Norm tries to make sense of the Cowboys’ Thursday night meltdown — a performance so bad it should come with a warning label. Between the defense taking the night off, the offensive line playing like they were on strike, Pickens running routes like he’s jogging a 5K, and penalties that felt like performance art, Dallas somehow turned a winnable game into a flaming 44–30 disaster. Playoff chances? Yeah… those packed up and moved out.

But don’t worry — Brandon Aubrey kicked really far, so everything’s fine. Totally fine.

CHAPTERS:

0:00 – Cowboys Faceplant Against the Lions

0:22 – Sponsor: Fluent Financial

1:24 – Aubrey Kicks While Everyone Else Crumbles

1:50 – Calling the Performance “Junk” Is Generous

2:07 – Defense? Nowhere to Be Found

3:01 – Secondary Gets Cooked

3:36 – Coverage Assignments From the Twilight Zone

4:03 – Detroit Runs Wild

4:32 – Offense Settles for Field Goals… Repeatedly

4:59 – Offensive Line Disaster Class

5:22 – Run Game Goes Missing

5:43 – Pickens Has a Night to Forget

5:58 – Penalties: The Gift That Keeps Ruining Everything

6:16 – Turnovers for Dallas, None for Detroit

6:42 – Playoff Picture? Crushed.

6:55 – Must-Win Scenario Fantasy Land

7:47 – The NFC East Dream Dies Again

8:07 – Fans Suffering, Players Should Be Too

8:27 – The Tape They’ll Watch Through Their Fingers

8:48 – Sponsor: Bob’s Steak & Chop House

9:29 – Full Moon Healing Balm Ad

10:43 – Sponsor Wrap-Up

11:05 – Follow the Show

11:36 – Norm & Mary Sign Off

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It’s Wednesday, December 3rd, and Norm is just wondering why the NFL insists on giving us a Thursday night matchup between two teams clinging to the playoff picture like a wet paper towel on a ceiling fan. Cowboys vs. Lions: one has momentum, the other has medical bills. One’s getting healthier, the other’s putting half their offense on IR. And yes—both somehow still have a shot at the postseason.

Norm breaks down just how desperate this “Survival Bowl” really is, why Detroit looks like a MASH unit, and why Dallas might accidentally stumble into relevance again. Then he pivots to the SEC, where Lane Kiffin is doing what Lane Kiffin always does: saying his “heart” is in Oxford while packing his bags for Baton Rouge and taking half the campus with him. Prayer? Please. Kiffin made his mind up before the postgame Gatorade dried.

It’s snark, it’s football, it’s Norm not buying a single ounce of coach-speak. Enjoy.

Chapters

00:00 - Norm Sets the Table for the “Survival Bowl”

01:24 - Cowboys & Lions: The Playoff Picture No One Wants

02:09 - Win and You’re Alive, Lose and You’re Compost

02:48 - Momentum: Dallas Is Hot, Detroit Is… Whatever the Opposite Of That Is

03:30 - Lions Go From “Contenders” to “Yikes” in Record Time

04:15 - Detroit’s Injury Report Looks Like a Hospital Directory

04:59 - Cowboys’ Injury Report: Basically No One Important

05:44 - Sponsor: Bob’s Steak & Chop House (Because Football Stress Requires Meat)

06:29 - Sponsor: Full Moon Healing Balm (Norm’s Battle with Blotches)

07:50 - Lane Kiffin: “My Heart Is at Ole Miss… Unless LSU Pays Me More”

08:35 - Why Kiffin Totally Lied About “Praying on It”

09:13 - Assistants Leaving Faster Than Fans After a Blowout

10:04 - The $12M Wink-Wink Nudge-Nudge Decision

10:47 - Norm Calls Kiffin’s Drama Exactly What It Is: Poppycock

11:19 - Sponsor Break #2

11:41 - Norm’s Sign-Off: Follow, Share, and Join Him for More Wondering

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Welcome back to Just Wondering with Norm Hitzges, where reality, logic, and actual numbers take a back seat to Cowboys optimism and ESPN’s interpretive math.

In today's episode, Norm dives head-first into the financial fever dream that is the Dallas Cowboys' upcoming offseason—specifically how they plan to keep newly beloved star wide receiver George Pickens, who has played so well that Jerry Jones is already drooling enough to short-circuit a microphone.

But wait—there’s more:

➡️ ESPN claims you can be both the underdog and the favorite in the same football game.

➡️ A college playoff graphic boasts 108% probability, suggesting someone at ESPN is using wishful thinking instead of a calculator.

➡️ Meanwhile, the Cowboys salary cap situation looks like someone tried to pay their rent, car payment, and a yacht out of a checking account with $47 in it.

If you love football, chaos, questionable math, or just enjoy watching reality slowly unravel—this episode is for you.

Chapters:

0:00 Good Morning, It’s Time to Panic About the Salary Cap

0:30 Mary Reads the Ad That Pays the Bills Jerry Jones Can’t

1:34 Meet George Pickens: Talented, Difficult, Worth the Drama

2:19 The Steelers Said ‘Good Luck’ and Dallas Said ‘We’ll Fix Him’

3:13 Pickens vs. Lamb? Yes. Yes He Is.

4:13 So… How Do We Pay Him? Asking for a Friend Named Jerry.

5:12 Salary Cap: Also Known as Fantasy Land Accounting

6:04 The Franchise Tag: AKA The Fastest Way to Make Pickens Furious

7:26 What Does a Happy Pickens Cost? (Hint: A Kidney)

8:21 Meanwhile: Dak, Lamb, and the Entire Roster Already Cost a Fortune

9:15 Add It Up: Ten Players. 272 Million. No, That’s Not a Typo.

10:58 Free Agents? Oh… Right. Them.

13:57 College Football and the ESPN Math Olympics

14:49 Wait—How Is a Team Both a Favorite AND the Underdog?

15:55 108% Chances… Because Apparently Numbers Are Feelings

16:53 Sponsors, Sanity, and Signing Off

17:45 Follow, Share, and Wonder With Us (Preferably With Correct Math)

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