Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers

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  • Parent-teen researcher Andy Earle talks with various experts about the art and science of parenting teenagers. Find more at www.talkingtoteens.com
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  • Ep 335: What Disabled Parents Can Teach Everyone

    Ep 335: What Disabled Parents Can Teach Everyone
    Apr 22 2025
    Jessica Slice, author of Unfit Parent, shares her profound insights and experiences on disability and parenting, breaking down stereotypes, addressing ableism, and showing what disabled parents can teach us all about resilience, adaptability, and embracing life's challenges.Full Show NotesIn our conversations around parenting, we often have a narrow definition of what abilities and physical capacities are required to be a “good” parent. From movies and advertisements portraying mothers and fathers effortlessly multitasking and holding toddlers on their hip, to parenting talks describing the chaos of carpool lines and daily errands, the portrait of parenting we encounter every day seems to leave out those with disabilities or physical limitations. As a parent, what do you do when your experiences don’t match up with these cultural representations? How can each of us benefit from broadening our understanding of what it truly means to be an effective caregiver?In today’s insightful episode, we're joined by writer and disability advocate Jessica Slice, author of Unfit Parent: A Disabled Mother Challenges an Inaccessible World. Jessica became disabled at age 28 and has experienced firsthand how our cultural perceptions about motherhood often exclude people with disabilities. Through her writing and advocacy, she passionately argues that disabled parents have powerful insights to offer all parents, and she exposes the ableism and biases in parenting culture. Jessica’s eye-opening perspectives invite us to consider how embracing a broader definition of parenting can benefit everyone.What Disabled Parents Can Teach All of UsEarly in our conversation, Jessica describes how attending a typical parenting talk left her feeling like an imposter because none of the descriptions matched her own parenting reality. In writing openly about her experience, Jessica discovered a community of disabled parents who shared similar feelings. But what began as a revealing essay soon transformed into a broader mission: to show how disabled parents actually contribute unique abilities and insights to parenting.Jessica points out how disabled people grow adept at solving practical day-to-day problems surrounding movement, food, rest, and more. Such problem-solving skills translate directly into caring for a newborn, making disabled parents often surprisingly adept at navigating early parenthood. Moreover, disabled parents have already learned powerful lessons in letting go of expectations, embracing uncertainty, and adapting to changing circumstances—qualities that deeply serve all parents as they navigate the complexities of raising children.Ableism and Our Culture of Fear Around DisabilityJessica thoughtfully unpacks ableism: the deep-seated, often unconscious biases and fears that lead society to view disability through a lens of pity or disdain. She explores how ableism shapes everything from medical care to reproductive rights—and even the way parenting itself is structured and evaluated.One of the episode’s most fascinating discussions focuses on Jessica’s research around early transitions into parenthood for non-disabled families versus disabled families. Remarkably, Jessica discovered that disabled parents tend to adjust far more easily and report fewer incidences of postpartum depression—despite often facing greater physical health challenges. She explains how our cultural fear of disability makes this early period harder for non-disabled parents: society conditions us to dread having bodies that are weak, fragile, or dependent on others. Disabled parents, meanwhile, have already accepted and adapted to these realities, making the transition less shocking and chaotic.Overcoming Barriers in Parenting SystemsThroughout our interview, Jessica candidly describes how social systems and institutions—from reproductive health practices to the foster care system—are often ill-equipped for disabled people. She discusses the enormous challenges and fears disabled parents face when navigating the foster adoption process, including inaccessible mandatory classes and intense scrutiny about physical fitness to parent. Despite these obstacles, Jessica demonstrates the incredible resourcefulness and creativity that disabled parents show in developing customized solutions for caring for their families.Jessica’s story about becoming a parent through fostering and surrogacy illustrates poignantly both the systemic barriers disabled people face and their impressive capacity to advocate for themselves, adapt, and thrive. She insists that disabled parents' lives are not tragedies to be pitied; instead, they exemplify adaptability, patience, and the courage to embrace life’s unpredictability.In the Episode…Beyond these deeply insightful conversations, our discussion with Jessica covers much more, including:How Jessica's disability shifted her perspective from striving and achievement to genuine contentmentThe ...
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    22 m
  • Ep 334: How Music Shapes Teen Minds and Moods

    Ep 334: How Music Shapes Teen Minds and Moods
    Apr 13 2025
    Sara and Morton Sherman, authors of Resonant Minds, reveal how parents can use music intentionally to build stronger connections with teens, navigate emotions, and support adolescent development.Full Show NotesIn a fast-paced world flooded by digital distractions, it's sometimes difficult for parents to understand how to connect more closely with their teens. We might even wonder: Is music helping or distracting teens? They have their headphones on non-stop, but what music are they listening to, and why does it mean so much to them? Music is consistently present throughout teen culture, providing emotional refuge, identity reinforcement, and sometimes, a channel to express thoughts that might otherwise remain unspoken. But as parents, educators, and caregivers, how can we intentionally use music as a communication tool to foster emotional growth, mindfulness, and stronger family connections?In this week's conversation, we explore how music isn't just entertainment or background noise—it's a powerful gateway to teen emotions and a key to deeper family relationships when used mindfully and intentionally.Our guests this week, Sara Leila Sherman and Morton Sherman, authors of the new book Resonant Minds: The Transformative Power of Music, One Note at a Time, help parents explore ways to better understand and support their teens through music. Sara is a classical musician, educator, and founder of the children's concert series Mozart for Munchkins and the Little Mozart Foundation, while Morton is an esteemed educational leader renowned for visionary contributions in teaching and leadership. They're here to offer insight into the rich possibilities music provides for building emotional awareness, mindfulness, and family connections.How Music Shapes Emotions and MindsetSara and Mort explain that teenagers spend up to four hours a day on average listening to music—but not always intentionally or thoughtfully. Music, they explain, is always working subtly to influence our emotions. Intentionally choosing music can help teens shift their emotional state, whether they want to reduce stress, lift their mood, or even find calm and concentration. Sara reveals how a simple piece of music can help teens reach a calmer mindset or even create safe emotional exploration.Sara shares practical tips on how parents can help teens become more purposeful listeners. Asking teens to select songs as a mood-boosting family activity, for example, can create an emotional dialogue and a stronger familial bond. But this practice takes patience and openness—forcing teens to turn off their music or forbidding certain genres won’t work and can backfire quickly. The real key, the Shermans explain, is to let music serve as a platform for conversations, connections, and ultimately self-discovery.Using Music for Mindfulness and Family HarmonySara highlights examples from her workshops, where music paired with mindful practices helps students handle anxiety or self-consciousness during challenging moments. Simple exercises, like breathing along with the rhythm of a carefully-selected piece of music, can significantly relieve tension. Additionally, choosing family music traditions or routines—like designating a specific artist or playlist to accompany certain tasks like homework, chores, or winding down—can set helpful rhythms for the entire family's daily routine.Mort emphasizes that music isn’t just about individual wellbeing, but also about building community and understanding. He suggests that instead of shutting down teens’ interests or dismissing music they appreciate but parents might find unsettling, we can choose to engage in it as an educational and bonding opportunity. Redirecting potentially negative influences requires a careful conversational approach, built on trust, respect, and dialogue. By showing respectful curiosity about their music choices, we not only acknowledge their emerging independence, we also reinforce healthy decision-making skills.Cultivating Positive Musical HabitsThe Shermans encourage parents and teens alike to develop “mindful musical habits” to promote emotional regulation and balance. Sara explains how picking anchoring pieces of music—those we connect strongly with and that reliably help us feel grounded—can become positive habits in both teens' and parents' daily landscapes. Mort adds the importance of experimenting and discovering what works best for each individual family member, reminding parents that music choice is deeply personal, and what works for one may not resonate for all. Mutual respect in listening develops lifelong learning, understanding, and family closeness.Mort also suggests playful, simple family activities, like guessing songs by tapping rhythms, sharing musical memories from each generation, or collectively creating family playlists, can extend bonding experiences. These intentional rituals turn fleeting family moments into treasured memories, layered with ...
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    24 m
  • Ep 333: Finding Joy and Humor in Parenting Teens

    Ep 333: Finding Joy and Humor in Parenting Teens
    Apr 6 2025

    William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, authors of The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-driven Child, share how parents can build connection, support autonomy, set healthy expectations, and create more joy and calm in family life.

    Full Show Notes

    As our children grow into teenagers, parents often find themselves uncertain about how deeply to intervene. We know our kids need our involvement and guidance, but teenagers also crave autonomy and independence. Teens often appear distant and difficult, getting frustrated when we try to help solve their problems, yet feeling hurt when we don't show enough interest. Add stress about school, extracurriculars, and the future into the mix, and family life can quickly spiral into frequent conflict, anxiety, and disconnection.

    How can we give our teenagers the steady presence they need without micromanaging or inadvertently amplifying their stress? What does being a relaxed, positive, and supportive parent actually look like in daily practice? How can we inspire our teens to be driven, motivated, and self-directed without resorting to threats, bribes, or constant reminders?

    Today's guests, William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, offer compassionate, practical solutions from their new book, The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-driven Child. Bill is a clinical neuropsychologist, and Ned is the founder of Prep Matters. After two bestselling books on parenting and educational motivation, their latest interactive workbook provides powerful exercises and reflective prompts to help parents foster resilience, autonomy, and joy in their families. Together, Bill and Ned show how parents can become calm, confident leaders who empower teens rather than push or control them.

    Building a Calm and Confident Parental Presence

    Bill and Ned share why being a calm, non-anxious presence is one of the most powerful ways to support our teens. Rather than reflecting back our children's stress or adding to it with our own worries, they recommend setting the goal of becoming less emotionally reactive. Bill and Ned offer practical strategies, including meditation and cognitive practices, to train ourselves out of fear-based interactions. This calm approach reinforces teens' belief that they can handle life's ups and downs without parents needing to intervene constantly.

    Healthy Expectations vs. Anxiety-Driven Pressure


    How high should parents set their expectations? Bill and Ned dive deep into how expectations can provide either healthy motivation or become harmful sources of anxiety. They remind parents that expressing gentle confidence—that our teens are capable if they work at something—is far healthier and more motivating than demanding perfect outcomes. Bill and Ned reveal thoughtful ways to assess and realign your family's expectations around what truly matters to you and your teen.


    Using Joy and Humor to Connect

    It's easy for family life with teens to center solely around problems to solve—grades, chores, social relationships—leaving everyone exhausted and joyless. In this episode, Ned and Bill emphasize why prioritizing joyful family rituals like Friday movie nights, outings, or humor-filled interactions are so essential. By carving out time simply to enjoy and laugh together, you communicate that your child's presence is valued and loved unconditionally, no matter the stressors you face.


    Helping Teens Discover Their Own Path

    Many teens feel overwhelmed by other people's expectations—parents, teachers, coaches—and lose sight of what they truly want or care about. Bill and Ned offer profound insights into how to ask non-threatening, reflective questions about what teens genuinely love and value. Learning to help your teens identify their intrinsic motivators rather than external pressures is vital to building lifelong skills and confidence.


    In this Episode, we also discuss

    • Talking to teens about their core values
    • The surprising importance of "passionate pastimes"
    • Addressing perfectionism and self-criticism
    • Strategies to parent anxiety-prone or avoidant teens

    If you're looking for proven approaches to calm anxiety around parenting teens and foster self-driven motivation, you won't want to miss Bill and Ned's tested wisdom. Their thoughtful, compassionate insights help every parent gracefully navigate the teenage years. Listen now, and make sure to subscribe and share!
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    25 m
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shoving progressive views

around my third episode in, the progressive views started spewing in. don't waste your time. all he does is talk to experts but doesn't offer insight

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As always, right one the spot content!

a great interview about a critical topic for teens, parents and teachers. this addiction kills every day!

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