The Chrome Man has changed tactics. He's no longer waiting at the border—he's poisoning the ward potluck.

When funeral potatoes turn the congregation into smiling, agreeable husks, only one thing can break the spell: a nineteen-minute testimony about a cat named President Benson.

Also featuring: a mysterious seminary chalkboard that knows the future, the Dwelt Settlement's theological food storage dispute, and the return of Porter Rockwell.

"Niceness asks nothing and gives nothing. Kindness costs something."

Deseret Radio: Community radio from the Territory of Deseret. Weird fiction for Latter-day Saints and curious outsiders.

The Logic Bros have arrived. Armed with charts, calculators, and the dangerous weapon of explanation, they're debunking the miracles of Deseret one floating arch at a time. When dinosaurs start manifesting and a debate is demanded, our host faces Kyle in the Cultural Hall with nothing but absurdity and a potato.

Tonight’s broadcast covers the annual Deseret Unsanctioned Pinewood Derby, where physics are optional and speed is terrifying. Brother Miller enters a car painted in Vantablack that absorbs light and sound, while Sister Patterson enters a raw Russet potato.Meanwhile, the "Utah" influence breaches the foyer with a new "Smart-Sacrament Kiosk" that promises contactless covenants and efficiency but demands a terrifying Terms of Service agreement. Our intern Chase tries to hack the machine for a "Premium Gel Pack," leading to a collision between void-based physics and corporate logic.Sponsored by: Essential Oils of the Restoration (Try "Frankincense of Fear").Key Topics: * The Vantablack Pinewood Derby Car * The Smart-Sacrament Kiosk & Shadow Harvesting * Essential Oils of the Restoration * The "Un-formatted" Foyer#DeseretRadio #LDS #AudioDrama #Podcast #DarkComedy #MormonCulture #PinewoodDerby #SurrealHumor #Utah #IndiePodcas