Alex and I are in the thick of it—children aged 3-5, so we were excited to ask someone on the other side: Rachel, who raised 4 kids while building a business over 25 years.

"Looking back—what actually mattered?"

Not achievements. Not milestones. Relationship.

Rachel: teacher → founder of Reading Matters → 25 years raising 4 kids (now 15-24) → the long view.

She chose slow growth to be present. Built a business ahead of its time. And now looking back, she reflects out loud.

In this episode:

Why relationship is the foundation of everything—without connection, you can't influence or teach.

How teaching emotional regulation starts with regulating your own (and why their prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed yet).

The iceberg framework: all behavior is communication—what you see is just the tip.

Helping her children navigate their own grief taught her when to guide and when to hold space.

Why reading together isn't just education—it's connection, windows into other worlds, relationship through story.

This is wisdom from the other side. From someone who's already raised the kids you're raising now.

Timely note: It's Children's Mental Health Week—this conversation about emotional regulation and seeing behaviour as communication couldn't be more relevant.

I finally had my professional photo shoot last week. Pre-kids me would've spent weeks planning—outfit anxiety, hair decisions, brooch or no brooch?

This time? I picked my dress the night before, and everything turned out amazing.

In this episode:

I talk about the shift from perfectionism to spontaneity, and why it matters beyond just photos.

How motherhood gives you the ability to access joy on command, even when the photographer says "laugh."

And why lowering your standards isn't about doing things badly—it's about doing them within your current capacity instead of waiting for perfect.

This podcast is proof of that.

We started in our dressing gowns, without the perfect idea, afraid of what people would think.

Now we're over 100 episodes in.

Sometimes good enough is exactly what you need to actually start building something meaningful and to have joy in the chaos.

She spent her entire career seeing other women as competition. Strategic. Logical. Always one step ahead.

Then motherhood hit—and showed her children aren't strategic. They're chaos.

Mandy Rees: commercial real estate lawyer → severe postnatal depression → founder of Mother for Life.

Motherhood realigned her entire career path—from competing in corporate to building spaces where women collaborate instead.

In this episode:

Why we're conditioned to see other women as threats (and how to unlearn it).

How motherhood destroyed her "logical solutions" playbook and forced a complete identity shift.

The self-confidence work that changes everything—when you genuinely like yourself, other women stop feeling like competition.

Why maternal self-sacrifice is killing us (and what to do instead).

When you're comfortable with yourself—when you take up your own space, meet your own needs, do the inner work—you see yourself clearly. Then you see others clearly.

That psychological separation is what creates collaboration instead of competition.

The cycle:

We were conditioned to compete. Taught there's only room for one successful woman.

And when we compete instead of collaborate? We pass that scarcity mindset straight to our daughters.

Working parenthood gives you skills you didn't know you'd need.

Lightning reflexes. Knowing where every toy is at all times. Remembering names at 2am. Living in the margins.

You're not just surviving. You're building something.

In this episode:

The 7 skills working parents develop (accidentally) that make the chaos somehow manageable. Why knowing where to draw the line—and when to dance right over it—is essential. How living in the margins isn't just survival. It's how you build the life you actually chose.

When you're catching coffee cups mid-air, tracking down lost trains, and finding joy even on the hardest days—you're not failing.

You're building resilience. Perspective. The ability to show up fully in the moments that matter.

The journey is chaotic. Hard. Relentless.

But in the margins, you're creating something beautiful.

And somehow, that's enough.

The hardest seasons have a way of forcing us inward—to sit with ourselves, reassess what matters, and figure out who we're actually becoming.

2025 was one of those years for me.

As we close out January, I'm sharing the 15 biggest lessons that changed how I see motherhood, myself, and what it means to build a life I actually like living.

From lowering my threshold for joy to finally ageing out of social choreography at 36.

Learning that ordinary life is the gift we forget to unwrap.

Discovering that building an identity outside of motherhood can be the ultimate multiplier for everything else.

These aren't neat, tidy lessons. They're messy, hard-won, and still unfolding.

But they're real. And if you've been in a season where life is asking more of you than you thought you had to give—this one's for you.

Let's close out the month with some hard truths and a little bit of hope.

We're more afraid of rejection as we get older.

We've learned to protect ourselves. We don't put ourselves out there anymore.

But here's what the past 6 months taught me: friendships aren't a nice-to-have. They're what carry you through.

In this episode:

Why making friends as a mother takes real courage. How the friendships you build make you show up differently - not just as a friend, but as a wife and mother too.

When you have your own people, your own identity outside of "mum" - you show up happier. More confident. With a spark that's undeniable.

Your kids see a mother with her own life. Your partner sees someone whole, not just co-dependent.

It's not selfish. It's essential.

So if you meet someone at the school gate, in the coffee shop, anywhere - and you connect?

Ask them to coffee. Risk the awkwardness.

There will come a point when those friendships stop being a luxury and become essential.

Ask Maryann Walsh if she's a risk-taker and she'd say no. That's what makes her story so powerful.

Registered dietician. Consulting business. 2 TED talks. PhD candidate. And at 40, she made the least "safe" decision of her life: single motherhood by choice.

Two abusive relationships taught her a powerful lesson: she didn't have to stay with the wrong partner just to have a child. She could become a mother on her own.

Financial independence gave her the freedom to choose her path—not out of desperation, but on her terms.

When severe postpartum depression hit, she got help without shame.

This is a conversation about breaking patterns, becoming comfortable alone, and building the life you want instead of waiting for perfect conditions.

I have a fear of wasting time.

This week, my neighbor's dad was given 3 months to live. I sat with them - just talking, letting time pass. Fighting every urge to be productive.

Here's what struck me: I live like time is always urgent. But her family would give anything for those 3 months to drag.

Time always feels urgent until it really is. Then you just want it to slow down.

In this episode:

We've mastered discipline - the gym, the work, showing up. But we haven't mastered rest, breaks, doing nothing without guilt.

What if this year is for optimizing joy instead of just output?

Your next growth might not be doing more. It might be learning to do less - and being okay with it.

Time is urgent. Life is short. Maybe BECAUSE of that, we need permission to waste some of it.