“I’m stupid.” “I’m going to fail.” “If I don't get an A, I'll never get into college.”

As parents, hearing our children engage in negative self-talk can trigger our own "Internal Critic." We feel the urgency to fix it, to argue against it, or to problem-solve the pain away. But what if our "fix-it" mode is actually closing the door on connection?

In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with Dr. Kathleen Diaz to define what negative self-talk actually is—and why "unhelpful self-talk" might be a more effective term. We dive deep into the experience of the inner critic, exploring why children and teens ruminate and how their behaviors—like defiance or withdrawal—are often communicating the disappointment they can't yet put into words.

In this episode, we discuss:

1. The Problem-Solving Trap: Why "normalizing" or "investigating" a child’s failure can accidentally lead to invalidation.
2. Behavior as Communication: How to spot the inner critic in teens who aren't speaking their thoughts out loud.
3. The Parent’s Internal U-Turn: What to do when your child’s struggle triggers your own fears of not being a "good enough" parent.
4. The Power of Repair: How to move back into your "Smart Brain" (Prefrontal Cortex) and fix a conversation when you’ve reacted from a place of fear or dysregulation.
5. Precision over Frequency: How to communicate expectations in a way that builds a "Secure Base" rather than a "Manager" dynamic.

Whether you are navigating an elementary schooler’s math meltdowns or a teen’s high-stakes anxiety, this episode provides a roadmap for moving from "investigator" to "vessel of support" through curiosity and radical accountability.

About Our Guest: Dr. Kathleen Diaz is a licensed therapist specializing in child and adolescent mental health, focusing on evidence-based strategies to help families navigate emotional regulation and the complex inner dialogue of the modern student.

Links & Resources:

1. Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter for monthly parenting tips and practice resources.
2. Podcast Library: Catch up on previous episodes of Kids These Days.
3. Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for daily reflections and the messy middle of parenting.
4. Website: Learn more about our specialized evaluations and therapy services at www.integratedbhs.com.
5. Dr. Kathleen's Bio

Legal Disclaimer:

Navigating the school system can feel like learning a foreign language. Between IEPs, 504 plans, MTSS, and specialized educational jargon, parents often find themselves overwhelmed and unsure of how to get their child the support they actually need.

In this episode, Dr. Courtney is joined by Rachel Schopp, a K-12 veteran, former administrator, and educational consultant. Rachel acts as a "translator" for families, helping them cut through the noise and move from guessing to becoming informed, powerful advocates.

If you’ve ever wondered if your child’s ADHD or anxiety warrants a formal plan, or if you’ve been told "the school is already doing everything they would do in an IEP," this episode is for you.

1. The "Environment vs. Curriculum" Rule: Rachel’s simple framework for distinguishing a 504 Plan (environmental accommodations) from an IEP (individualized instruction and curriculum changes).
2. Civil Rights vs. Education Law: Why a 504 is a lifelong protection and an IEP is a legally binding educational mandate.
3. The "MTSS" Trap: Why "informal" supports aren't enough and how to respond when a school says a formal plan isn't necessary.
4. The Power of the Paper Trail: Why "if it isn't in an email, it didn't happen" and how the clock starts the moment you hit send.
5. Collaboration over Confrontation: How to draft a "Soft Startup" email to your child's teacher that assumes positive intent while holding firm boundaries.
6. The Intuition Factor: Learning to trust your gut as the expert on your child, especially when "school performance" doesn't match the struggle you see at home.
7. A Tool, Not a Label: Reframing special education as a temporary scaffold to build self-advocacy skills, rather than a lifetime commitment.

1. Work with Rachel: Find resources and advocacy support at Allied Education.
2. School Visit Questionnaire: Going on school tours and having a clear plan on which questions to ask, will empower you with the information you need to make the best school choice for your child and your family! Check it out.
3. The Co-Parenting U-Turn Workbook: If school stress is triggering conflict in your marriage, download our roadmap to break the cycle here.
4. Book a Consultation: If you are seeking a neuropsychological evaluation (ADHD, Autism, or Learning Disabilities) to support your child’s school advocacy, book a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation with our team at

We hear the term "Self-Care" everywhere—usually accompanied by images of three-hour spa days or solo vacations. But for parents in the "messy middle," those things don't just feel rare—they feel impossible. When we can't achieve the Instagram version of self-care, we end up feeling two things: Guilt and Pressure.

Today, Dr. Courtney is joined by Dr. Brittany Wade, a Licensed Psychologist and founder of Thrive Child Psychology. Together, they are stripping away the "luxury" label and reframing self-care as what it actually is: Nervous System Regulation. If you’ve ever felt like getting the dishes done was "self-care," or if you struggle to ask your partner for the rest you actually need, this episode is for you. We’re moving beyond the "to-do" list to help you build a Secure Base for yourself so you can be one for your children.

1. The Self-Care Myth: Why we need to stop viewing self-care as an "extra" to be earned and start viewing it as a biological necessity for regulation.
2. Productivity vs. Regulation: The hard truth that checking off your to-do list (like cleaning the baseboards or doing the dishes) is productivity, not self-care.
3. The Self-Care Grief Process: Acknowledging and mourning the loss of the "old version" of yourself who had unlimited time for gym sessions and solo travel.
4. Equal vs. Equitable Rest: Why a 50/50 split of chores doesn't account for who is the most "depleted," and how to negotiate for "Equitable Rest" with your partner.
5. Modeling Regulation: Why the "Selfless Parent" narrative actually harms our children, and how modeling self-care provides them with a regulatory toolkit for life.
6. Micro-Regulation: Small, 5-minute shifts you can build into your current schedule—from the "coffee in silence" to the "three breaths in the driver's seat."

1. [03:29] – Redefining Self-Care: Why it’s not a luxury, it’s regulation.
2. [05:53] – The "Guilt and Pressure" cycle: Why self-care often feels like another chore.
3. [08:37] – Self-Care vs. Leisure: Understanding the difference between a hot shower and a round of golf.
4. [12:38] – The Modeling Aspect: Why your kids need to see you taking deep breaths.
5. [14:26] – Practical Strategies: Exercise, family walks, and protecting 30 minutes.
6. [15:50] – The Morning Reset: The clinical value of coffee in silence.
7. [18:43] – Parenting Reframe: Why self-care doesn't always have to be done "alone."
8. [21:55] – The Productivity Trap: Why the dishes are not self-care.