As Sydney siders skills slowly depreciate and their lives become meaningless, Simon & Lachy will again show them how to spread their cheeks into a big smile. We discuss the important political and social issues hitting the papers because Peter and Mark only focus on terrible landlords ("GIVE ME MORE PETER!"). With stories such as 'Attendees SHOCKED to be sent a bill for not attending a wedding during LOCKDOWN' and 'Mark Mcgowan sports varsity jacket', we will blow your socks off with clever quips and dips. We are glad to be back :) 

This week we discuss how Harvey Nozzas needs to show just a little bit of respect to the unpaid workers, we tear apart a man's Bunnings sausage "dream holiday", and also something about the police. I FORGET sorry, not sorry. ENJOY MY LOVES

Get me back on a Ripstick the goat form of transport. Again we discuss the hot topics to hit headlines this week, from insulting Australia's water temperature to birthing in seconds, Simon and Lachy still can't decide on a weekend to go on a holiday. Even though it was Lachy's idea it's his schedule getting in the way at every turn. Sorry, that was unrelated but I want the world to know. 

Hello reader, 
If you read this description let us know. This week we discuss bullying in parliament, a couple of women openly admitting to the police their plans to buy drukkks and we actively avoid pe**s chat, but, we have accidentally replaced it with violent brawls. Please enjoy it because if you don't I will still sleep like a baby. 

This week we unpack why two fans from the same team engaged in violent 'fisty cuffs', Kim K's orgasm becomes a candle with the help of Gwyneth Paltrow, and Aus rapper Big Kash assures the public through a stand-alone podcast that he's not a rat. Doesn't get much better than this. 

This week we take a Bondi Vet (Chris Brown) approach to storytelling as we try to sexualise even the tamest of situations.  From sharks in the basement to the best brunch spots in Sydney, Simon and Lachy show that not every episode on this podcast channel is pure gold. Simon openly admits he's not the largest and with a Harry Potter intro we knew it would be magical, not good, but magical. ENJOY

This week Waverly College takes a strong stance against the filthy mullet, we learn that Andrew O'Keefe struggles to keep it in his pants, and dick pics, how many is too many? Thank you for the recent support as well. Instagram: slownewsweek_ 

Dean from MAFS poetically comments on  'freedom of speech' through the medium of oversized women, SPANIAN the rapper teaches us the best way to break an entry, and magical asparagus - is it really the most magical?  With suit tops and boxer bottoms on this week, we felt especially silly. BLAH #iykykykykykyk