Episodios

  • Wendy Cole - "Gender is Between the Ears, and Not the Legs"

    Wendy Cole - "Gender is Between the Ears, and Not the Legs"
    Jun 15 2025
    Summary At age 67, Wendy Cole transitioned from male to female after a lifetime of hiding her true identity. In this candid conversation, Wendy shares the emotional cost of repression, her turning point in 2014, and how she found joy, health, and purpose by finally embracing who she is. Now a mentor and advocate, Wendy is helping others navigate their own gender journeys and working to humanize what it means to be transgender. Keywords transgender, coming out, identity, support, mental health, community, authenticity, transition, LGBTQ+, personal growth Takeaways Wendy transitioned male to female at age 67.She felt a lifelong sense of not belonging.Gender identity is formed in the brain during the second trimester.Wendy faced significant societal and familial pressure to conform.She repressed her identity for decades due to fear and shame.The DSM's classification of LGBTQ+ identities has evolved over time.Wendy found support and community later in life.She emphasizes the importance of living authentically.Wendy's mission is to educate others about transgender experiences.It's never too late to pursue one's true identity.Sound Bites "I was punished for breaking my glasses.""I was taken to a psychiatrist.""I was threatened with being committed.""I couldn't take it anymore.""I was doing this out of survival.""I was pretty much on my own.""I was going to do this for me.""It's never too late to take charge."Audio Chapters 00:00 Wendy's Journey of Self-Discovery11:58 The Struggles of Repression and Acceptance22:15 Transitioning and Finding Community32:29 Living Authentically and Educating Others More About Wendy Cole: http://meetwendycole.com/https://wendycolegtm.net/category/podcasts/Demystifying the Transgender Journey Podcast: https://wendycolegtm.net/episode-001-demystifying-this-podcast/Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/eU5v97dHNIs YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com Contact David: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.comhttps://www.DavidCottonCoaching.comhttps://www.OutLateWithDavid.comhttps://linktr.ee/davidacotton © 2025 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved. The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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    43 m
  • BONUS - Navigating the Journey of Coming Out with hosts of the Out Loud podcast, Jon and Brian

    BONUS - Navigating the Journey of Coming Out with hosts of the Out Loud podcast, Jon and Brian
    Jun 7 2025
    Thank you to Jon & Brian of Out Loud for allowing me to publish this episode from their podcast. You guys are fantastic! I've been a fan since I first discovered you on YouTube! Keep living your life, OUT LOUD!!Out Loud Podcast with Jon and Brian:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/out-loud/id1560962922https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHLEcaJ0RewmS9XyfVa-fwwSummary In this episode of Out Late With David, David Cotton is a guest on the podcast, Out Loud, while visiting Key West FL. Along with the hosts of Out Loud, Jon and Brian, they discuss the complexities of coming out later in life, the importance of community support, and the dynamics of relationships, especially for older gay men. He shares insights from his experiences and those of his guests, emphasizing the need for authenticity, compassion, and understanding in navigating personal journeys and family dynamics. The conversation also touches on the challenges faced by older men in the dating world and offers advice on how to approach relationships with clarity and openness. Keywords coming out, LGBTQ, age gap relationships, gay community, life coaching, support, authenticity, family dynamics, relationships, self-discovery Takeaways Coming out later in life can be a complex journey.Community support is crucial for those coming out.Navigating family dynamics requires patience and understanding.Authenticity is key to living a fulfilling life.Older men face unique challenges in dating.It's important to communicate clearly in relationships.Self-acceptance is a vital part of the coming out process.Compartmentalization can hinder personal growth.You can maintain relationships even after coming out.Love can be found unexpectedly, regardless of age.Sound Bites"Don't rush into coming out.""I couldn't continue living a lie.""You have to accept who you are.""I feel transparent many times."Audio Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Out Late with David01:06 Coming Out Later in Life04:05 The Role of Community and Support07:54 Navigating Relationships and Family Dynamics12:09 The Impact of Age and Experience15:54 Living Authentically and Finding Peace18:45 Advice for Older Men in Dating Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/YOGFb9CWCjw YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.comhttps://www.OutLateWithDavid.comhttps://linktr.ee/davidacotton© 2025 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved. The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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    22 m
  • Wayne Scott - Redefining Marriage: A Journey Through Non-Monogamy

    Wayne Scott - Redefining Marriage: A Journey Through Non-Monogamy
    Mar 30 2025
    Summary

    In this conversation, Wayne Scott shares his journey through a mixed orientation marriage, detailing the challenges and transformations he and his wife faced. They navigated the complexities of identity, love, and commitment, ultimately redefining their relationship through non-monogamy. Wayne emphasizes the importance of communication, patience, and the willingness to adapt as individuals grow over time. His story serves as a testament to the possibility of creating a fulfilling partnership that honors both personal and shared desires.

    Keywords

    mixed orientation marriage, non-monogamy, relationships, LGBTQ+, marriage advice, communication, love story, personal growth, therapy, bisexuality, coming out, LGBTQ+

    Takeaways
    • Mixed orientation marriages can thrive without ending in divorce.
    • Communication is key in navigating relationship challenges.
    • Non-monogamy can be a viable option for some couples.
    • Patience is essential when exploring new relationship dynamics.
    • It's important to redefine what marriage means to you.
    • Love can persist through difficult transitions in a relationship.
    • Couples can create their own rules for their relationship.
    • Support from a therapist can facilitate difficult conversations.
    • Children can adapt to their parents' non-traditional relationships.
    • Personal growth is a continuous journey within a marriage.
    Sound Bites
    • "It doesn't always end in divorce."
    • "A new idea turned his marriage into a love story."
    • "Your marriage can be whatever you want it to be."
    • "It's okay to take a couple years to figure it out."
    • "It can be whatever you want it to be."
    • "They chose to break the rules and norms of society."
    Audio Chapters

    00:00 Navigating Mixed Orientation Marriages
    09:50 The Shift to Non-Monogamy
    20:01 Lessons Learned from Non-Traditional Relationships

    Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

    YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/wHFdiTkYoYk

    YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

    Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

    Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com

    © 2025 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved. The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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    32 m
  • Stefan Schneider - building the modern family

    Stefan Schneider - building the modern family
    Mar 6 2025
    In this episode of Out Late with David, Stefan Schneider shares his journey of coming out as gay, navigating relationships, and building a modern family. He reflects on the challenges of coming out in the early 90s, the impact of his sexuality on his marriage, and the emotional turmoil of divorce. Through self-discovery and therapy, Stefan learns to embrace his identity and finds happiness in his new life with his husband and blended family. The conversation highlights the importance of authenticity, communication, and the complexities of family dynamics in the LGBTQ+ community.

    Takeaways
    • Coming out is a complex process that varies for everyone.
    • The societal context during the early 90s made coming out challenging.
    • Authenticity in relationships can create both closeness and tension.
    • Divorce can be a painful but necessary step towards self-acceptance.
    • Rebuilding relationships with children requires patience and love.
    • Self-discovery often involves confronting difficult truths about oneself.
    • Having a clear vision of what you want in a partner can guide your choices.
    • The journey to happiness is not linear and requires effort.
    • Childhood experiences can shape one's understanding of identity.
    • Creating a supportive environment for children is crucial during transitions.
    Sound Bites
    • "I just wanted to fit in and be normal."
    • "The only way out is through sometimes."
    • "I always wanted to be a dad."
    • "I had to sacrifice something of myself."
    • "I felt like I had split up my family."
    • "We met on Christian Mingle."

    Chapters

    00:00 Navigating Identity and Relationships
    15:00 The Journey of Self-Discovery
    30:00 Building a Blended Family
    33:48 Reflections on Happiness and Authenticity

    Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

    YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/YGWJGVhw2s8

    YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

    Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

    Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com

    © 2025 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved. The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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    35 m
  • Mark Dembo - the weight of truth…a journey of self-discovery

    Mark Dembo - the weight of truth…a journey of self-discovery
    Jan 20 2025
    Summary

    Mark Dembo shares his journey of coming out at the age of 59, reflecting on the challenges and transformations he faced in his relationships, particularly with his wife and children. He discusses the emotional weight of living a life that felt inauthentic and the liberation he felt upon embracing his true self. Mark emphasizes the importance of support from family and community, and the complexities of navigating a mixed-orientation marriage. His story highlights the potential for love and acceptance even in the face of significant life changes. Mark emphasizes the significance of love and understanding in navigating the challenges of coming out later in life, offering insights and advice for others on similar journeys. Keywords coming out, LGBTQ, self-discovery, relationships, family dynamics, support groups, acceptance, personal growth, authenticity, mental health

    Takeaways
    • Coming out later in life can be a complex journey.
    • Self-acceptance often comes with emotional weight.
    • Support from family is crucial during the coming out process.
    • Navigating relationships requires patience and understanding.
    • Community support can provide a sense of belonging.
    • Publicly embracing one's identity can be liberating.
    • It's important to allow space for emotions in relationships.
    • Guilt is a common feeling for those coming out later in life.
    • Maintaining friendships post-separation is possible.
    • Every individual's journey is unique, but shared experiences can help.
    Sound Bites
    • "I was living somebody else's life."
    • "I consider myself so very lucky in who she is."
    • "I want to do whatever I can to help."
    • "You have nothing to feel guilty for."
    • "I recognize that I didn't choose this."
    • "I can't fight that; it's who I am."
    Audio Chapters

    00:00 Mark's Journey of Self-Discovery
    07:51 The Impact of Coming Out on Relationships
    15:45 Navigating Family Dynamics
    20:57 Finding Community and Support
    26:05 Publicly Embracing Authenticity


    Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

    YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/8RrNuddNU-c

    YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

    Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

    Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com

    © 2025 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved. The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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    35 m
  • John Duerler - navigating complexities of coming out while creating community for gay fathers

    John Duerler - navigating complexities of coming out while creating community for gay fathers
    Nov 12 2024
    Summary

    In this interview David Cotton speaks with John Duerler who shares his journey of self-discovery as a gay man, navigating the complexities of coming out to his family and the challenges of maintaining relationships. He discusses the importance of being true to oneself, the supportive reactions from his family, and the creation of a community for gay fathers. John emphasizes the significance of open communication and offers advice for others in similar situations, highlighting that they are not alone in their struggles. Keywords coming out, LGBTQ, family dynamics, self-discovery, relationships, gay fathers, acceptance, mental health, personal growth, community support Takeaways
    • John's journey of self-discovery began in childhood.
    • He dated women for many years before coming out.
    • Family support played a crucial role in his coming out process.
    • John's children reacted positively to his coming out.
    • He emphasizes the importance of therapy in understanding one's identity.
    • John's relationship with his wife remains amicable despite their separation.
    • He created a community for gay fathers to share experiences.
    • John's podcast aims to help others navigate similar journeys.
    • He believes in the power of open communication within families.
    • John encourages others to seek help and support during their journey.
    Sound Bites

    "I had to be true to myself."
    "I want to come work for you."
    "It gets better."
    "You're not alone."
    "Be true to yourself. Get help."

    Audio Chapters

    00:00 Introduction to Coming Out Journeys
    03:00 Early Experiences and Realizations
    05:55 Navigating Relationships and Family Dynamics
    08:49 The Impact of Family and Support Systems
    12:13 Coming Out to Family and Friends
    15:10 Creating a Supportive Community
    18:02 Reflections on Dating and Relationships
    20:46 Advice for Others on Their Journey
    24:07 Conclusion and Resources


    Book Recommendation: Fashionably Late: Gay, Bi, and Trans Men Who Came Out Later in Life, edited by Vinnie Kinsella. https://a.co/d/dh3N2yM

    Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

    YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/0Dx2jCfpzlQ

    YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

    Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

    Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com

    © 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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    29 m
  • David Nygaard - divorce, heart attack, bankruptcy…a journey of resilience

    David Nygaard - divorce, heart attack, bankruptcy…a journey of resilience
    Oct 10 2024
    In this conversation, David Cotton speaks with David Nygaard about his journey of coming out as gay later in life. They discuss the challenges of recognizing one's identity in a society that often stigmatizes homosexuality, the complexities of navigating relationships and marriage, and the impact of a significant health crisis on Nygaard's life. Nygaard shares his experiences of embracing authenticity, his political aspirations, and the importance of open communication in relationships. The conversation concludes with advice for those in mixed orientation marriages, emphasizing the need for self-acceptance and seeking professional guidance. David also offers advice for others who may be struggling with their identity and relationships.

    Keywords coming out, LGBTQ+, self-discovery, relationships, authenticity, heart attack, personal growth, life changes, gay marriage, mental health

    Takeaways
    • Coming out later in life can be a complex journey.
    • David Nygaard's story reflects the complexities of self-discovery.
    • Growing up, he felt an early attraction to men but lacked the language to express it.
    • He wore a metaphorical mask to hide his true self.
    • His involvement in evangelical Christianity was a way to escape depression.
    • David's marriage was filled with happiness despite his hidden sexuality.
    • The divorce allowed him to explore his identity more freely.
    • He experienced a life-changing heart attack that prompted a reevaluation of his life.
    • Authenticity became a priority after his health crisis.
    • Political activism can be a way to impact the community positively.
    • It's important to seek therapy to navigate mixed orientation marriages.
    • David Cotton emphasizes the importance of dating oneself before seeking a partner.
    • He encourages others to seek therapy to navigate their feelings.
    Sound Bites
    • "My story reads like a soap opera."
    • "I always had an affinity or an attraction to guys."
    • "We grew up in an age where it was illegal to be gay."
    • "I put on what I'd say is a three foot mask."
    Audio Chapters

    00:00 Awakening to Identity
    05:40 Navigating Relationships and Marriage
    10:02 Embracing Authenticity Post-Divorce
    18:16 Health Crisis and Life Changes
    24:32 Political Aspirations and Community Impact
    27:55 Building a New Relationship
    30:47 Advice for Those in Mixed Orientation Marriages

    Book Recommendation: “Is My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi?” by Joe Kort. https://a.co/d/0J2egb1

    Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com

    YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/4ius0O4Y_8U

    YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg

    Certified Professional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com

    Contact me: david@davidcottoncoaching.com

    © 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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    33 m
  • Brian Janes - came out after 26 years of marriage, now finding his place in his new community

    Brian Janes - came out after 26 years of marriage, now finding his place in his new community
    Aug 28 2024
    Summary Brian Janes, a successful real estate broker, came out as gay at age 49 after 26 years of marriage. He loved being married and had a strong connection with his wife, but deep down, he had a sexual desire that didn't match up with her. After years of therapy and self-help, his wife eventually told him she wanted a divorce. Brian knew he was gay from a young age but didn't know how to embrace it. He suppressed his true self and lived in fear of being found out. After his divorce, he made the decision to come out and started a podcast for men coming out later in life. Keywords: comingout, marriage, divorce, self-discovery, suppression, fear, loneliness, podcast, outlate, gay, alwaysgay TakeawaysSuppressing your true self can lead to frustration and strain in relationships.Coming out later in life can be a difficult and lonely process.Embracing your true self can lead to personal growth and a more fulfilling life.Sharing your story and being vulnerable can help others going through similar experiences. TitlesThe Journey of Coming Out Later in LifeEmbracing Your True Self and Finding Personal Growth Sound Bites"Don't Let Your Wonder Turn Into Closure""Here I Am, a Proud Gay Man""You're Not Alone, We're All Out Here" Chapters (audio)00:00 Introduction: Brian James' Journey01:15 The Love and Connection of Marriage03:11 The Strain and Separation in Divorce04:09 Suppressing Identity and Fear of Coming Out08:27 Embracing Authenticity and Self-Discovery14:13 Coming Out to Ex-Wife and Children18:12 Starting the Podcast: Coming Inside Out23:09 Loneliness and Struggles After Coming Out28:14 Advice for Married Men Struggling with Acceptance30:31 Conclusion: Forgiving and Loving Yourself Chapters (video)00:00 Introduction and Background03:04 Suppressing True Self in a Marriage07:50 The Decision to Come Out10:43 The Power of Wonder and Curiosity13:36 Coming Out to Ex-Wife and Children17:23 Exploring the New World19:17 Regrets and Self-Kindness21:2 0Loneliness and Self-Discovery24:19 Starting the Podcast27:37 Advice for Married Men Struggling with Acceptance29:54 Summary and Closing Song Lyric Reflection: Ben Platt's "Older." Older lyrics: https://www.google.com/search?q=ben+platt+older+lyrics&oq=ben+platt+older+lyrics&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIKCAEQABiABBiiBDIKCAIQABiABBiiBNIBCDQ2NzdqMGo3qAIIsAIB&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8Older on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_sADbvPmzE Podcast website and resources: https://www.OutLateWithDavid.com YouTube Edition: https://youtu.be/n3Iuqhu2K5M YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvsthP9yClKI4o5LxbuQnOg CertifiedProfessional Life Coach, David Cotton: https://www.DavidCottonCoaching.com Contact me: mailto:david@davidcottoncoaching.com© 2024 David Cotton Coaching, LLC. All rights reserved.The "Out Late With David" podcast and its content are the property of David Cotton Coaching, LLC. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from David Cotton Coaching, LLC is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to "Out Late With David" and David Cotton Coaching, LLC with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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    32 m
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