We’re revisiting a classic — and for longtime listeners, a foundational topic: the Tolerations List. These are the small, nagging things we put up with every day — the crooked picture, the squeaky door, the wrong clock time — that quietly drain our focus and energy. Pete and Nikki first talked about tolerations all the way back in episode 106, and a decade later, they’re still finding new lessons in this deceptively simple coaching exercise.

In this episode, they explore how tolerations evolve over time and how ADHD brains are especially vulnerable to letting them pile up. Nikki brings fresh perspective from her early coaching school days, where the idea originated as a way to identify and release mental clutter. They dive into how tolerations become invisible over time — from broken stove knobs and unpainted bathrooms to window coverings that never got ordered. Together they unpack the emotional undercurrent of these seemingly minor annoyances: why we live with them, how we rationalize them, and what it means to decide which ones are worth fixing versus simply accepting.

They also revisit one of their most endearing long-running debates: is it a toleration or a project? From broken dishwashers to cluttered garages, they draw the line between avoidance, acceptance, and intentional deferral. And, in true ADHD fashion, they discuss how everything feels urgent — until you realize that not everything is.

By the end, Pete and Nikki offer a practical guide to managing tolerations using the GPS Planning color system: identifying red (urgent), green (important), and blue (non-urgent) tasks, and intentionally tackling the ones that genuinely lighten your cognitive load. You’ll learn how to make the invisible visible, how to reclaim small pockets of energy, and how to let go — compassionately — of the things that no longer deserve your bandwidth.

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:23) - Support the Show on Patreon!
• (02:50) - Tolerations
• (21:53) - Tracking and Prioritizing Tolerations

This week, we’re talking about what it means to be both introverted and ADHD, and how those two identities can collide—or beautifully harmonize—when you finally understand yourself. Our guest is Kyrus Keenan Westcott, better known as Ky, the creator behind The Vibe With Ky. With more than 1.5 million followers across TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook, Ky has become a leading voice for ADHD awareness, mental health, and the art of adulting without apology.

Ky joins Pete and Nikki to share his story of a late ADHD diagnosis at age 35—how it reshaped his understanding of his past, and how he processed it through stages of grief, anger, and acceptance. We talk about what it means to find peace after years of wondering, “If I had only known sooner.”

Then we dig into introversion. Ky helps us debunk the myths—no, being an introvert doesn’t mean you hate people, and it’s not the same as social anxiety. It’s about energy: how you spend it, how you recover it, and how to protect it through healthy boundaries. From managing “introvert guilt” to learning the beauty of traveling solo and saying no without shame, Ky brings humor and humanity to the experience of living quietly in a loud world.

Oh, and yes—there’s Gilmore Girls talk. Plus, Ky reveals his brand-new fragrance collaboration: “Why Did I Walk Into This Room?”, a cherry-pie-and-cinnamon scent honoring the spirit of adult ADHD.

If you’ve ever wrestled with the feeling that you’re “too quiet,” “too tired,” or “too late,” this episode will remind you that your timing and your energy are perfect—just the way they are.

Links & Notes

• Why Did I Walk Into This Room? collaboration with The Vibe With Ky
• The Vibe With Ky
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:40) - Introducing Kyrus Keenan Wescott
• (11:42) - Introversion
• (36:14) - Ky's ADHD Fragrance!

When Dr. Nachi Felt first joined us, he introduced two big ideas that stuck with a lot of listeners—the Cycle of Ambiguity and the Cycle of Agency. Those conversations gave language to what so many of us experience every day with ADHD: the frustration of getting stuck, and the relief that comes when we finally start moving again.

This time, Nachi is back to take the next step forward with something new: the Cycle of Accountability. It’s not about guilt or discipline or “holding yourself to higher standards.” It’s about what happens when you stop treating accountability like punishment and start seeing it as connection—to your values, to your sense of purpose, to the people who matter to you.

Together, we dig into how meaning drives motivation for ADHD brains, why avoidance feels so sneaky and familiar, and how the smallest acts of self-acceptance can spark real change. Along the way, Nachi talks about trauma, growth, and what it means to finally believe that you matter enough to take ownership of your own story.

Links & Notes

• Clearheaded by Dr. Nachi Felt • Sign up and get the introduction to the new book right now!
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:12) - Support the Show: Https://patreon.com/theadhdpodcast
• (02:04) - Introducing Dr. Nachi Felt
• (04:08) - The Cycle of Ambiguity
• (22:10) - The Cycle of Accountability
• (44:21) - Clearheaded by Dr. Nachi Felt