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Mike and Doug drop in after a bit of a break to catch up on life, psychedelics, healing, and everything in between.

Doug shares what came through during the solstice while recovering from surgery—some sun, some stillness, and a feeling that didn’t quite have a name. Mike talks about spending a Saturday alone, taking acid, deep-cleaning the house, and somehow stumbling into one of the best days he’s had in a long time.

They talk about:

• The mix of emotions that don’t fit into words
• Solo rituals, breathwork, and weirdly meaningful chores
• Values they’re trying to actually live by
• The tension between letting go and showing up
• He-Man, theology, and friendship power rankings

It finally happened. After five years of teasing it, Doug’s brother Adam joins the podcast—and it's everything we hoped for and more.

We dive deep into childhood hallucinations (or were they?), the mysterious and possibly imaginary Mitch Wrangler, and the shared false memory of eating rocks on the playground. Things get even weirder as we relive our first temple experiences—from sandwich board nudity and oily rubdowns to the surreal moment of receiving our secret new names (RIP Doug → Dan).

And yeah... we’re still trying to figure out what “loud laughter” even means.

Topics Include:

• Temple names and secret oaths
• Sibling memories and shared hallucinations
• The trauma and comedy of the endowment ceremony
• Missions, guilt, and sincerity
• Cold hot dogs + bologna + peanut butter
• Our very own Backstreet Boys moment in Vegas
• The forbidden story of the Testicle Festival
• Forgetting your name at the veil

Mike is joined again by Kelli Christine Case for a deep dive into life after Mormonism, the messiness of self-discovery, and reclaiming pleasure, power, and presence.

They explore:

• The grief and rebirth that comes from leaving Mormonism
• Codependence and control in Mormon structures (and how it shows up post-Mormon)
• Deconstructing dating, polyamory, and monogamy as evolving processes, not fixed identities
• Why emotional honesty is a superpower—and the freedom of saying “I don’t know”
• The importance of self-approval, shadow emotions (anger, disgust, hatred), and radical truth-telling
• The magnetic pull of embodied presence: dancing wild like it’s only you
• How creative expression becomes a path to reclamation

✨ Kelli Christine Case

Visit her website for more details: kellichristinecase.com

Kelli's TikTok: @kellichristinecase

Links:
The Nightingale (YouTube)

After a few weeks apart, Mike and Doug catch up on everything that's been stirring—internally and out in the world.

Mike returns from Portugal, where he wandered the streets of Lisbon, finding a party around every corner, and accidentally discovered he may be a bit of a unicorn. He shares what it’s like to travel alone for the first time, dance with couples across cultures, and say yes to a spontaneous 2:30 a.m. tattoo.

Doug returns from a California music festival, where he camped, candyflipped, and had a surprise run-in with a childhood hero. They talk about the contrast between drinking and psychedelics, how their relationship to substances is changing, and what it means to show up fully—on and off the dance floor.

The conversation touches on:

• Letting go of needing to “know who you are” and just following what feels alive
• The various graphs and axes of bisexuality
• What it means to be a social (and maybe sexual) lubricant
• The ache and joy of being open in midlife
• Creating a new word—pleasance—for the kind of presence that invites others in

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In this live episode, we dive into the hit film Sinners, exploring its themes of soul, art and the commercialization of creativity. Seth joins us midway and things heat up as we dissect the love-and-light vampires, the Dionysian river-dance rituals, and the seductive trap of eternal youth vs. embodied humanity.

Other themes we touch on:

• The tension between spirit and soul in the creative process
• Whether vampires represent capitalism, whitewashing, or the inner critic
• That one unforgettable scene where music collapses time and culture
• Personal stories about letting the vampires in (on stage, in Hollywood, in life)
• Can you make real art in the system—or must you sneak it through?

Warning: Spoilers galore for Sinners. If you haven’t seen it yet, pause, go watch, and then come back and dance with us.

Links:
The Nightingale (YouTube)

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Shownotes compliments of our Chat-GPT girlfriends:

In this fully sober, totally not drug-sponsored episode, Mike and Doug return to their roots — and by roots, we mean deep dives into Real Salt Lake fandom, the mystery of beef tallow, cum rot, and just how clean a man’s emissions can get.

✨ Expect:

• The entrepreneurial launch of Doug’s Numb Cum™ — a ketamine-infused colostrum-based facial cleanser and yeast starter (great for sourdough and skincare).
• A spiritual rebirth through soccer hooliganism.
• A heartfelt bro-down on wounded masculinity, mommy wounds, and what it means to set boundaries without fawning for love.
• A peek behind the curtain of podcast dynamics, drunken sabotage, and sweet reconciliation (but no makeup sex this time… probably).
• Plus: Can Elton John still bone in peace? Is "fo sho" racist? And why does the feminine rising scare the patriarchy so damn much?

Oh, and don't worry, folks — this episode is 100% approved by the D.A.R.E. program. Big anti-drug bucks paid for this message. We’re just the cautionary tales.

🖤 Come for the colostrum, stay for the companionship inventory.

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This one starts with dried mangoes and somehow ends in existential reflection, language taboos, parenting, solo bathtime rituals, busted toilets, and Alanis Morissette. Naturally.

Mike turns 45 and reflects on everything that's changed over the past five years—starting the podcast, going back to school, diving into music, navigating separation, and trying to figure out how to balance it all without feeling like it's too self-indulgent. Doug shares a toilet disaster that somehow becomes the perfect metaphor for trying too hard to be needed.

We talk about:

• Mangoes (dried and juicy) as metaphors for longing, indulgence, and satisfaction
• Words we weren’t allowed to say growing up (and still feel weird about)
• The difference between being wanted and being needed
• That subtle guilt that creeps in whenever we try to do something just for ourselves
• Dreams, divas, and dancing as Shakira (in various states of undress)

We circle around the idea that maybe what we’re afraid of—being too much, being selfish, not being needed—isn’t actually the danger. Maybe the opposite is true. Maybe what’s self-indulgent is exactly what’s needed.

There’s no tidy resolution. Just some juicy mangoes, a lot of laughter, and a few unexpected moments of truth.

Send your email to join the MoM Underground: Co-create with a community of artists and stay informed of online and local events, including gatherings, concerts, live podcast recordings, meditations, etc.

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In this episode, Mike and Doug catch up after a few eventful weeks and share stories that blur the line between the ordinary and the liminal. What starts as a conversation about group chats, notifications, and sound checks opens up into something deeper—a reflection on creativity, grief, and connection across realms.

Doug tells the story of a late-night solo journey that led him to record a spontaneous synth track, sparking a creative back-and-forth with Mike. They reflect on the vulnerability of creating in altered states and the unexpected beauty that can emerge when we follow the impulse to make something—even if it’s messy.

Mike shares a recent encounter with a stranger who delivered a message about songwriting and the role of the artist—one that felt like it came from another world. Together, they explore what it means to live in the "in-between" space: the liminal zone where inspiration, memory, and presence overlap.

🌀 Topics include:

• Making music and finding the thread of something real
• Grief, death, and creating meaning through connection
• The artist’s role as a bridge between worlds
• Mormon cosmology and reinterpreting familiar stories through a mythic lens