Rav Shlomo Katz and the women of Shirat David move from “Do they feel our love?” to something even more subtle, and often more powerful: do they live inside our loving thoughts?

Building on the classic Chassidic framework of the three “garments” of the soul, machshava (thought), dibbur (speech), and ma’aseh (action), we explore three ways love is revealed, and why most homes naturally excel at action (providing, doing), struggle with speech (saying it clearly), and almost completely overlook thought.

A striking line lands hard: a child’s inner voice is shaped less by what we say… and more by what we consistently think. We unpack the “telepathic” reality kids pick up on, why negative bias hijacks our minds, and why pure machshava can be the deepest gift that quietly changes everything downstream.

Along the way, we connect it to Ahavat Hashem, bringing Maimonides (Rambam): “m’derech ha’ohavim… she’hem choshevim b’ahavah” — it’s the way of lovers to think in love.

This week’s avodah: notice what “invades” your loving thoughts… and practice returning to the simple, holy sentence: “Of course I love my child.”
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For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.com
Join Rav Shlomo Katz's WhatsApp Community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KHKOhhPaeHx5Kb74WL9L9a?mode=ems_copy_t

CHAPTERS
00:00 Opening and Sponsor Acknowledgments
01:39 Thought, Speech, Action Sequence
03:10 Three Ways to Express Love
05:35 Parental Investment in the Three Garments
06:37 Importance of Thinking Before Speaking
08:23 The Heart’s Role and “Opening Your Heart”
12:14 Why Parents Excel in Action
13:58 Why Speech Needs Improvement
17:55 Why Thought Is Almost Absent
22:52 Does Thinking Love Actually Matter?
25:46 Machshava as Tefillah and Presence
28:56 “A Child’s Inner Voice Is What I Think”
32:57 Why Machshava Feels Unmeasurable
36:44 Thinking Love From the Child’s Existence
41:27 Thoughts That Expand Space vs. Clog It
43:56 Why We Struggle With “Free” Love-Thoughts
46:22 How Pain/Judgment Invade Love-Thoughts
48:08 Machshava as the Core of the Soul
50:09 Parenting with Pure Thought: Guarding the Heart
51:25 Next Steps: Focus on This Week’s Study

What if your child knows you love them… but rarely hears it?

In this week’s Know Your Children, Rav Shlomo Katz and the women of Shirat David draw a sharp line between ahavah nisteret (love that exists but stays hidden) and ahavah gluyah (love that’s felt because it’s expressed). Most of parenting is “industrial”—laundry, food, homework, logistics—and yes, it often comes from love. But when love isn’t spoken, kids can grow up emotionally unsure, even inside a home that’s doing “everything right.”

Using a mashal from marriage (“I provide everything. Shouldn’t that be enough?”), we explore why provision isn’t the same as connection, why waiting until a child is in crisis is too late, and how small, consistent habits—especially verbal expression and short, regular conversations—can change the emotional climate of a home.'

This isn’t about guilt. It’s about learning to say what’s already true so your child can actually receive it.
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For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.com
Join Rav Shlomo Katz's WhatsApp Community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KHKOhhPaeHx5Kb74WL9L9a?mode=ems_copy_t

CHAPTERS
00:00 Opening and Sponsor Acknowledgements
01:07 Shiur Overview: Imperfect Love
05:28 Identifying Two Problems in Parental Love
06:54 Guilt as a Trigger
08:09 Patience and Compassion for Ourselves
10:09 Emotional Layer Small in Daily Life
13:12 Measuring Basic Needs
21:26 Hidden vs. Revealed Love Question
23:56 Hidden love in daily parenting gestures
25:17 Rental car story and parental love realization
29:08 Love often known to parents but not felt by kids
30:27 Wife's expectations beyond financial provision
31:33 Constant verbal communication vital in relationships
34:56 Examining parent-child emotional connection
42:34 Preemptive emotional conversations with children
46:53 Love must be revealed, not hidden, with kids
49:21 Metallica Covers and Unexpected Lullabies

Do our kids know we love them… but still not always feel it?

Rav Shlomo Katz and the women of Shirat David take on one of the most sensitive (and real) parenting questions: a parent can be full of love — and a child can still experience “You don’t love me.” How does that happen?

Building off last week’s foundation (that a parent’s love can’t be “perfect” in the way we wish it could be), we explore:

• Why a child’s inner world often works in all-or-nothing terms (“If it’s not 100%, it’s nothing”)
• How “You hate me” is rarely about facts — and almost always about experience
• The Chassidic idea that inside a “sheker” there can be a spark of truth to redeem (instead of reacting defensively)
• Why the first move isn’t “fix it” — it’s finding the shoresh (where the feeling is coming from)

And we end with a powerful next step for the series: the importance of verbal love — bituy miluli — especially for parents who struggle to express what they deeply feel.

A shiur about love, truth, and building a home where children can walk with a real “shield of love”, even when life gets messy.

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For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.com
Join Rav Shlomo Katz's WhatsApp Community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KHKOhhPaeHx5Kb74WL9L9a?mode=ems_copy_t

Chapters
00:00 Opening & Sponsorship Acknowledgements
01:26 Today’s Question: Do Children Feel Our Love?
04:39 Three Types of Parental Responses
05:51 Why Kids Don’t Always Experience Love
08:28 Validating Feelings vs Arguing Facts
09:32 What to Do When a Child Says “You Hate Me”
11:15 Find the Source Before Trying to Fix
15:24 The Assumption: The Feeling Isn’t “Factually True”
17:42 The Spark of Truth Inside a Child’s “Sheker”
22:30 Where Real Insight Comes From
23:35 End-of-Life Regrets: Work vs Home
24:45 The Pride of Providing — and What Kids Still Need
26:16 Obligation vs Love (and how kids read it)
28:01 If Love Were “Perfect,” Kids Would Feel It Naturally
33:31 The Weak Spot: Where Kids Find “Proof” You Don’t Love Them
36:47 The “Love Funnel” and Why Leaks Change Everything
43:38 Next Week: The Power of Verbal Love
44:41 Personal Story: A Home of Tears & Expression
45:59 The Airport Handshake Moment
47:12 Why That Handshake Stayed for 20+ Years
48:34 Closing + Hope for the Week