Michael Andor Brodeur is a “big man.” That’s the term he uses to describe himself after more than 30 years of lifting weights - some of those spent as a powerlifter, and all of those spent not just trying to get fit, but to get big. But for all the time he’s spent in the gym over the years, he’s probably spent just as much time thinking about the way men think about the connection between men, muscles, and masculinity.

On this episode of Paternal, Brodeur discusses the concept of getting big and why some men are so motivated to do so, the connection between how men build their bodies and their inability to express themselves emotionally, how some men use weightlifting to deal with issues like anxiety, grief and addiction, and why the gym is a place where men are free to fail and support one another when they do fail, two things they might not be encouraged to do in other parts of society.

Brodeur is the classical music critic at the Washington Post and the author of the book, Swole: The Making of Men and the Meaning of Muscle, which is available wherever you buy books.

Episode Timestamps:

00:00 - 05:20 - Introduction
05:20 - 7:13 - First exposure to weight lifting
07:13 - 13:00 - Using weights as a way to change self-image
13:00 - 17:52 - Why men lift weights to be noticed by other men
17:52 - 22:22 - How men use their bodies as primary means of self-expression
22:22 - 25:43 - Why failure and encouragement is accepted by men the gym
25:43 - 30:05 - Carrying grief into the gym
30:05 - 33:30 - A different definition of strength

When you’re talking to Bakari Sellers about fatherhood, you’re talking to a man who truly is a link between generations. As the son of a famous Civil Rights activist who befriended the likes of Stokely Carmichael and Martin Luther King, Jr., Sellers feels the weight of expectations from his ancestors and his community. And as the father of two young twins, he feels the pressure of helping ensure the world is better for them than it ever was for him.

But what happens when that pressure sometimes feels like too much? And what happens when, despite all the work he and his father have done to make it so, he simply can’t tell his kids everything will be okay? On this episode of Paternal, Sellers discusses why he sees his life as an extension of his father’s journey, how he copes with anxiety, his relationship to anger, and why he thinks the U.S. has reached a nadir after George Floyd’s death failed to produce a racial reckoning so many expected.

Sellers is a political commentator for CNN and a former state legislator from South Carolina, as well as the author of the new book The Moment, which is available now wherever you buy books.

Episode Timestamps:

00:00 - 07:40 - Introduction

07:40 - 10:15 - Lessons from his father

10:15 - 16:00 - dealing with the pressure of a famous father

16:00 - 19:26 - handling pressure from the Black community and dealing with anxiety

19:26 - 24:20 - on generational changes among poiliticians and activists

24:20 - 27:35 - channeling anger and realizing the world might not be okay for our kids

27:35 - 29:50 - on lessons we teach our kids, and a sense of resignation

29:50 - end credits

Read The Transcript For This Episode

If you were a child of the 1980s and early 1990s, you lived through a golden age for sitcom dads. From The Cosby Show to Growing Pains and Roseanne to The Simpsons, fathers of all kinds ruled the airwaves for roughly a decade, providing an entire generation of wide-eyed kids a glimpse into what a father should look like and, for better or worse, what a family can be. But did these portrayals of paternal figures do more harm than good, and how did Friends and Seinfeld land a fatal blow to the fate of sitcom dads?

Comedy historian and author Saul Austerlitz joins this episode of Paternal to take a deep dive on the history of the family sitcom, tracing the genre’s roots back to the dawn of television. He discusses how fathers were first portrayed in the 1950s and how they have evolved during each decade thereafter, including iconic sitcom dads on Leave it to Beaver, All in the Family, The Cosby Show, Married With Children, Roseanne, and The Simpsons.

Austerlitz is a faculty member at NYU who teaches courses on writing about American comedy and writing about television drama, and he’s the author of six books, including on the history of sitcoms and the success of the hit series Friends. He recently wrote an article in The Atlantic entitled “Dad Culture Has Nothing to Do With Parenting.”

Episode Timestamps:

00:00 - 06:56 - Intro

06:56 - 10:33 - The perils of the “dad perjorative” and the connection to sitcoms

10:33 - 15:12 - Sitcom dads in the 1950s and 1960s

15:12 - 21:18 - Discussing Archie Bunker, “All in the Family,” and 70s family sitcoms

23:16 - 28:28 - The success of “The Cosby Show”

28:28 - 32:22 - The rise of the 1980s Superdad

32:22 - 36:12 - “Roseanne” breaks the mold

36:12 - 42:49 - The alternative dads on “Married With Children” and “The Simpsons”

42:49 - 46:25 - The 1990s demise of the family sitcom

46:25 - 48:42 - “Blackish” and dads on modern-day sitcoms

48:42 - 51:40 - What we lose without family sitcoms

Read The Transcript For This Episode