In today's episode, we're talking about something a little unexpected coming from two marriage counselors: why you shouldn't always take our advice, or anyone else's, without checking with the Lord first.

We live in a world overflowing with sermons, reels, podcasts, coaching, challenges, and self-help. So much of it is helpful… but not all of it is helpful for you, and not all of it is helpful right now.

This episode is an invitation to slow down, breathe, and learn how to discern the difference between good advice and God's direction for your particular season.

⭐ Inside the Episode

Jamie's Story: When "Do It Afraid" Went Too Far

Jamie shares a pivotal moment in her journey with anxiety and how a sermon quote ("Do it afraid") became her life mantra for a season… until it began overworking her nervous system and pushing her into hypervigilance.

It wasn't bad advice; it was just no longer the right advice.
That's when God spoke a new word:
"My yoke is easy, and My burden is light."

Only the Lord knows what we truly need and exactly when we need it.

⭐ What Happens When We Treat Advice Like Scripture

We unpack why great advice can become harmful when we elevate it above God's timing:

⭐ Examples of "Good" Marriage Advice That Can Be Bad in the Wrong Season

We explore six common marriage principles that are wonderful but not universally timed:

⭐ What Scripture Says About Being Led by God

We walk through passages that remind us God leads personally and seasonally:

⭐ A Nervous System Perspective

Not every push is holy.
Not every challenge is healthy.
Sometimes "growth" advice puts your body into survival mode.

⭐ The SIFT Method: How to Discern What's Actually for You

A simple 4-step framework to help couples filter advice through prayer and peace:

⭐ Marriage Application: What This Means for Couples

Practical questions to ask one another.

⭐ Final Encouragement

Not all good advice is God's advice for you —
but God always has the right word for the right time.

✨ Stay Connected + Encouraged Every Week

If this episode encouraged you, we'd love to keep walking with you.
Sign up for our weekly marriage newsletter for devotionals, tools, and Christ-centered encouragement straight to your inbox:

👉 expeditionmarriage.org/newsletter

And don't forget to subscribe and share this episode with someone who needs it. ❤️

Every marriage walks through dry seasons, times when connection feels absent, emotions run low, and apathy sets in. But a dry season doesn't mean your marriage is dying; it often means God is doing deep, unseen work beneath the surface.

In this episode, we're digging into how to recognize, remain in, and receive from the wilderness seasons of marriage, and how to come out stronger on the other side. Using the story of Jesus' 40 days in the desert and a five-step framework, we'll help you find perspective, peace, and purpose in the desert places.

If your marriage feels weary or disconnected, this episode will remind you that God never wastes the wilderness—and new life can always come from dry ground.

🎧 Listen now and start walking toward renewal—together.

💧 In This Episode, You'll Learn:

• What a "dry season" in marriage really is, and why it's normal
• How to tell when you're in one (and what not to do about it!)
• The five steps to navigate the wilderness season well:
• What Jesus' own time in the wilderness can teach us about endurance and spiritual growth
• How God often uses silence, struggle, and stillness to deepen love and faith

🕊️ Key Scriptures Mentioned:

• Matthew 4:1–11 — Jesus led by the Spirit into the wilderness
• Luke 4:14 — Jesus returns "in the power of the Spirit"
• James 1:2–4 — Growth through testing produces perseverance
• Psalm 77:11–12 — "I will remember the deeds of the Lord…"

❤️ Takeaway Truth:

"Dry seasons don't mean dead seasons.
They're often where God prepares you for the next good thing He's about to do."

📣 Resources & Next Steps:

• 💾 Download the free Five Steps to Navigate a Dry Season in Marriage Worksheet: https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-164-dry-seasons-in-marriage-how-to-navigate-the-wilderness-together
• 🎧 Check us out on YouTube for video episodes on faith-filled marriage growth: https://www.youtube.com/@expeditionmarriage/featured
• 💌 Join our weekly marriage encouragement emails for practical tips and biblical truth at ExpeditionMarriage.org/subscribe

💬 Connect With Us:

Follow along on social media:
Instagram | Facebook | Pinterest → @ExpeditionMarriage
Visit: ExpeditionMarriage.org

When life gets heavy, stress often shows up in our marriages—not just in words, but in subtle cues, tones, and behaviors. In this episode, Chris and Jamie share why becoming a "PhD of your spouse" is one of the most loving and practical things you can do for your marriage.

💡 What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why stress "tells" matter and how noticing them can prevent unnecessary conflict and deepen empathy (Philippians 2:4).
• Common stress cues to look for—like withdrawal, red face, clenched jaw, irritability, avoidance, hypervigilance, or the "checked-out" mode on the couch.
• How to respond with love instead of defensiveness by pausing, checking in gently, and offering support without assumptions (Hebrews 12:14; Romans 12:18).
• What it means to become a "PhD of your spouse"—studying their patterns, stress responses, and emotional needs so you can build unity instead of division.
• Practical steps to breathe life into your marriage by identifying stress cues, supporting one another, and shifting from "me vs. you" to "we."

✨ Key Quotes from the Episode

• "Marriage thrives when we study one another."
• "Noticing your spouse's stress cues isn't about fixing them—it's about loving them well."

📖 Scriptures to Reflect On

• Philippians 2:4 — "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."
• Proverbs 10:19 — "When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent."
• Hebrews 12:14 — "Strive for peace with everyone."
• Romans 12:18 — "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."

🛠️ Free Resource

Download our PhD of Your Spouse Stress Cues Worksheet to help you and your spouse talk through your unique stress patterns and how you can support one another.

👉 https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-163-becoming-a-phd-of-your-spouse-how-to-recognize-stress-cues-and-respond-with-love

🎯 Call to Action

• Leave us a review (like Ilive4him24 did!)—your reviews help more couples find the hope and tools they need.
• Download your free worksheet and start the conversation this week.
• Check out Episode 134 with Dr Christine Baker on Nervous System Regulation in Marriage https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-130-nervous-system-regulation-in-marriage-with-dr-christine-baker/

Letting go isn't easy, especially when it comes to our kids. Whether they're stepping into adulthood, moving far away, or simply living life differently than we expected, this season of release can stir up a mix of emotions: pride, fear, loss, hope, and everything in between.

In this raw and heartfelt conversation, we're joined by our friends Brad and Lisa Valencia from the Unrelenting Pursuit Podcast to talk about what it really looks like to trust God with our children, a seaons they're right in the middle of. Together, we unpack how to surrender anxiety, manage expectations, and move from parenting to praying, finding peace in knowing that God's plans for our kids are even greater than ours.

If you're walking through a season of letting go, this episode will remind you that release isn't the end of your parenting, it's a new beginning for your faith.

🎧 Listen now for encouragement, perspective, and hope.

https://unrelentingpursuit.org

Remember when you were dating—those extra drives across town, late-night phone calls, sweet notes, and the way you rearranged your whole schedule just to be together? Back then, sacrifice felt natural. But somewhere along the way, many couples lose that intentionality.

In this episode, we dive into what it means to rediscover sacrificial love in marriage—not as a duty, but as a reflection of Christ's love. From everyday acts of kindness to laying down pride and preferences, we'll unpack why sacrifice is foundational for intimacy, trust, and unity.

💡 What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why couples often lose the art of sacrifice after marriage
• How sacrifice builds trust, intimacy, and a "we" mindset instead of "me vs. you"
• Practical, everyday ways to reignite sacrificial love
• The difference between being a doormat and choosing sacrificial love
• How reflecting Christ's love through sacrifice impacts your marriage, your children, and your witness to the world

📖 Scripture References

• John 15:12–13 — "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."
• Ephesians 5:25 — "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
• Romans 5:8 — "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
• John 13:35 — "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

🛠️ Practical Takeaways

• Put your phone down and give your spouse your full attention
• Do an errand your spouse dislikes
• Give up a preference to honor theirs
• Lay down pride and be the first to apologize
• Pray together even when life is busy

Challenge for the Week:
Choose one intentional act of sacrifice—big or small—for your spouse and see how it impacts your connection.

Big change isn't always what your marriage needs. In fact, sometimes the most powerful growth comes from the smallest, most consistent choices. In this episode, we talk about how to move the needle forward in your relationship—just 1% at a time—without the pressure of perfection.

💡 What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why the pressure to fix everything at once leaves couples feeling stuck
• The power of compounding small actions and how they can transform your marriage over time
• How lofty expectations of perfection can sabotage intimacy
• Why it's essential to address sin like pride, anger, or bitterness—rather than just covering it up with good habits
• What "moving the needle" might look like practically in your home
• How to let go of guilt and shame and replace them with God's daily mercies

🛠️ Practical Takeaways

• Choose one small thing to do better this week (listen more attentively, speak a word of encouragement, offer a small act of service, say "I'm sorry").
• Remember: consistency, not perfection, creates change.

🎯 Resources & Next Steps

If this episode encouraged you, we'd love for you to:

• Share it with a friend.
• Leave us a review—it helps other couples find hope and practical help
• Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for free resources

👉 And if you're ready for a guided plan to help you rebuild intimacy, safety, and connection in your marriage, check out our Restoring Connection Plan. As a special thank-you for listening, you can get 20% off using the code PODCAST20:
Click here to grab your plan

When your marriage is in a painful season, joy might feel like the last thing on your mind. But what if those small, lighthearted moments are not only possible—but essential for healing? In this episode, we're talking about why joy still matters in marriage, even when things hurt.

You'll discover how laughter, rest, and simply enjoying each other can soften hearts, reduce tension, and remind your relationship that hope is not lost.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• The reality of pain in marriage and how the brain processes emotional hurt as real and exhausting.
• Why joy is medicine—how laughter, fun, and rest release chemicals that calm stress and build safety.
• Biblical wisdom on joy, including Proverbs 17:22 ("A cheerful heart is good medicine") and Nehemiah 8:10 ("The joy of the Lord is your strength").
• Practical ways to bring joy back—from watching a funny movie to taking a break from "working" on everything and just being together.
• How choosing joy and rest builds resilience and reminds you that healing is still possible.

Scripture Encouragement

• Proverbs 17:22 – "A cheerful heart is good medicine."
• Nehemiah 8:10 – "The joy of the Lord is your strength."
• Psalm 16:11 – "In Your presence there is fullness of joy."

Call to Action

This week, don't focus only on what needs to be fixed—make space to simply enjoy each other. Recreate a joyful memory or try something lighthearted and new.

👉 If this episode encouraged you, share it with another couple who might need hope in their hard season. And if you haven't already, be sure to leave us a review—it helps more couples find the encouragement they need.

🔗 Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for more resources, tools, and support to help your marriage thrive.

Have you ever caught yourself assuming you knew what your spouse was thinking or feeling—only to find out you were completely wrong? That's what we call "The Usual Error"—and it's one of the most common causes of conflict, hurt, and disconnection in marriage.

In this episode, we'll unpack what the Bible says about making assumptions, why they're biblically unwise, and how to replace them with curiosity, humility, and God's wisdom to strengthen your marriage.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

1. What the Usual Error Is and Why It Hurts Marriage

• How assumptions create false narratives and unspoken expectations
• Why acting on unproven beliefs leads to miscommunication

2. Why Making Assumptions Can Be Spiritually Dangerous

• It's based on what's unproven → Leads to wrong conclusions
• It shows a lack of wisdom → Proverbs 18:2: "A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
• It causes division → Misunderstandings breed resentment and distance
• It reflects pride → Assuming we know our spouse's motives takes God's place as the only One who sees hearts

3. What the Bible Encourages Instead

• Practice humility and patience (Ephesians 4:2-3): Bear with one another in love
• Seek truth and discernment (Philippians 4:8; 1 Thessalonians 5:21): Think on what is true and test everything

4. How to Break the Usual Error in Marriage

Practical tools to shift from assumption to understanding:

• Pause before reacting: "Do I have proof, or am I assuming?"
• Ask clarifying questions instead of assigning motives
• Practice reflective listening to ensure you've heard your spouse correctly
• Invite God into the conversation through prayer and patience

5. Encouragement and Hope

Marriage is strengthened when you replace assumptions with curiosity and humility. Unity grows when you trust God more than your perceptions, opening the door for deeper connection, grace, and peace.