In one of the stranger twists of fate, Mike slaps Jay with the exact movie Jay had been planning to assign next: the sun-bleached slab of questionable ‘80s excess known as Blame It on Rio. The infamous 1984 comedy stars Michael Caine and was directed by Stanley Donen, yes, the very same Stanley Donen who gave us Singin’ in the Rain. This time, however, decorum is tossed aside in favor of ribald “laughs” and some deeply uncomfortable subject matter. Did Jay recoil at the film’s themes and its eyebrow-raising approach to teen sexuality, or is there some strange middle ground where material like this can be examined without completely torching the conversation? The guys dig into it during the main review, and afterward count down their Bottom Five Black Sheep, misfires from Grade-A filmmakers whose D-list efforts quietly lurk in the shadows of otherwise celebrated careers. The guys next play a heart-felt game of Kick Two, Pick Two honoring Catherine O’Hara, the eccentric and endlessly hilarious star of film and television who passed away in late January. Finally, Jay shifts the blame away from Rio and places it squarely onto Mike, unveiling his next punishment: yet another cinematic misadventure dredged from the bottomless pit this podcast proudly calls home.

This week on Filmjitsu, Mike takes on As the Gods Will (2014), Takashi Miike’s candy-colored death-game nightmare where innocent children’s games turn lethally absurd in record time. Equal parts brutal, bizarre, and uncomfortably playful, it’s a film that dares you to keep up as the rules change and the bodies pile up because... reasons? After the main review, the guys unleash their Bottom Five Dolls, spotlighting cinema’s most cursed toys and plastic horrors. From nightmare fuel masquerading as playthings to designs that never should’ve escaped the prop department, this list proves one thing: if it has glassy eyes and a smile, it probably wants to hurt you. Then it’s time for Dueling Double Bills, as the co-hosts weaponize tangentially related films into a pair of competing double features and debate who understood the assignment better. Finally, the cycle of cinematic punishment continues when Mike reveals what fresh hell awaits Jay on the next episode.

On this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike bludgeons Jay with a three-hour, brown-toned cudgel of 1997 prestige cinema called The Postman. Another Kevin Costner-as-savior slog, this one delivers its punishment via sheer runtime, self-importance, and, somehow, Tom Petty as the mayor of a post-apocalyptic city. After the main review, pack a lunch and be sure to leave ahead of traffic as the guys discuss their bottom five movie jobs, because somehow there are occupations worse than being a mailman after the end of the world. Then, in a moment of genuine respect amid the carnage, Mike and Jay play a Carl Reiner memorial round of Kick Two, Pick Two, honoring the legendary director behind When Harry Met Sally, The Princess Bride, and countless other comedy classics. Finally, as always, the cycle of movie massacre mayhem continues when Jay reveals what fresh Hell he has waiting for Mike on the next episode!