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🎙️ Episode 10 — Nobody 2 💥🕶️🥋

What if The Great Outdoors packed a rocket launcher? What if Summer Rental ended in a pile of roundhouse kicks? That’s basically Nobody 2 — an 80s-style action comedy throwback… except this time Bob Odenkirk is Robocop on steroids, and his wife is equally ready to shoot a villain down.

It’s dumb. It’s schlocky. It’s poorly written. And it’s glorious. ✨

Justin (predictably) loved it. Brandon came in a notch or two lower. Ethan a little lower still. But honestly? We all had fun with this one. And yes — we found ourselves weirdly obsessed with one supporting character. Who? Why? You’ll have to listen to find out. 🎟️👦

This one’s a blast, front to back. Come hang with us.

Please subscribe. We’re begging. 🙏

👉 ratingsfirstpod.com

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🎙️ Bringing Out the Dead (1999) — The Third Classics Tease 🚑🌃🧠

You know the drill by now: ten minutes, then the door slams shut. 🔒

This time it’s Nic Cage, Scorsese, and Schrader — a cursed little holy trinity that somehow made one of the greatest movies no one talks about. Bringing Out the Dead is grimy, feverish, and weirdly hilarious… kind of like our podcast.

Inside the full episode, we crown this as Cage’s finest work (yes, even better than his trophy win). We talk Goodman, Sizemore, Arquette, and more ambulance hallucinations than the human brain should endure. And for once, we’re unanimous: this is top-tier cinema. 📈

But you don’t get that part. You get the tease. The ambulance doors crack open, you peek inside… then slam. Sirens wailing, episode gone. 🚨

👉 Unlock the Classics Tier™ if you want the whole ride. Otherwise, enjoy your ten-minute trip to the ER.

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🎙️ An American Werewolf in London (1981) — The Second Classics Tease 🐺🇬🇧🌕

Another ten minutes. Another dangling carrot. Another reminder that you’re not getting the whole episode unless you subscribe. 🍫

This time, it’s John Landis’ horror-comedy classic An American Werewolf in London — a film where the makeup slaps, the pub locals are sketchy, and Justin hands out our second-ever Perfect 10™ like it’s a Werther’s Original. 🙄

Ethan and Brandon? Also impressed. But don’t worry — we still roast Justin mercilessly, because what’s a friendship without a little bullying? 💕

So here’s your bite-sized preview. Just enough to hear us howl, then we yank the bone away. 🦴 If you want the full moon transformation, you know what to do: Classics Tier™.

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🎙️ Playtime (1967) — A Ten-Minute Tease 😴📐🇫🇷

Here’s the deal: you’re only getting the first ten minutes. Yep. Just enough to know we argued, got pretentious, and maybe nodded off while Jacques Tati rearranged some chairs. 🪑

This is a tease, a lure, a cinematic breadcrumb trail to the Classics Tier™. If you want the whole delirious ride — Ethan worshipping at the altar of “art,” Justin fighting sleep, Brandon muttering about capitalism — you’ll have to pony up. 💸

Playtime is vibes-only cinema. Our episode is chaos-only podcasting. Together? You get a masterpiece of nonsense… cut short, right… about… now.

👉 Unlock the full thing on the Classics Tier. Because ten minutes is cruel. And we’re cruel.

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🎙️ Episode 9 — Weapons 🔪🍫🪞
No, you didn’t miss Episode 8.5 — that’s Freakier Friday, and technically it dropped inside this very episode. You’ll see.

Here’s the gist: two hosts watched Weapons. One host… did not.
Instead, Ethan — our boy, our chaos goblin 🐒 — showed up hungover and tried to flip the script into a Freakier Friday review.

This was funny for about thirty seconds. Then it spawned a new and henceforth unbreakable Ratings First Law: You must watch the movie before you talk about it. 📜⚖️

Love you, Ethan.

Weapons is the new horror instant-classic from Beer McKegger 🍺🔪. Justin adored it so much he dropped his second Perfect 10 💯, claiming with a straight face it belongs in the same breath as Godfather Part II, Taxi Driver, Citizen Kane, and Lawrence of Arabia.

Brandon? His feelings were… a little more complicated 😬. And after Ethan poked the bear 🐻, the bear went full scorched-earth — issuing on-air suspensions, vetoing scores, and calling out the insanity in real time.

It’s chaotic. It’s petty. It’s maybe one of our funniest episodes yet. Also, surprise — it’s a secret bonus Freakier Friday episode.

🎧 Stream all episodes at ratingsfirstpod.com
🍫 Support the Classics Tier (“Snickers Tier™”) at ratingsfirst.buzzsprout.com

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🎙️ Episode 6 — The Naked Gun (2025) 💥👖🍫

No, you didn’t miss Episode 5 — that’s Playtime, and it dropped over on our Classics Tier, aka the “Snickers Tier™” 🍫
Why Snickers? Because if you subscribe for $6/month, each of us gets $2 (before taxes), which is just enough to buy one (1) small Snickers bar from Ralph’s.
You’re welcome for the financial transparency.

Anyway.

Episode 6 is all about the reboot no one asked for but everyone watched anyway:
🎯 The Naked Gun (2025) starring Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson.

Justin, our resident nihilist ☠️, gave it a 9, which is wild — though Brandon suspects it’s because Justin hasn’t seen a comedy in theaters since 22 Jump Street.

Ethan enjoyed it too 👍 (to a lesser degree), and Brandon?
Well… Brandon had expectations.
Like, “this is one of my all-time favorite franchises” expectations.
And when the classic siren intro is replaced by a graphic designer gag? Yeah. He brought notes. 📋

But hey — the movie is funny. And so is this episode.

We debut our first ever long-form trivia game:
👉 Flop? Or Not? 👈
Ethan and Justin go head-to-head guessing which jokes from the movie landed in Brandon’s theater — and which ones absolutely died in the aisles.
Spoiler: Justin's favorite gag: A snowman threesome. ☃️☃️☃️

It’s a beautiful blast of an episode, and we think you’ll love it.

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🍫 Subscribe to the Classics Tier at ratingsfirst.buzzsprout.com

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EPISODE 4: Fantastic Four (2025) — We’re Cookin’ 🔥👨‍👨‍👧‍👦🔥

What do you get when you toss two film nerds, one chaotic mediator, a superhero reboot, and a suspiciously blonde Hispanic child into the Tri-Pod studio? THIS. DAMN. EPISODE. 🎤💥

Justin hated it. 😠
Ethan loved it. 😍
Brandon tried to be the bridge. He drowned. 🪦

This did wrap as a tight 76-minute episode. But then came the side quests ✨✨.

Somewhere around the 1-hour mark, post-Fantastic, we enter Tangent Purgatory™ — barking studio beef, microphone trauma, and why Sue Storm gave birth to a California Abercrombie model.

PLUS:
🐉 Our Top 3 Nic Cage movies (Spoiler: Ghost Rider makes an appearance)
🎬 Don't ask why, just enjoy.

4th episode. Fantastic Four. We’re nothing if not lazy geniuses. 🧠

🎧 Main feed is poppin’. Sub to the Classics Tier in August.
📬 justin or brandon or ethan@ratingsfirstpod.com
🧡 For the Faithful Fifteen who stuck with us all the way through Eddington

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🧠💥🔥 Ari Aster goes full chaos mode.
This week, the Ratings First squad unpacks the utter madness that is Eddington — a dark, violent, twist-loaded character study set in a pandemic-era American town 💉🇺🇸.

🧔‍♂️ Joaquin Phoenix plays a right-wing sheriff with a god complex
🧑‍🎤 Pedro Pascal is the chill but doomed lefty mayor
👩 Emma Stone? Ethan says checked-out, J&B say locked in.

Lowkey terrifying, if this is now America. Not a single redeemable soul in sight.

⚠️ This movie has:
🔪 Small-town politics
😡 Screaming matches
💣 Surprise violence
🤯 Twists on twists
😬 And yeah... a very sloppy Act 3 (Justin & Brandon still kinda dug it tho)

Ethan?? HATED IT. Said it was a “total mess” and meant every word 💀🔥

🎧 Listen now to hear the full breakdown, the beef, and maybe a little screaming:
ratingsfirst.buzzsprout.com🎙️🍿

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