As the holiday season approaches, many couples find themselves hitting a quiet but undeniable breaking point. Something about this stretch of time—from mid-October through the new year—brings things to the surface. Maybe it's the reflection that comes with the end of a year. Maybe it's the pressure of finances, family expectations, or feeling like life is flying by. But without the closeness you hoped to feel by now. For many, it's a season where the question "Can we really keep going like this?" starts to creep in.

In this episode, we unpack a question so many couples wrestle with: Can one spouse change the marriage if the other isn't ready or willing? What happens when one person is trying, growing, learning... and the other seems stuck? Is it unfair to hope for more? Is it foolish to keep waiting? We're diving into the emotional weight of this question, why so many couples delay getting support, and what it really takes to shift the direction of your relationship. Especially in the seasons that feel the hardest.

In this episode we cover:

• The surprising reason many marriages reach a breaking point during this season

• The #1 personality trait that determines whether couples make it through hard seasons

• Why some partners resist working on themselves or the relationship until separation is on the table

• What delays couples from getting help—and how much damage that can do

• The emotional cost of carrying the growth for two people

To then interrupt destructive cycles and finally start moving forward together:

🎥 Watch the free 1-hour Marriage WebClass: [The 5 Root Causes of Conflict and Disconnection in Marriage & How to Overcome Them]

This is the fastest way to learn what's really underneath recurring arguments, disconnection, and shutdowns—and how to turn it around together. Couples say it gave them more clarity than 6 months of counseling.

👉 Watch this Marriage WebClass now [with this link here]

👉 See all of our practical resources here - from couples challenges, guides, and in-person events.

Have you ever thought about how your own stress affects your kids — or how your parents' stress might still be affecting you? In this powerful conversation with Dr. Taz Bhatia, integrative medicine physician, author, and founder of Hol+, we explore how the health of the parents — especially the mother — sets the tone for the entire family system. Because wellness isn't just about self-care… it's about the legacy you're creating for the next generation.

Together, we unpack how patterns of anger, overwhelm, and chronic stress get passed down in families — and how to finally break the cycle. In this episode you'll hear:

• Why stress isn't always bad, but becomes harmful when your body never feels safe (aka the cortisol hum).

• How unresolved emotions and disconnection show up in the body — from hormone imbalances to fatigue and resentment.

• The way childhood modeling shapes how we handle conflict and stress in marriage.

• Practical ways to track your body's signals (like HRV) and create a calmer emotional climate at home.

• Simple habits couples can build to protect their emotional and physical well-being — and, in turn, their kids'.

Dr. Taz also shares how she's disrupting the medical industry through her Hol+ network (add link) — an integrative system combining Eastern and Western medicine to care for families as a whole, offering both in-person clinics and virtual access nationwide. Her mission is simple yet profound: to help every family heal from the inside out.

This episode is a reminder that when one person in the family heals, everyone benefits. The health of your marriage, your body, and your home are all connected — and you have the power to create a new emotional legacy for your family.

You can find our most popular resources including our FREE Marriage Webclass: The 5 Root Causes of Conflict and Disconnection at - meetthefreemans.com/links

It seems like the "I need more space" and "I need to talk this out now" partners always find each other! This is the basis of the Pursuer/Withdrawer as well as the Anxious/Avoidant partner dynamics in marriage. When this dynamic happens, it always causes more tension, defensiveness, anxiety, and distance than the initial topic of conversation. If this sounds at all like dynamics you and your partner get into, you certainly are not alone!

In today's episode you will hear more detail about what's really happening for each partner, whether it is the need for space or resolution. There are many factors that contribute to this, like personality type and emotional processing capacity. But tune in to hear about details you would have never thought of, hear more about how this dynamic has played out in our own marriage over the years, and then specific steps you can take to keep this dynamic from escalating simple conversations. This will make you both feel even more secure, understood, and loved in your relationship.

👉 Don't forget to join us on our FREE Live Marriage Webclass on: The 5 Root Causes of Conflict and Disconnection in Marriage. This live event only happens 2x per year. If you can't attend live, still register, as we will send you the replay. So don't miss out!

Division isn't just a problem in the world—it's creeping into homes, marriages, and families everywhere. When couples start turning against each other instead of standing together, the bond that once felt safe and secure begins to weaken. In this episode, we're breaking down The 4 D's That Create Division in a Marriage: Dismissiveness, Defensiveness, Deflecting, and Divorce Threats. These subtle but destructive patterns slowly undermine connection and emotional safety, often without you even realizing it.

We'll clearly define what each of these behaviors looks and sounds like—and why they're so damaging to your closeness and trust. More importantly, we'll share how to stop them before they erode your foundation.

👉 And don't miss our live + free Marriage WebClass: The 5 Root Causes of Conflict and Disconnection in a Marriage. It's a topic we've never taught publicly before, packed with the exact insights and tools we use with coaching clients. Register now at OnlineCouplesWorkshops.com

Many times in marriage, you can start what you think is a simple conversation and have it turn into a miscommunication or even a conflict. It is frustrating when you are trying to simply communicate something and it isn't received by your partner.

In this episode we talk about the difference between productive and unproductive communication and what makes partners good communicators vs poor communicators. You will be surprised by the simple shift you can make and the massive difference it will make in how you each speak and listen to one another.

To dive further into the source of conflicts, attend our FREE LIVE Marriage Webclass on Oct 23rd: Navigating the 5 Root Causes of Conflicts. After this date you will be able to watch the replay as well.

For all of our resources visit: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links

When emotions run high in marriage, one of the most common traps couples fall into is what to do with each other's feelings. Should you validate them? Should you challenge them? Or should you just offer a quick solution so you can move on?

The truth is when emotional validation is missing or misunderstood, small hurts linger, conflicts spiral, and one or both partners can end up feeling dismissed, forced into solutions, or left unresolved. It's also one of the biggest complaints we hear from spouses…"you're not validating my feelings!"

In this episode, we unpack:

• Why couples often confuse validation with agreement

• The hidden ways spouses accidentally invalidate each other

• Why solutions don't stick if this piece is missing

• What actually creates the safety to collaborate, repair, and move forward together
  
  

If you've ever wondered "Am I supposed to validate even when I don't agree?"—this conversation is for you. Because the order in which you respond to your partner's emotions might be the very thing that determines whether you stay stuck… or actually grow closer.

Also, register for our LIVE + FREE Marriage WebClass coming up on: The 5 Root Causes of Conflict and Disconnection…and the Tools to Overcome Them!

Register For The Webclass HERE 👈

After our recent intimacy series, there were dozens of follow up questions from you all asking us to dive further into normal hormonal changes as we age and proactive steps you can take to age gracefully AND stay connected through the changes.

In this episode, double board-certified physician Dr. Amy Shah (women's health & nutrition) joins us to bust the "dad bod/mom bod is just aging" myth—and lay out practical, evidence-informed steps couples can use to sleep better, reduce stress, protect libido, and stay united through perimenopause, menopause, and men's steady testosterone decline.

In This Episode You'll Learn:

-Why "dad bod/mom bod" is more about habits + hormones than age

-The gut–brain–hormone loop that impacts mood, energy & attraction

-How to time difficult conversations around the cycle (and when not to)

-The midlife health stack: movement, strength, sprinting, nutrition, sleep

-Alcohol & hormones: why a 30–90 day break can be a game-changer

-Men's testosterone: fix root causes before quick fixes

-Labs that matter (and why symptoms often beat hormone numbers)

-The updated science on HRT for women—and when to consider it

-"Gray divorce": how to adapt as a team through this season

About Our Guest:

Dr. Amy Shah is a double board-certified MD and nutritionist focused on the gut-brain connection, women's health, and fitness medicine. Through AmyMD Wellness, books, speaking, and social channels, she helps people take control of their wellness with practical, research-backed tools.

Resource Links:

• Dr. Amy Shah: IG @dramymd • TikTok @dramymd • Website: amymdwellness.com

• Our most-used marriage tools & guides: meetthefreemans.com/links

• Work with us / in-person Couples Workshop Oct 5th (AZ): meetthefreemans.com/workshop

If this helped, tap 👍 + Subscribe for weekly tools to communicate better, de-escalate faster, and feel closer—through every season.

Episode Timestamps of What We Discussed:

02:34 Welcome + why we brought Dr. Amy on this topic

03:43 Health ↔ marriage: stress, cortisol, sleep & conflict

05:10 Listener question: attraction & a partner's "dad bod"

06:04 Why "dad/mom bod" isn't inevitable—habits + hormones

07:35 What healthy aging actually looks like (mindset matters)

08:58 The study: reversing heart age over 2 years (plan overview)

10:59 Modeling vs. nagging your partner's health

12:21 Women 30s–50s: perimenopause basics & early signs

14:01 Energy, sleep, gut changes & libido shifts

15:23 Estrogen vs. progesterone—"two sisters" in your brain

19:00 Don't make big decisions late-luteal; timing tough talks

23:03 Men's testosterone: steady decline & root-cause fixes

26:40 Alcohol & hormones: realistic targets + try a break

29:41 Movement, nutrition & why sleep is #1

32:07 Should couples go to bed at the same time?

33:04 Labs that matter; why symptoms often beat hormone levels

35:01 HRT for women (updated science) & considerations for men

37:50 "Gray divorce," shifting tolerance & communicating needs

41:16 Adapting habits together to age gracefully as a team

44:23 Where to find Dr. Amy + wrap

Are we getting too self-focused in marriage? In this episode, we unpack the cultural messages that push hyper-individualism ("fill your cup first") and show why great marriages are actually built on mutual care, not solo self-care. We talk about healthy vs. overcorrected boundaries, why prosocial actions (doing good for your partner) boost your own mood, how to shift from short-term impulses to a long-term family vision, and practical ways to "out-love" each other in daily life.

What you'll learn from this episode:

• The trap of "me first" and how it quietly erodes connection
• Mutual care vs. self-care (and why you can't get to 100% alone)
• Boundaries that protect vs. boundaries that avoid
• A neuroscience-backed reason to give more (and feel better)
• How shared vision → shared sacrifice → shared joy
• Simple ways to prioritize your partner without losing yourself

If this helped, drop a comment with your biggest takeaway, hit 👍, and subscribe so you never miss an episode. Reviews seriously help—thank you for taking a moment to rate the show!

Explore all our resources (Couples Workshop, 30-Day Challenges, guides & more): meetthefreemans.com/links

Episode Timestamps of What We Discussed:

0:00 Love is a commitment (not just a feeling)

1:15 Intro & topic: Are spouses becoming too selfish?

2:41 The myth of "self first," then the relationship

5:38 Mutual care over self-care (why you can't get to 100% alone)

9:31 Study: prosocial acts boost mood & connection

11:48 Boundaries: healthy vs the overcorrection

14:05 F1 analogy — from beginner rules to mastery standards

17:47 Culture: hyper-individualism & consumerism in relationships

20:54 Shift to long-term vision (let the future guide today)

22:30 Family values & the erosion of the family-oriented model

28:24 Why media rarely tells you what truly strengthens marriage

30:01 Interdependence & "out-loving" each other

31:25 Choosing your partner's needs: practical examples

32:46 Main takeaways & reminders

33:38 Love = commitment + shared vision

34:54 Closing: reviews, subscribe

35:12 Resources & sign-off