Join Dave and Bethlie as they discuss the third book in this series entitled Books That Can Help and Why. This series they'll be discussing Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman.

1. About the author
   1. Dr. Leman is a psychologist and best-selling author
   2. He is also a radio and tv personality
   3. He is a speaker
2. About the book
   1. Dr. Leman says that sex is about the quality of your entire love life
   2. His book is a challenge to give your spouse the best gift ever—a sexually enthusiastic mate
   3. Not just a how to book but a do it yourself look at why to do it and how to do it better
   4. He writes about what goes on in our brains and in our relationship with our spouse and how to overcome some errors and also to use what we learn to our advantage
3. A few good points
   1. “The physical aspect will usually take care of itself if the relationship is healthy. If you decide to become sexually adventurous as a couple, you’re not going to do things perfectly, anyway; you’re going to fail, and hopefully, you’ll laugh about it when you do. Nobody’s sex life is such that every experience is a ten. You may have to be satisfied with regular eights or sixes and even an occasional three. P 10
   2. This book is written “to hep you understand what a unique and wonderful gift you are to each other, as well as the unique and wonderful ways you can express your love in a very physical and pleasurable sense.” P 10
   3. “Sex is part of a relationship.” P 12
   4. “Why do you think that God reserves sex for marriage? I believe that one of the reasons (which gets very little attention, unfortunately) is that good sex is not easy and it’s very personal.”
   5. “Abstinence doesn’t make the loins grow hotter, it just begets more abstinence.” P 184
   6. “We live in a world that glorifies youth, uncommitted sex, and bodies that require a ridiculous amount of self-serving time in the gym. Let’s turn that around. Let’s reaffirm the bodies of women who have generously and selflessly produced life for one, two, three, or four babies. Let’s appreciate those men who work hard to support their families and who don’t have time to stop off at the gym and lift weights because they’re eager to get home and play with their kids” p 238[‘;;
4. A few challenges from the author about reading the book
   1. One to you who are living together but not married - this book is not for you
      1. “If you are living with someone outside of marriage, I suggest you move out and start over. The two of you may still make it work, but if you can’t make it work outside of marriage without being sexually active, odds are that the marriage will soon fall apart anyway.” p. 19
   2. One for those who are uncomfortable talking about sex in a forthright manner.
      1. He is rather frank. So be warned!
5. So some good quotes:
   1. Good lovers learn to know their lover better than they know themselves. You’ve got to stop viewing sex through your perception alone and start viewing in through your spouse’s eyes.” P 32
   2. Great marital sex is about learning to love someone else the way he or she wants to be loved. p. 33
6. Some recommended chapters
   1. Learning to make music, the first night and beyond
      1. Very good for those about to get married
      2. Very good in preparing for the honeymoon
   2. For women only
   3. For men only
   4. 31 flavors (not ice cream)
      1. 31 suggestions for keeping your love life exciting and fresh
   5. Turning off the turnoffs
   6. Sex’s greatest enemy
      1. For women - weariness
         1. Chapter 14 is called “too pooped to whoop”
         2. It gives practical advice for dealing with weariness
      2. For men - lack of pursuit on the part of the wife
         1. A man wants to be needed and wanted and prized
   7. Sex in the Winter - about getting older and how to face it and handle it well and enjoy sexual relations as you do

Dave and Bethlie continue their multi-part series on the book Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp.

Part 4

5. The rod defined - p. 104

1. “The rod is a parent, in faith toward God and faithfullness toward his or her children, undertaking the responsibility of careful, timely, measured, and controlled use of physical punishment to underscore the importance of obeying God, thus rescuing the child from continuing in his foolishness unto death.”
   1. It is a parental exercise
   2. 2. It is an act of faith in God and His Word
   3. It is an act of faithfulness - an expression of love and comitment
   4. It is an act of responsibility - not a parent determining to punish, but a parent determining to obey
   5. It is an act of physical punishment
      1. 1. Not venting or parental anger
         2. Not frustration
         3. Not based on a feeling of my child is bothering me
         4. It is always measured and controlled
   6. It is a rescue mission
      1. Rescues the child from continuing in foolishness
      2. To ignore your child’s rebellion against God’s authority is to ultimately brings God’s greater chastisement into their lives.

6. The Rod clarified

1. Not unbridled temper
2. Not the right to hit my child
3. Not venting or frustration
4. Not retribution
   1. Not payment but restoration
5. Not vindictive

7. The Rod objected

1. I love my child too much too spank
   1. You love yourself too much to spank them
2. I am afraid I will hurt them
   1. “Biblically-balanced discipline never physically endangers a child”
3. I am afraid it will make him rebellious and angry
   1. Proverbs 29:17 teaches the exact opposite
4. I am afraid it will teach them to hit
   1. Only if you spank in anger
5. It doesn’t work
   1. It doesn’t when you spank in anger or out-of-control
   2. It doesn’t when you are inconsistent
   3. It doesn’t when you fail to be persistent
   4. It doesn’t when you aren’t effective
6. I could be arrested for child abuse
   1. Only spank in the privacy of your home and do it right

Dave and Bethlie continue their multi-part series on the book Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp.

PART 3

4. His comments about the ROD are really good in chapter 11

1. 1. Children are not born morally and ethically neutral
      1. If they are they don’t need correction, just direction
      2. If they are not, then they need correction
      3. Our child’s problem is that he or she is a sinner!
   2. p. 102. Folly is the problem we have to address according to proverbs
      1. Folly is not childishness
      2. Folly describes the person who does not fear God
         1. A fools life is run by his desires and fears
         2. The fool lives out of the immediacy of his lusts, cravings, expectations, hopes, and fears
   3. The issue is authority
      1. Will a child live under the authority of God and his parents?
      2. Will he/she live under their own authority?
      3. All children choose to live under their own authority:
         1. I don’t want my diaper changed
         2. I don’t want to sit quietly at the table during this meal
         3. You are going to make me and if you do I will scream and throw a huge fit
         4. Leave this to take root and grow, and it produces “a rebellious teenager who will not allow anyone to rule him.”
         5. “God has ordained the rod of discipline for this condition.” p. 103
         6. “Confrontation, with the immediate and undeniably tactile sensation of a spanking, renders an implacable child sweet.” (p. 103)
         7. The quote on p 103 is massively important

4. The rod’s function

1. 1. 1. 1. 1. It imparts wisdom Pr 29:15, which is tied to the fear of god
            2. “It creates an atmosphere in which instruction can be given. The spanking renders the child compliant and ready to receive life-giving words.” (p 104)
            3. Tripp deals with the question - don’t all children eventually learn to obey? He say NO!! Proverbs 29:15, 17