Our host, Asha Dore, talks with Amanda McCracken about her 2026 book, When Longing Becomes Your Lover published by Worthy Books
Find it here: https://www.amazon.com/When-Longing-Becomes-Your-Lover/dp/1546008535/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0
About the book: Journalist and late-in-life virgin Amanda McCracken dated over 100 men by the time she was in her late thirties. She was so certain she was doing everything she could to find the loving, lasting relationship she wanted. So why wasn't it working? After another breakdown in her therapist's office, she came to a startling realization: she was addicted to longing.
This realization was part of a 10-year journey to understand the cultural, neurological, and psychological factors that shaped her beliefs about love, sex, and commitment. She began to understand that longing for someone feels good. It can even feel better than being in a secure relationship. Longing can provide a sense of control when life is uncertain and offers a safe place to hide from emotional vulnerability, especially in today's online dating and hookup world. But longing can trigger an addictive neurochemical boost that can derail us from forming healthy, intimate relationships.
In this searingly honest book, Amanda shares the crushes, relationships, situationships, travel, friendships, hookups, bad dates, wins, losses, and brushes with fate that came with her journey. Starting with her early childhood hero fantasies and how they evolved in her tween and teen years into a commitment to the purity movement espoused at her church, she chronicles her profound longing for love that led her to her lowest point. She provides a deep, exploratory look into the state of mind known as limerence: an obsessive rumination on an idealized version of someone. Amanda weaves together her personal journey with research, storytelling, soul-searching questions, and quotes from experts and nonexperts alike to reveal the addictive nature of longing while providing hope through her journey of breaking her patterns and ultimately choosing the path towards healthy, authentic intimacy.
About the author: Amanda McCracken is a journalist and the host of the podcast The Longing Lab. Her TEDx talk, "How longing keeps us from healthy relationships," was a TED editor's pick. She's been interviewed about her essays on relationships, sex, and longing by Kate Couric, USA Today, Bloomberg News, and the BBC. She's also the author of the forthcoming book "When Longing Becomes Your Lover." Follow her on Instagram or LinkedIn.
Totally Biased Reviews is a Parley Lit production in collaboration with Parley Productions. Hosted and Edited by Asha Dore and Rebecca Tourino Collinsworth. Music by Nuclear Peasant. Find more at www.TotallyBiasedReviews.com