Episodios

  • When Everything Feels Heavy

    When Everything Feels Heavy
    Sep 12 2025
    The world is a lot right now. Some weeks feel heavier than others, and this has been one of those weeks. I wasn’t about to just move like nothing was happening, so I came to the mic to sit with it for a minute. So let's pause, take a deep breath, and remind ourselves what it feels like to held. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    6 m
  • You Give a F*ck Way Too Much | The Emotional Labor of it All

    You Give a F*ck Way Too Much | The Emotional Labor of it All
    Sep 9 2025
    Have you ever rewritten the same text five times just to make sure it didn’t sound too harsh? Ever softened your “no” so it wouldn’t feel like rejection? Ever held back your truth to avoid being called “too much”? Yeah… me too. In this episode, I’m naming the emotional labor Black women carry just to be seen as “easy.” I’m talking about the constant back-bending, the tiptoeing, the fear of being left — and how all of that is tied to the way we’ve been conditioned to over-care. I talk about the fear of being misunderstood, the pressure to be liked, the desire not to make things weird. I share what it looked like for me to stop bending, stop rewriting, and stop managing everyone else’s comfort just so I wouldn’t be left. We explore the weight of emotional labor — how it shows up in our texts, our boundaries, and the ways we shrink ourselves to stay connected. And I offer a truth that might be hard to sit with: support that costs you your peace isn’t really support. This one is for the Black woman who’s tired of carrying everyone else’s reactions. Because support should feel like ease — not emotional gymnastics. And emotional labor and support are not the same thing. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    13 m
  • Learning to Hold Yourself When No One Else Does

    Learning to Hold Yourself When No One Else Does
    Aug 29 2025
    What do you do when you need to fall apart… but there’s no one there to hold you? This Support Snippet is me sitting with that exact question — and remembering what emotional care looked like back when I didn’t have to ask for it I’m reflecting on what emotional care looked like before life got complicated — and what it means to create that kind of care for yourself now. I’m taking you back to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches made with intention, quiet afternoons that felt like exhaling, and the kind of support that didn’t require me to be okay first. No fixing. No pressure. Just presence. These days, I’m the one everyone leans on — and maybe you are too. So I’m also naming what it feels like to carry that weight quietly, especially as a Black woman, and what it means to admit you still need to be held. If you’ve been moving through your days on autopilot, missing the kind of care you didn’t have to ask for, this episode is for you. Because emotional care for Black women isn’t optional. It’s necessary.And we shouldn’t have to hold it all in just because nobody’s offering to hold us. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    7 m
  • Hot Combs, Safe Spaces, and Growing Up Black

    Hot Combs, Safe Spaces, and Growing Up Black
    Aug 26 2025
    For so many Black women, emotional safety started in the kitchen. The smell of Blue Magic, the sizzle of a straightening comb, the sound of “Hold your ear” — those weren’t just routines. They were rituals. In that chair by the stove, we found connection, care, and permission to let our guards down. Those moments — ordinary as they seemed — were often the first time emotional safety showed up for us.We didn’t always have the words for it back then, but we felt it. And these aren’t just memories. They’re reminders.Reminders that emotional safety is still possible, even if it looks different now. For Black women navigating life without those small sacred spaces, this episode is an invitation:To name the need.To remember you still deserve to be held.And to reclaim the truth that emotional safety isn’t new — it’s something we’ve known in our bones all along. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    13 m
  • You Don't Owe Struggle Your Loyalty

    You Don't Owe Struggle Your Loyalty
    Aug 22 2025
    When we talk about loyalty, most of us think about relationships, family, or friendships. But there’s another kind of loyalty we don’t talk about enough — our loyalty to struggle. As Black women, we’ve been taught that struggle is part of who we are. That staying in relationships, jobs, or communities that drain us somehow proves our strength. That choosing ease means we’re abandoning our people, our roots, or our role as the “strong one.” Choosinng suppot is not about abandoning your people or being selfish. It’s about telling the truth: you don't owe struggle your loyalty and staying in struggle is costing you more than leaving ever will. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    6 m
  • What Ruth and Boaz Taught Me (That Church Never Did)

    What Ruth and Boaz Taught Me (That Church Never Did)
    Aug 19 2025
    We love to romanticize Ruth and Boaz like it’s the ultimate love story — but what if it’s really a story about being supported... for once? In this first episode back after my summer break, I’m digging into the part church never talked about: the quiet power of being chosen without earning it, being cared for without proving you deserve it, and receiving without struggle. This episode isn’t about marriage or fairy tale endings — it’s about softness, legacy, and what happens when you position yourself to be supported... and then pass that support down. In this episode I share:• Why support is often missing in the way the church teaches Ruth’s story• What Ruth teaches us about positioning ourselves to be supported• Why Boaz’s role wasn’t savior — it was support• What it looks like to pass support down through generations Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    15 m
  • Protecting Your Peace or Getting Your Lick Back

    Protecting Your Peace or Getting Your Lick Back
    May 30 2025
    Let’s talk about protecting your peace — and whether that’s really what you’re doing… or if you’re just getting your lick back in silence. In this minisode, I’m breaking down the Room to Breathe Support Language™ — the kind of support that shows up as space, quiet, and the ability to step away without guilt. But I’m also naming the moments when we call it “protecting our peace,” and it’s really a low-key way of making somebody else feel the pain we didn’t say out loud. I even share a moment with my therapist that made me pause and ask myself if I was healing — or just withholding. If Room to Breathe is your Support Language, or if you’ve ever needed space but didn’t quite know how to take it without using it as a shield, this episode is for you. This episode is a reminder that space is sacred — but only when it's rooted in care, not control. You don’t have to go silent to feel safe. You can protect your peace and still stay connected to the people who love you right. Take your time. Take your breath. Just be honest about why you need it. In this episode, I talk about: What Room to Breathe actually looks like When silence becomes a weapon instead of self-care That one therapy session I’ll never forget Why relief isn’t the same as revenge How to know when your peace is real and when it’s rooted in proving Resources to Support You: Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    7 m
  • If You Mean Black Women, Say Black Women

    If You Mean Black Women, Say Black Women
    May 27 2025
    I’m just gonna say it — I get annoyed when I see Black women using the phrase “women of color” when I know they mean Black women. In this episode, I’m talking about why that bothers me, where I think it comes from, and what it’s actually costing us to keep softening, shrinking, or diluting our language — especially in spaces that are supposed to be built for us. I share a recent moment that made me want to reflect out loud. Not to be messy, but because I think it’s time we talk about what happens when we keep trying to make ourselves more acceptable — even in our own healing work. This isn’t about being divisive.It’s about being clear.Because when we say Black women, we’re not excluding anybody — we’re finally being honest. Resources to Support You: Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.com
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    6 m