Send us a text

Have you ever stared at your phone, heart pounding, wondering if one wrong text could push your partner even further away? You're not alone. In this raw and practical episode, we break down the real reason relationships don't survive space - and it's not what you think.

The Hard Truth: Most relationships don't end because of space. They end because of miscommunication during that space.

What You'll Learn

• Why "the perfect phrase" is marketing BS that preys on your desperation
• How your brain fills in the blanks with worst-case scenarios during silence
• Why labels shut down conversations instead of opening them up

The Avoidant Partner Question: A listener asks about navigating communication with an avoidant partner. Staci's Answer: Stop weaponizing labels. Avoidant partners aren't broken - they're coping.

Key Insights About Avoidant Partners:

• They're not withholding love on purpose, they literally don't know how to express it
• They're often the most sensitive, emotionally deep people you'll meet
• Avoidance is a coping behavior, not a life sentence

Practical Tools

• When to reach out vs. when to hold back during space
• How to regulate yourself so your words don't come from panic
• The difference between connection and pressure in your messages

The "Decoding the Delay" Game: Next time someone doesn't text back immediately, challenge your brain's negative bias. Maybe they're just working, crafting a thoughtful response, or being human.

Resources

• Episode #210: An Avoidant Partner's Story: https://www.buzzsprout.com/admin/1763017/episodes/16379882-210-when-your-avoidant-partner-needs-space-a-story-of-coming-back-to-life
• Song: "Hold My Hand" by Jesse Glenn
• Live Masterclass: "What to Say (and Not Say) During Space" - September 27th, 2025 at 12pm EST for $39
• 30-Day Love in Limbo Roadmap

Key Quotes "It's not a texting problem, it's an emotional regulation problem." "Space doesn't end relationships, miscommunication does."

Take Action Join the Live Masterclass: stacibartley.com/live-masterclass

Timestamps:

• 01:36 The Emotional Impact of Silence
• 14:33 The Danger of Labels in Relationships
• 28:32 Navigating Space and Separation
• 37:44 Conclusion and Resources

Send us a text

When someone you love pulls away, the question on loop is: Can we come back from this, or is the distance proof it’s over? If you’ve lived through weeks of silence, guarded talks, and feeling miles apart while sitting side-by-side, this one’s for you.

Relationship mentor Staci Bartley, with Tom and Brooke, answers real listener questions about what happens after space: when reconnection is actually possible, how to handle the first reach-out, and how to name your needs without sounding pushy or needy.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• Why a real return is possible (and what has to change for it to hold)
• The three commitments that reset a relationship: want it, let the past teach you, skill up
• How to handle the first check-in after space so you don’t dump all your pain at once
• A simple weekly check-in agreement that protects connection while you rebuild
• Why communication fails without emotional regulation (and how to do an “emotional pushup”)
• How to express needs without control or collapse

Listener questions we tackle

• “Can my partner really come back after being emotionally checked out?”
• “When they finally reach out, how do I start without making it all about my hurt?”
• “How do I communicate my needs after space without sounding controlling or needy?”

Timestamps:
02:15 Emotional Check-In: First Question
02:38 Understanding Emotional Withdrawal
06:18 The Importance of Wanting It
07:56 Reconnecting Without Dumping Hurt
09:59 Self-Regulation During Space
13:45 Balancing Emotional Support
22:31 Effective Communication Skills
28:29 Conclusion: Reclaim Your World Challenge
33:26 Final Thoughts and Resources

Next small steps:

• → Take the Surviving Space Self-Assessment to see your patterns under pressure here: https://space-assessment.scoreapp.com/
• → If your results point to limbo, join the 30-Day Roadmap, the place to practice the skills that make reconnection possible here: https://stacibartley.com/30-day-roadmap

Send us a text

Your chest is tight. Your brain won’t stop spinning. Do you send the text…or go silent?

In this episode of Love Shack Live, Staci, Tom, and Brooke unpack what to do when your partner asks for space, and it feels like the beginning of the end.

You’ll hear Mia’s story, why “space” isn’t proof you’re unlovable, and how couples slide into the Default Option (limbo) when they haven’t learned the skills to stay connected under stress. We’ll show you how to shift from pressure to presence, make simple check-in agreements, and get your voice back without pushing your partner away.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

→ What “I need space” usually means (and what it doesn’t).

→ How the Default Option pulls couples apart, quietly, over time.

→ The questions that calm panic and create clarity.

→ How to ask for a weekly check-in (without sounding needy).

→ The difference between pressure texts and presence texts (with scripts).

→ Why feeling powerless kills connection, and how to get your voice back.

Pressure vs. Presence: Real Examples from the Episode

Pressure texts:

• “Hey, checking in again. It’s been 12 hours and I haven’t heard back.”
• “If you don’t want to lose me, you need to figure this out fast.”
• “Whatever. Do whatever you want.”
• “Well, if you really loved me, you’d be showing up differently.”

Presence texts:

• “I know you’re working through a lot. No rush. I’m here when you’re ready.”
• “I want to stay connected. Would you be open to a quick check-in every Sunday?”
• “I need to be honest. I’m struggling with the distance. I’m not here to rush you. I just want to know where I stand.”
• “I don’t need answers right now. I just want to stay connected in a way that works for both of us.”

Timestamps:

04:23 Understanding the Need for Space

05:51 Real-Life Questions from Listeners

07:46 The Illusion of a Perfect Relationship

10:10 Navigating Power Dynamics in Relationships

20:26 Creating Baseline Agreements

25:06 The Dangers of Powerlessness in Relationships

26:35 Understanding Black and White Thinking

27:55 The Importance of Communication and Asking Questions

30:11 Embracing Emotional Nuance

32:00 Client Story: Realizing Personal Responsibility

36:41 Fear and Insecurity in Relationships

40:53 Pressure vs. Presence: A Fun Quiz

44:53 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Next small steps:

• → Take the Surviving Space Self-Assessment to see your patterns under pressure here: https://space-assessment.scoreapp.com/
• → If your results point to limbo, join the 30-Day Roadmap, the place to practice the skills that make reconnection possible here: https://stacibartley.com/30-day-roadmap