Episodios

  • Knitting as Ancestral Memory: Grief, Yarn, and Hands That Remember

    Knitting as Ancestral Memory: Grief, Yarn, and Hands That Remember
    Jan 2 2026
    In this intimate episode of Halva for the Heart, I share a raw voice memo I recorded two years ago, just moments after I had the experience of my hands had been taken over by my ancestors ✨

    It happened when I had sat down to start a knitting project, but I couldn't remember how to cast on. After struggling for awhile and almost getting frustrated, something unexpected happened: my hands just knew what to do. It felt like my grandmother was moving through me, guiding me through a cast-on method I didn't remember learning. It got me thinking about yarn as memory, knitting as something our ancestors pass down, and how grief can actually live in your hands.

    This episode is about communing with your ancestors through fiber work, how your body remembers things your mind doesn't, and why knitting and stitching got written off as "just hobbies" when they're actually powerful spiritual practices.

    This episode is an invitation tp grieve through fiber, to let your ancestors teach you through your hands, and to trust that the wisdom is already there.

    In this episode, I explore:
    • Knitting as ancestral memory and embodied wisdom
    • Fiber, yarn, and cloth as grief companions
    • Why slow crafts are sites of resistance and care
    • Handwork as a way to grieve what was never taught
    • Passing down love through making, not perfection
    Invitation
    If this episode speaks to you, you’re invited to join our Fibers of Grief circle, a monthly online gathering exploring grief through slow stitching, yarn work, and visible mending as care practices.

    🧶 January’s circle focuses on working with yarn
    🪡 February’s circle will explore visible mending

    Sign up ➡️ here

    If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...
    • Leave me a 90 second voice note
    • Message me on Instagram
    • Send me an email
    Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
    Subscribe to my weekly newsletter

    🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân
    Más Menos
    32 m
  • Celebrating Yalda with Shahmaran: Winter Solstice, Grief, and Liberation in the Iranian Diaspora

    Celebrating Yalda with Shahmaran: Winter Solstice, Grief, and Liberation in the Iranian Diaspora
    Dec 18 2025
    In this episode of Halva for the Heart, I turn toward Shab-e Yalda, the ancient Iranian winter solstice holiday, and reflect on what it offers us as people living, grieving, and resisting in diaspora. I explore Yalda as a collective vigil through the longest night of the year, and how it initiates Chelleh-ye Bozorg: the 40 coldest, darkest days that mirror grief cycles, mourning traditions, and the necessity of communal care. Through the mythology of Shahmaran, the Kurdish queen of serpents, I reflect on winter as a sacred time for collapse, inner death work, and transformation personally, collectively, and politically.

    In this episode, you’ll hear:
    • what Shab-e Yalda and Chelleh-ye Bozorg teach us about grief and survival
    • how Yalda functions as a vigil and a form of ancestral death work
    • why Shahmaran’s underground cavern mirrors the womb/tomb space of grief
    • how Iranian mourning traditions align with seasonal cycles
    • why rest, collapse, and community care are essential for sustainable liberation
    • how Yalda invites solidarity, hope, and resistance in dark times


    🌑 This episode is an invitation to soften into the darkness, gather in community, and trust that the sun—and liberation—will return.

    Links:
    📘 Shab-e Yalda Guidebook
    🐍 The Omi Collective’s Shahmaran Azadi Zine & Talisman
    ❤️‍🩹 Join us in Dard-e Del
    🗝️ Narinder Bazen's concept of Inner-Facing Death Work

    If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...
    • Leave me a 90 second voice note
    • Message me on Instagram
    • Send me an email
    Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
    Subscribe to my weekly newsletter

    🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân
    Más Menos
    35 m
  • What is a Death Doula & Why might you work with one?

    What is a Death Doula & Why might you work with one?
    Dec 3 2025
    In this episode of Halva for the Heart, I talk through a question I’m asked all the time: What exactly does a death doula do?

    I share how death work isn’t only for people at the very end of life, it’s for anyone navigating mortality, grief, fear, or the desire to meet death with more intention and clarity. I walk through the many roles a death doula can hold: educator, advocate, companion, household support, vigil-sitter, home funeral guide, advance directive facilitator, and someone who brings ancestral, community-rooted care back to the bedside. I also speak about the long history of this work, how it existed for millennia before the medical system claimed the dying process, and why reclaiming these roles matters.

    Throughout the conversation, I keep returning to one truth: death doulas are an ancient role with a modern title.

    In this episode, I cover:
    • What a death doula is and the many roles we hold
    • Why death care is for everyone, not just the actively dying
    • The ancient history of community death care
    • How death doulas can advocate for your wishes at the end of life
    • Options like home funerals, body care, and spending time with loved ones after death


    If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...
    • Leave me a 90 second voice note
    • Message me on Instagram
    • Send me an email
    Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
    Subscribe to my weekly newsletter

    🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân
    Más Menos
    34 m
  • The Loneliness of Diaspora Grief: Remembering Bloody Aban

    The Loneliness of Diaspora Grief: Remembering Bloody Aban
    Nov 20 2025
    In this episode of Halva for the Heart, I reflect on Bloody Aban - the brutal massacre that killed over 1500 Iranian protestors in November of 2019 - and what it means to grieve this atrocity from diaspora six years later. I revisit the fear and confusion of those five days in 2019 when Iran’s internet was shut down, hundreds were killed, and many of us outside the country were feeling utterly alone in our grief. I also share the stories of five martyrs in particular, honoring their lives and the unbearable cost of state violence.

    In this episode, you’ll hear:
    • what made Bloody Aban feel so isolating for Iranians in diaspora
    • how Western media silence and orientalism shaped whose suffering was acknowledged and whose wasn’t
    • why the grief of Bloody Aban hardened in our bodies differently than other collective traumas
    • the privilege (and responsibility) of diaspora safety, and what it makes possible in our healing
    • why some grief (like that of Bloody Aban) may take years before we feel ready to face it
    🌹 This episode is an invitation to turn toward this grief gently with spaciousness, honesty, and compassion for where we each are in our process.

    Links:
    📘 Abangan Guidebook for Ancestral Reclamation
    🗺️ Abdorrahman Boroumand Center for Human Rights in Iran’s Map of Protestor Suppression
    ❤️‍🩹 Join us in Dard-e Del

    The five martyrs honored in this episode:
    🥀 Mohammad Dastankhah: Born in 2004, in Shiraz
    🥀 Mina Sheikhi: Born in Kurdistan, lived in Tehran
    🥀 Mohsen Mohammadpur: Born in 2002, in Khuzestan
    🥀 Puya Bakhtiari: Born in 1992, in Karaj
    🥀 Farzad Ansarifar: Born in 1992, in Khuzestan

    If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...
    • Leave me a 90 second voice note
    • Message me on Instagram
    • Send me an email
    Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
    Subscribe to my weekly newsletter

    🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân
    Más Menos
    45 m
  • Fibers of Grief: Knitting & Sewing as Grief Care

    Fibers of Grief: Knitting & Sewing as Grief Care
    Nov 4 2025
    In this solo episode of Halva for the Heart, I reflect on the ancient connection between fiber arts and grief care. From slow stitching and mending to knitting and quilting, I explore how our hands hold ancestral wisdom, how the rhythmic, tactile act of making with thread can help us process what our minds cannot.

    This episode weaves together:
    • reflections on fiber arts as embodied grief care, from quilting to visible mending
    • the story of Elizabeth Roseberry Mitchell’s Graveyard Quilt and other memorial textiles
    • how knitting, crochet, and yarn wrapping can become rituals of remembrance and release
    • my personal story about returning to knitting in grief, and the healing power of communal making
    ✨ Join the next Fibers of Grief gathering or download the free Slow Stitching with Grief guidebook


    Links:

    🧶 Fibers of Grief: online gathering every first Thursday of the month
    📘 Free Guidebook: Slow Stitching with Grief
    🧵 Melissa Word's Grief Threads
    🪦 Elizabeth Roseberry Mitchell’s Graveyard Quilt
    🏳️‍🌈 AIDS Memorial Quilt
    🕊️ Stitch Their Names Together: honoring Palestinians killed in Gaza
    🪡 Craftivist Collective

    If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...
    • Leave me a 90 second voice note
    • Message me on Instagram
    • Send me an email
    Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
    Subscribe to my weekly newsletter

    🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân
    Más Menos
    29 m
  • Creative Grief and Ritual Care with Yarrow Magdalena

    Creative Grief and Ritual Care with Yarrow Magdalena
    Oct 23 2025
    In this heartfelt conversation, I sit down with Yarrow Magdalena, a maker, writer, and grief companion living on the east coast of Scotland. Yarrow shares their journey into death work, from training as a death doula in 2019 to navigating profound personal loss after the unexpected passing of their mother in July 2024.

    Together, we share what it means to tend to grief through handmade practices using thread, cloth, and ritual, and how creativity can become a sacred space for healing.

    In this episode, we explore:
    • How Yarrow came to death work before experiencing major personal loss, and how their practice has deepened since their mother’s passing
    • The similarities and differences between various types of shock and grief — from a life-changing accident to sudden loss
    • The powerful practice of creating memorial quilts using loved ones’ textiles and clothing
    • Why hand-stitching and textile work can be such healing practices during grief
    • The importance of naming our identities, and how different aspects of who we are carry their own grief
    • Practical ways to be an activist for folks who are disabled, living remotely, or have limited capacity
    • Simple rituals that help, like creating a physical grief space in your home or working with tarot
    Yarrow also shares touching memories of their mother Marina, the gift of their last goodbye, and how they balance running two podcasts (Grief Glimmers and The Kind Business Podcast) while honoring their own grief journey.

    Be sure to head over to Grief Glimmers to listen to my episode on Yarrow's podcast.

    Find Yarrow’s work at glimmerportal.com and pinkwellstudio.com.

    If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...
    • Leave me a 90 second voice note
    • Message me on Instagram
    • Send me an email
    Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
    Subscribe to my weekly newsletter

    🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân
    Más Menos
    53 m
  • Mehregan: The Iranian Holiday of Harvest and Justice

    Mehregan: The Iranian Holiday of Harvest and Justice
    Oct 7 2025
    In this episode of Halva for the Heart, I invite you into the ancient Iranian holiday of Mehregan - a celebration of light, justice, truth, and friendship.

    I share the mythic story of Kaveh the Blacksmith and Fereydoon’s uprising against the tyrant Zahhak as told in the Shahnameh, and reflect on what these ancestral teachings offer us today: how we resist tyranny, anchor ourselves in community, and transform our grief into courage.

    I also speak about the upcoming Palestine Grief Circle on October 10th, a virtual space I’m co-facilitating with my friend Shivani (listen to my interview with them in episode 8). This donation-based offering is a way to honor our shared grief and fight for collective liberation, and to remember Mithra as the honored god of Mehregan and the guardian of truth and justice, and allow him to guide us in standing for what is sacred.
    👉 Join the Palestine Grief Circle

    Throughout the episode, I share ways you can celebrate Mehregan from wherever you are: creating a sofreh or altar, honoring the changing light, and tending the threads that bind justice, grief, and love.

    In this episode, I reflect on:
    • The mythology of Mithra, Kaveh, Fereydoon, and Zahhak
    • How Mehregan invites us to act for justice and truth
    • The connection between grief work and liberation
    • Simple seasonal and altar practices for Mehregan
    If you'd like to go deeper with the themes of Mehregan, I invite you to download the Mehregan Guidebook or join us in Dard-e Del.
    👉 Note: The Mehregan Guidebook is free for Dard-e Del members

    If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...
    • Leave me a 90 second voice note
    • Message me on Instagram
    • Send me an email
    Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
    Subscribe to my weekly newsletter

    🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân
    Más Menos
    37 m
  • An Interview with Woman Life Freedom

    An Interview with Woman Life Freedom
    Sep 18 2025
    Three years have passed since the Woman Life Freedom uprising erupted in Iran with the death of Jina (Mahsa) Amini. As an Iranian in diaspora, this movement changed me—it filled me with so much hope, and it also left me with heavy grief that I still carry today.

    In my work as a death doula, I guide people at the end of their lives through a process called a Life Review: reflecting on unfinished business, regrets, accomplishments, and hopes for what comes next. In this episode, I bring that same practice to a cultural scale, sitting with the Woman Life Freedom movement as if she were a dying person—asking her the questions I would ask someone nearing the end of their life and imagining how she might respond.

    This episode is both reflection and an invitation to honor the grief and legacy of Woman Life Freedom, and to consider how we carry her memory forward in Iran, in diaspora, and in ongoing movements for liberation around the world.

    If you're Iranian in diaspora and looking for community, joi us in Dard-e Del ❤️‍🩹

    📸 Cover image by Laura Acquaviva

    If you'd like to share what this episode brought up for you...
    • Leave me a 90 second voice note
    • Message me on Instagram
    • Send me an email
    Learn more about my work at my website www.hafezdeathcare.com
    Subscribe to my weekly newsletter

    🎵 Theme song: 'Lullaby' by Iranian oud player Negâr Boubân
    Más Menos
    26 m
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