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How to Stop Over-Functioning & Reclaim Your Energy

Are you exhausted from doing everything for everyone — at home, at work, and in your relationships?

In this episode of the Lemons & Pineapples Podcast I explore over-functioning — the hidden pattern behind burnout, resentment, and chronic over-giving. You’ll learn why so many capable, high-functioning women end up carrying the emotional, mental, and practical load, and how this pattern often starts in childhood.

I unpack how over-functioning shows up in relationships, family dynamics, and the workplace — and why it’s fundamentally a self-worth issue, not a productivity problem.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

• What over-functioning really is (and why it feels “normal”)
• How over-functioning and under-functioning keep each other in place
• Why saying yes resentfully leads to burnout
• The link between over-functioning, fear, and self-worth
• A powerful question that helps you start changing the pattern

If you’re tired of being the reliable one, the capable one, the one who “does it all” — this episode is for you.

👉 WATCH MY FREE OVER-FUNCTIONING MASTERCLASS
Go deeper and learn the practical steps to stop over-functioning and reclaim your energy HERE

Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share if this episode resonated with you 💛

If you’re done playing small and ready to lead yourself — you’re in the right place.

I’m Emma O’Brien — Martha Beck trained and certified life coach, HeartMath practitioner, and shamanic healer helping high-achieving women stop second-guessing themselves and finally trust their own voice.

Through nervous system re-calibration, strategic coaching, and deep energetic work, I help you move from self-doubt to self-trust so you can create a life you actually want to be in — no external approval required.

🌀 Want to work together?

Explore the 6-week Nervous System Reset, 1:1 coaching, or Shamanic Soul Retrieval sessions here: emmaobriencoach.com

Questions or ready to chat?

DM me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach
or book a free connection call HERE.

Send us a text

Divorce can feel like an ending… but what if it’s actually a portal?

In this episode, Emma O’Brien is joined by Isabelle Ulenaers—psychologist, trauma specialist, and best-selling author—who supports women through the emotional aftermath of divorce using a neuroscience-informed blend of psychology, coaching tools, EFT, EMDR, and somatic integration.

Together, we explore why the hardest part often isn’t leaving the marriage… it’s everything that follows: the identity collapse, the shame and guilt, the fear of being “the villain,” and the slow realisation that you’ve been abandoning yourself in tiny, socially acceptable ways for years.

You’ll also hear powerful re-frames—like why it’s okay to leave a relationship that looks “fine” on paper, and how to begin coming back to yourself through small, grounded choices that rebuild self-trust.

In this episode, we cover:

- Why divorce isn’t a failure—it can be the beginning of freedom, identity, and self-return

- The “good wife / good mother” conditioning that keeps women stuck in roles they’ve outgrown

- How self-abandonment happens slowly and subtly—one micro-moment at a time

- The difference between guilt (I did something wrong) and shame (I am something wrong)

- Why leaving a “fine” marriage can feel harder than leaving an obviously bad one

- Isabelle’s Michelin restaurant vs burger and fries analogy (and why it hits so hard)

- What women actually need to rebuild after divorce: inner safety, nervous system regulation, and identity repair

- Why “What do I want?” can be too big at first—and the better starter question to ask

- The practical path back to self: noticing where you feel seen/heard, and where you disappear

- How fear works (and why it shows up the moment you change anything)

- The “fear witch” / Rapunzel metaphor: how fear keeps you in the tower—and how to move anyway

- A potent closing reminder: your needs are non-negotiable

A gentle reflection prompt (from the conversation) If “What do I want?” feels too big, try:

Do I want to be on this stage?

Where do I feel seen, heard, and connected?

Where do I abandon myself—and why?

Connect with Isabelle:

Connect with Isabelle on Instagram—send her a DM and she’ll guide you from there - @isabelle.ulenaers

Loved this episode?

If this landed for you, take a breath and let this be your permission slip:
You’re not “too much.” And you don’t need a dramatic reason to choose yourself.

If you’re done playing small and ready to lead yourself — you’re in the right place.

I’m Emma O’Brien — Martha Beck trained and certified life coach, HeartMath practitioner, and shamanic healer helping high-achieving women stop second-guessing themselves and finally trust their own voice.

Through nervous system re-calibration, strategic coaching, and deep energetic work, I help you move from self-doubt to self-trust so you can create a life you actually want to be in — no external approval required.

🌀 Want to work together?

Explore the 6-week Nervous System Reset, 1:1 coaching, or Shamanic Soul Retrieval sessions here: emmaobriencoach.com

Questions or ready to chat?

DM me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach
or book a free connection call HERE.

Send us a text

In this episode, I’m sharing the 12 powerful reflection questions I’m personally using to make sure that 2026 is not another year on repeat.

If you’ve ever reached the end of a year thinking “Nothing really changed”, despite good intentions, this episode is for you.

I talk honestly about why 2025 felt like a Groundhog Day year for me, why internal change always comes before external results, and how clarity, self-honesty, and nervous-system-led reflection are the foundations for real transformation.

✨ The 12 Questions to Reflect On for 2026

1️⃣ What went well in 2025?

What were your wins? What brought you joy, growth, or insight?

2️⃣ What didn’t work?

What felt heavy, draining, misaligned, or simply didn’t move the needle?

3️⃣ What patterns repeated in 2025?

In work, relationships, or behaviours, and what part did you play in keeping them alive?

4️⃣ What gave you energy and what drained it?

Who and what lit you up? Who and what left you depleted?

5️⃣ Who truly supported you?

And who couldn’t meet you where you were?

6️⃣ What did 2025 teach you about who you are becoming?

What identity shifts happened beneath the surface?

7️⃣ What do you want to be celebrating at the end of 2026?

Be specific. What does “success” actually look like for you?

8️⃣ What are your top 3 priorities for 2026 and why?

The why is everything when motivation dips.

9️⃣ What habits, behaviours, or beliefs need to be released?

What’s quietly keeping you stuck or playing small?

🔟 What daily or weekly practices will support you?

Especially practices that regulate your nervous system and keep you grounded.

1️⃣1️⃣ Where did you experience the most joy or peace last year?

And how can you consciously create more of that?

1️⃣2️⃣ If you met your future self at the end of 2026…

What would they thank you for starting now?

💫 Want to Go Deeper?

I’m hosting a New Year Reflection & Intention Setting Workshop where we'll:

- Break unconscious patterns
- Shift limiting beliefs
- Ground intentions into your nervous system
- Journey to meet your future self

📅 Wednesday 7th January
🕖 7pm UK | 9pm South Africa I 2pm EST I 11am PST
🎥 Replay available
💷 £22

👉 All details and the booking link are HERE

Thank you, as always, for being here and sharing this space with me.
I’ll see you in the next episode 💛

If you’re done playing small and ready to lead yourself — you’re in the right place.

I’m Emma O’Brien — Martha Beck trained and certified life coach, HeartMath practitioner, and shamanic healer helping high-achieving women stop second-guessing themselves and finally trust their own voice.

Through nervous system re-calibration, strategic coaching, and deep energetic work, I help you move from self-doubt to self-trust so you can create a life you actually want to be in — no external approval required.

🌀 Want to work together?

Explore the 6-week Nervous System Reset, 1:1 coaching, or Shamanic Soul Retrieval sessions here: emmaobriencoach.com

Questions or ready to chat?

DM me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach
or book a free connection call HERE.