on the outside. Inside, you’re replaying the same mistake at 2AM, wondering if you’re failing. This episode exposes why high-functioning women doubt themselves when the system is the problem. Here’s what you’ll hear • Why being the “strong one” leaves you exhausted and invisible • How exhaustion gets mislabeled as weakness instead of system failure • The real reason your body panics before anyone else notices the problem • Why women who look in control secretly wonder if they’re falling apart • The survival reflex that makes you second-guess your own clarity This isn’t mindset talk. It’s survival science built for women carrying impossible loads in systems that punish honesty and reward overfunctioning. If you’ve ever thought, “I can’t let anyone see how bad this feels,” this episode shows you why that reaction is wired in—and how to stop confusing survival with failure. Chapters 00:00:00 Hook — Your body reacts before your brain 00:00:33 Default reflexes show up faster than thought 00:01:46 The problem with criticism and useless advice 00:04:11 Reflex is biology, not identity 00:05:47 Why interrupting the reflex feels impossible 00:06:01 Intro — Dr. Charlie Hornes + ICA framing 00:06:31 Feeling the room shift 00:07:14 Internship story + “pointy elbows” pastor 00:08:55 Blindsided by silence, tone, or pressure 00:10:13 Classic freeze, fawn, flight reactions 00:12:03 Career in dysfunctional systems 00:12:59 Archetypes explained — Owl (freeze) 00:13:41 Fight/Flight/Fawn thrown away as clichés 00:14:44 Double violence defined 00:17:38 Why information alone never helps 00:18:22 Each archetype is a club, not a flaw 00:19:26 Double violence stacked: blindsided + blamed 00:21:07 Naming the five reflexes 00:21:46 Lion — Fight 00:22:56 Deer — Flight 00:23:58 Owl — Freeze 00:25:57 Fox — Fawn 00:27:09 How to say “no” as a Fox (“I’m tied up”) 00:31:21 Toolkit + quiz CTAs 00:34:15 Story — mentors refusing to cosign victimhood 00:36:17 Systemic dysfunction rewires the brain 00:38:21 Doctoral research — women in hostile environments 00:41:13 Transformational confrontation story 00:44:36 Pain turns inward → service pulls you out 00:45:46 Why we can’t cosign victimhood 00:47:02 Kindness ≠ Niceness 00:50:04 Toxic platitude: “everything happens for a reason” 00:51:49 Panther archetype — Seeker defined 00:54:27 Prone to gaslighting + self-doubt 00:57:25 Gaslighting erodes reality perception 01:00:34 Panthers detect mismatch faster than others 01:02:46 Reflexes shaped by environment 01:05:27 Mary Magdalene sermon story 01:06:36 Criticism for preaching women in scripture 01:07:43 Example of winning a fight — rare reflex win 01:11:08 Biology — amygdala fires before prefrontal cortex 01:13:09 Story — church admin refuses aid to homeless man 01:15:49 Homework assignment — identify default reflex 01:18:21 Label reflex vs. identity 01:20:11 Practice pause and self-differentiation 01:22:00 How to retrain reflex with reps 01:23:03 Catch the ugly self-talk 01:25:06 Quiz + cheat sheet CTA 01:26:04 Toolkits + limited-time offer 01:27:30 Closing — it’s instinct, not weakness For more: Take the FREE Survival Instinct Quiz: https://charliehornescoaching.com/quiz Confirm your Survival Instinct Archetype and grab a cinematic cheatsheet with first steps to insight and results. Free! And learn more about your customized toolkit. Find YOUR Survival Instinct Archetype Episode Below or binge them all! The Fight Instinct - Lion Archetype https://youtu.be/yEpql4mXYUE The Flight Instinct - Deer Archetype https://youtu.be/n4vK4_ygX5o The Freeze Instinct — Owl Archetype https://youtu.be/VEt4LKeTWEk The Fawn Instinct — Fox Archetype https://youtu.be/bYDOYgAXkOY Full Survival Instinct Series Playlist https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLydviSJ3yTA8UpwUqOmNwfTQnzkbhyA2t Tags for this episode include: why high functioning women feel like failing, women misdiagnosed with burnout, survival instinct archetypes lion deer owl fox panther, toxic positivity everything happens for a reason, invisible strong woman exhaustion, survival instinct toolkit for women. #survivalinstincts #highfunctioningwomen #burnout
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    1 h y 28 m
  • The Moment You Think It’s You | Survival Instincts & First Clues of Stress Response | E59
    Sep 4 2025
    The Moment You Think It’s You | Survival Instincts & First Clues of Stress Response Survival instincts fire before thought. If you’ve ever felt a quick “something’s off” in your body, that flicker isn’t something "wrong"—it’s a signal. A warning shot In this episode, Dr. Charlie M. Hornes explains how the five instinct patterns—fight, flight, freeze, fawn, seek— show up in daily life, why they get misread as weakness, and how to spot the first clue your system is flagging it first. Take the free Survival Instinct Quiz to see whether you lead with Lion (Fight), Deer (Flight), Owl (Freeze), Fox (Fawn), or Panther (Seek). What You’ll Learn Why instinct is not identity How your nervous system responds before your brain “catches up”The meaning of that first body “yuck” as a helpful early alertHow to start with noticing—not fixing Takeaways Survival instincts are fast, protective patterns.Fight • Flight • Freeze • Fawn • Seek = preloaded reflexes.The first clue is subtle—treat it as data, not self-blame.Gentle awareness builds choice in the moment. Chapters 00:00:00 – First Clue: The Body’s Alert That flicker of “something’s off” is your survival instinct, not failure. 00:02:12 – Welcome + Series Context Introduction to the 6-part arc reframing instinct as intelligence. 00:03:00 – The Five Instinct Patterns Explained Fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and seek—reflexes, not flaws. 00:08:34 – Survival Instinct Quiz Invitation How to discover your archetype and separate self from reflex. 00:10:19 – The Paradigm Shift: It’s Not You Mismatch signals are precision, not pathology. 00:12:14 – The Lion Example: Fight Reflex in Action “Clap back” is protection, not aggression. 00:14:27 – The Deer Example: Flight as Boundary Mastery Exiting early as a form of preservation. 00:15:53 – The Owl Example: Freeze Reflex Demystified Stillness as intel gathering, not weakness. 00:19:22 – The Fox Example: Fawn and People-Pleasing Appeasement as room-calming survival intelligence. 00:22:22 – The Panther Example: Seek and Forecasting Early detection as forecasting, not paranoia. 00:27:16 – Hurricane Metaphor: System Forces at Play Storm systems mirror converging reflex pressures. 00:29:00 – Differentiating Self from Reflex Your reflex is a pet beside you, not your identity. 00:32:58 – Training the Animal Reflex Why training instinct matters more than erasing it. 00:36:40 – Childhood Origins of Instinct How early environments shape dominant reflexes. 00:40:42 – Story from Ministry Leadership Recognizing freeze as instinct, not failure. 00:46:27 – Weekly Practice: Spotting the Flicker Track the yuck before reflex; label it “first clue.” 00:48:57 – Toolkit + Resources Mention Where to find survival toolkits and resources. 00:50:15 – Homework + Reflection Practice separating the body flicker from blame. 00:51:09 – Next Week’s Episode Preview Naming the reflex—why language shifts power. Sound Bites “That flicker isn’t failure. It’s your radar working.”“This isn’t about identity. It’s about instinct.”“The first clue isn’t collapse—it’s precision in disguise.” For more: Take the FREE Survival Instinct Quiz: https://charliehornescoaching.com/quiz Confirm your Survival Instinct Archetype and grab a cinematic cheatsheet with first steps to insight and results. Free! And learn more about your customized toolkit. Find YOUR Survival Instinct Archetype Episode Below or binge them all! The Fight Instinct - Lion Archetype https://youtu.be/yEpql4mXYUE The Flight Instinct - Deer Archetype https://youtu.be/n4vK4_ygX5o The Freeze Instinct — Owl Archetype https://youtu.be/VEt4LKeTWEk The Fawn Instinct — Fox Archetype https://youtu.be/bYDOYgAXkOY Full Survival Instinct Series Playlist https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLydviSJ3yTA8UpwUqOmNwfTQnzkbhyA2t #survivalinstincts #stressresponse #fightflightfreeze survival instincts, fight flight freeze fawn seek, stress response patterns, nervous system cues, emotional intelligence, misdiagnosed burnout, high-functioning women, stress reflex biology, survival archetype quiz
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    54 m
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