We have taken a small summer break following our last episode and for good reason. The days have been hot and sadly, Rob's father passed away during the month of July. Today, he has decided to open up and discuss his feelings and address the grief.  As we delve into our collected 'summer mourning' we find time to talk of ghosts, relationships and our general malaise. It may not be the most cheeriest of topics but sometimes we must dance with the shadows to regain the light. So, dear listener, with the searing sun, the humid hours, with me and my German Sekt and Rob his Spanish red wine, we lift a glass to the darker domains of our lives, indulging in our libations while seeking a gentle plateau of peace. 

In this episode, I discuss the dichotomies of bravery/cowardice and truth/lies. I draw on parallels between today and in my childhood when I had to stand up to a bully in a moment of fear and trembling.  As for the modern world, we are seeing a true pandemic of accepted lies, where truth is scoffed at and blanketed over by false flags and other distractions. It is hard to live in truth, but many of us strive towards it. I dedicate this episode to those who have been cut off, abandoned by friends and family, fired, ridiculed and laughed at. Stay strong, someday our voices will be heard. 

This is my 21st episode to help cast off 2021. I feel it is fitting to look back on the years behind me, my healing and overcoming of ulcerative colitis and regard my journey through the lens of community, my closeness and distance to it. In this episode I discuss the sense of camaraderie I encountered in the company of classmates, co-workers and colleagues in the various places I studied and the jobs I worked.  While I have healed through connecting with my higher self and heart, the fuller sense of community has always remained elusive. This episode is bittersweet as I remember the good souls that helped guide and change my perspectives on life changing matters. I am grateful and sometimes wistful. Otherwise...otherwise... I wish everyone a happy and wondrous New Year. We all deserve it. Thank you for listening. 

 In this episode, I offer a mix of 'meat and potatoes' (namely facts) with some autobiographical moments and vignettes from May 2002. Before my diagnosis, I had to depend upon myself and learn a little about the digestive tract. While trying to pinpoint the core of my suffering, playing Sherlock Holmes with my own body, I encounter numerous, hopeless doctors and a sporty naturopath. Unfortunately, all of them offer me little in the way of help and insight. It's a long haul, this fact-finding mission. Yet, I am not going to make it to my specialist appointment coming up in July. I am falling apart, barely getting through a day. My father has to step in and, with him, we confront our clueless family doctor. 

 Dolli and I have been doing a podcast together for some time, and I thought I would share one of our episodes on my podcast, From the Jaws of the Lion. In this episode, we discuss truth, the difficulties of expressing it, the fears, the concerns, the qualms and in some instances, the healing aspects. I have decided to share this episode because I discuss how speaking my truth with family proved to be instrumental in my healing journey. In the future, I plan to do more interview episodes and discussions concerning healing with others. This episode ends season 2. 

In this episode, I turn to my adolescent past to investigate my early amores while also examining the influence of a certain girl. Lena captured my heart in a time I was on the cusp of branching out, gaining confidence with myself. Our flirtations were seemingly innocent and playful, only for her to steadily cause me frustration and eventually, her wiles from her 'singing eyes and fingers' would lead to a bitter betrayal and humiliation. For me, the damages, while hurtful, I cast them off, judging them to be superficial at the time. Yet, they would leave a lasting effect in future friendships and relationships.  

Recovering from Jolanta, I find both my body and psyche still need to mend.  It's a bit rocky for me and with school not working out, thankfully, I gain employment at a beer and wine store near the university. Now and then, I still visit the campus to get a hair cut, and have chats with my hairdresser, Amy. I also begin to make connections at my new job. It's a fun group to work with, some great colleagues. One of them is a young lady, attractive, sweet, and kind.  We have great conversations, though I have to wonder, the more I get to know her and myself at this time, are we falling for each other, or simply two people facing similar dilemmas in life when it comes to family, to illness, and our future?

In this episode, I am reflecting on my experience with being a friend and at the same time, being attracted to a conflicted female, Jolanta. Shortly after meeting her in a bartending course, I feel attracted, repulsed, angered and enamored by her presence. My fellow classmate, Dan, warns me I'm in for some trouble, yet I have to see it through. Jolanta is beautiful, intelligent and, at times, mysterious. Do I have a chance, or am I a plain fool, waiting around hopelessly for her to choose me?