Taming the Inner Critic: Navigating Negative Self-Talk with Dr. Kathleen Diaz

“I’m stupid.” “I’m going to fail.” “If I don't get an A, I'll never get into college.”

As parents, hearing our children engage in negative self-talk can trigger our own "Internal Critic." We feel the urgency to fix it, to argue against it, or to problem-solve the pain away. But what if our "fix-it" mode is actually closing the door on connection?

In this episode of Kids These Days, Dr. Courtney sits down with Dr. Kathleen Diaz to define what negative self-talk actually is—and why "unhelpful self-talk" might be a more effective term. We dive deep into the experience of the inner critic, exploring why children and teens ruminate and how their behaviors—like defiance or withdrawal—are often communicating the disappointment they can't yet put into words.

In this episode, we discuss:

1. The Problem-Solving Trap: Why "normalizing" or "investigating" a child’s failure can accidentally lead to invalidation.
2. Behavior as Communication: How to spot the inner critic in teens who aren't speaking their thoughts out loud.
3. The Parent’s Internal U-Turn: What to do when your child’s struggle triggers your own fears of not being a "good enough" parent.
4. The Power of Repair: How to move back into your "Smart Brain" (Prefrontal Cortex) and fix a conversation when you’ve reacted from a place of fear or dysregulation.
5. Precision over Frequency: How to communicate expectations in a way that builds a "Secure Base" rather than a "Manager" dynamic.

Whether you are navigating an elementary schooler’s math meltdowns or a teen’s high-stakes anxiety, this episode provides a roadmap for moving from "investigator" to "vessel of support" through curiosity and radical accountability.

About Our Guest: Dr. Kathleen Diaz is a licensed therapist specializing in child and adolescent mental health, focusing on evidence-based strategies to help families navigate emotional regulation and the complex inner dialogue of the modern student.

Links & Resources:

1. Newsletter: Sign up for the Kids These Days Newsletter for monthly parenting tips and practice resources.
2. Podcast Library: Catch up on previous episodes of Kids These Days.
3. Instagram: Follow @integratedbh for daily reflections and the messy middle of parenting.
4. Website: Learn more about our specialized evaluations and therapy services at www.integratedbhs.com.
5. Dr. Kathleen's Bio

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