ABOUT THE EPISODE:

Tough love. Two words that get thrown around constantly in the addiction world, and yet nobody can quite agree on what they mean. Kick them out. Cut them off. Save yourself. That’s the version I heard early on, and I couldn’t do it. Not because I was too soft, but because something about it felt fundamentally wrong - especially with a teenager.

In this episode, Cathy and I get practical on the topic of this illusive thing called “tough love.” We walk through the nine actual actions we took with our own kids, in order, from the very first steps all the way to the hardest ones (ones we call “strong love”) as a way of demonstrating action, not theories. Just two moms who were figuring it out as we went, without the language, community or support we needed at the time.

YOU’LL LEARN:

• What Dr. Gabor Maté said about tough love that stopped me cold
• Why I stopped using the phrase “tough love” and what I call it instead
• Nine “strong love” actions Cathy and I took with our own kids, and what we wish we had done differently
• The thing every person in recovery has told me about what finally changed things for them
• The two books I recommend to every parent, no matter where you are in this

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Heather Hayes on Hopestream episode 111
• Mary Crocker Cook on Hopestream episode 223
• Jessica Lahey on Hopestream episode 163
• Trish Ruggles on Hopestream episode 313
• Safe Enough To Change course in Hopestream Community’s Limited Membership

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Get our free, 4-video course, Hope Starts Here, and access to our Limited Membership here
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

When I first heard about a woodworking apprenticeship as an addiction recovery program, I was skeptical. And then I sat down with Jeremy French, founder of Making Whole in Asheville, North Carolina, and everything I thought I knew about what recovery has to look like got turned on its head.

Jeremy got sober at 17 after stolen cars, drug runs to Florida, and a flop house he describes as straight out of a Netflix series. He's been in recovery nearly 30 years, never finished high school, and built one of the most remarkable programs I've come across. A small group of men of all ages build high-end furniture together, share a daily meal, and are never forced to stay.

Of the 55 men who've graduated from Making Whole since 2018, 30 of them will tell you they are exactly where they want to be today. That is not a number you hear in this space. I was so intrigued.

You'll hear about:

• Why Jeremy credits drugs with solving nine out of ten problems in his life while he was using, and what that might mean for your child
• The two things true in every recovery success story Jeremy has witnessed, without exception
• The decision his parents made that changed his life more than anything else
• Why stepping back sends a different message than you think
• What addiction is actually solving, and why treating it as the problem keeps everyone stuck
• What parents who have lost a child would give anything to do, and what that could mean for you right now

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Making Whole website

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Get our free, 4-video course, Hope Starts Here, and access to our Limited Membership here
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

This solo episode is my attempt to provide answers to the question of why some families see greater change than others when using the CRAFT approach. Drawing on 6+ years of watching hundreds of parents move through this process, some gaining traction, some spinning their wheels, I’m sharing the 10 most common reasons why parents who are 'doing the work' aren't getting the results they want. It's a no-fluff audit of what might be holding you back, and it comes from my heart because there are no more important results to strive for than a healthy family.

If you've been at this for a while and feel like things aren't moving in the right direction, this one is for you.

You'll hear about:

• A foundational piece most parents skip without realizing it
• Why doing more often backfires
• A timing factor that determines whether any skill works
• The fastest path forward when communication has broken down
• Why inconsistency isn't a character flaw

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Hopestream Playlists - Start Here Playlist
• Jennifer Ollis Blomqvist on using Motivational Interviewing, Hopestream episode 306
• Dr. Emily Kline on using Motivational Interviewing for hard conversations, Hopestream episode 160
• Using Motivational Interviewing and CRAFT as a double punch effort to create change in your family, Hopestream episode 256
• CRAFT family resources and providers with Helping Families Help
• Using CRAFT, MI and Acceptance & Commitment Therapy together to help your child, Hopestream episode 260
• Stages of Change workshop
• Stages of Change downloadable cheat-sheet here
• Hopestream podcast episode 66 on the Stages of Change

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Get our free, 4-video course, Hope Starts Here, and access to our Limited Membership here
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.