Episodios

  • 502-How to Win an Argument: Interview with Dr. Kevin Downing

    502-How to Win an Argument: Interview with Dr. Kevin Downing
    Sep 26 2025
    Arguments that spiral out of control often leave behind words no one meant and wounds that take time to heal. Escalation may feel like “getting it all out,” but according to our guest today, it is actually poison to a marriage. Dr. Kevin Downing, founder of Turning Point Counseling in Southern California, has spent decades helping couples, pastors, and families find healthier ways to connect. His insights on escalation, self-control, and parenting bring both biblical grounding and practical tools. Why Escalation Is “Pure Poison” That Often Leads to Divorce Research from Dr. John Gottman revealed that the type of conflict in marriage can predict divorce. The number one predictor? Escalation. When escalation takes over, brain scans show that the logical, rational side of the brain shuts down. That’s why conversations in anger lead to slammed doors, reckless words, or ultimatums. With half the brain offline, no real problem-solving can happen. We often think that the “truth” does comes out during these heated moments of escalation, and sometimes spouses even push each other to the brink in an attempt to "get the truth out." But the reality is, this isn't so. The words spoken at the peak of anger are not reliable and usually bring regret. As Dr. Downing explained, escalation is pure poison for marriage. The Fruit of the Spirit in Your Marriage Scripture gives a different path. Galatians 5 teaches that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. Self-control means more than biting one’s tongue; it is the Spirit’s power to respond with gentleness when provoked. It is choosing a soft answer when the flesh screams for retaliation. This is what keeps hearts tender and marriages safe. Practical Tools for De-Escalation Dr. Downing offered practical tools couples can use immediately: Use “I” language. Instead of “You’re losing it,” say, “I need a few minutes to calm down. I promise to return.” Pause at night. Words like, “I love you. I’m not going anywhere. I’m sure we can work this out” create security before sleep. Reassure often. A 10-second “wedding-vow refresh” can melt deep insecurity: “You’re my one and only—for better or worse, for life.” Don’t debate history. Replace “I remember it better than you” with “We have different recollections.” Then drop it. Offer a new experience. Arguments rarely change minds, but kindness does. Just as a restaurant replaces a meal instead of defending reviews, a spouse can create change by responding with love instead of debate. How to Be on the Same Page about Parenting Conflict in parenting can be just as destructive if spouses are not aligned. But, Dr. Downing emphasized that parenting plans should not be created in the heat of a crisis. An argument is not the time to create a parenting plan, just like the middle of a storm is not the time to create a rain plan. You want to do these things outside of the state of chaos. Instead, couples should sit down calmly after the crisis is done and start with the big picture. What goals do you have for your children? You may ask yourselves: Do we want our children to be God-loving? Self-supporting? Respectful? Loving toward siblings and connected to church? Agreeing on these goals allows a united front in daily decisions. One of the greatest gifts for children is seeing parents present a unified approach. Correcting a spouse in front of the kids undermines authority and invites manipulation. Behind closed doors, differences can be discussed and resolved without giving children the leverage to divide. The Two-Minute Timeout Dr. Downing also shared a simple, powerful discipline tool for parenting: the two-minute timeout. When a child disobeys, responds disrespectfully, or hits a sibling, the consequence is two minutes with two questions: Why were you in timeout? Will this behavior happen again today or tonight? To establish safety and connection, younger children are also given a hug afterward. This short, consistent approach helps children take ownership while keeping parents calm. It prevents long punishments that discourage, as well as shouting matches that model escalation. In fact, the timeout often benefits the parent just as much—allowing emotions to cool so rational thinking returns. By the time children reach their teens, the drill is so familiar that a simple question—“Do you need a timeout?”—is usually enough to prompt self-correction. Final Thoughts Every couple disagrees sometimes, and every parent has those chaotic moments—but they don’t have to end in distance or regret. Escalation will always push hearts apart, but Spirit-led self-control and kindness can draw them close again. The beautiful truth is that transformation doesn’t always come through big, complicated steps. Often it’s the small, intentional choices—pausing before speaking, offering reassurance instead of accusation, giving a child two minutes to reset—that shift ...
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    1 h y 1 m
  • 343-Wage War Against Body Insecurity

    343-Wage War Against Body Insecurity
    Jun 9 2022

    TRIGGER WARNING: This trigger warning is for me as well as for you. If you have struggled with food issues like me (for me it was bulimia) this may trigger you. It may also give you hope that you can be free of it. I just want you to be aware of that risk. If you have freedom in this area it might not be worth you listening to this specific episode.

    --

    Body obsession has been a toughy for me all my life.

    Wanting to be thin.

    Wanting to be beautiful.

    Wanting to fit into x size jeans.

    Wanting to see x on the scale.

    (The number of New Year's resolutions based on this makes me embarrassed.)

    And once I am triggered about thinking I'm not thin, I would eat to assuage those hard feelings.

    Or other hard feelings, I'd eat.

    Was it sin?

    Was it a sin, for ME?

    Let's put a pin in that thought.

    I think a major way the enemy tempts us nowadays is through distraction.

    Is distraction a sin?

    Well, if God has a will for our lives and there are things that are getting in the way of that, that's what I would call sin.

    We can't be ignorant of his scenes.

    If your insecurity about your body robs you of sexual desire and confidence in the bedroom -- you need to wage war against this.

    God calls you to be a spouse.

    If something about your body makes you insecure, it is robbing you of the connection you are meant to have with your spouse. Men, maybe it's your member's size or belly, ladies, maybe it's your belly, body's shape, or giggle (believe me, I get it!!)

    That's why I mean to encourage you to wage war against this distraction.

    And honestly, if it's not allowing you to do God's will -- I call it sin.

    If the amount of thoughts that we give to something is greater than the thoughts we give to God (worshipping Him / His word / His tasks / His rest / delight with Him / loving His people well)

    ...then might we be serving an idol?

    I definitely was.

    And it's on me to wage war against that idol of body perfection because it hinders every other good thing God wants for me; what He's called me to be about.

    So, I hope you'll be encouraged that you can get freedom from this, as I believe it's a miraculous freedom I'm walking in now and have for some time. Thanking God for it!

    I hope it blesses you.

    Love,

    Belah

    PS -- We'd love to help you. Join a Clarity Call to help us know your situation and if we can help your marriage thrive in every area of intimacy - emotional, spiritual & physical. delightyourmarriage.com/cc

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    47 m
  • 500 Episodes! Your Influence & Joining DYM's in Our Next Decade

    500 Episodes! Your Influence & Joining DYM's in Our Next Decade
    Sep 12 2025

    When I hit “record” on the very first Delight Your Marriage podcast 10 years ago, my mic stand was a Quaker Oats container.

    I had a dream, a story, and a hope that I thought could help others.

    I just had a few loaves and fishes to offer—with a world in need.

    Now—500 episodes later—we’ve seen Him do it: hundreds marriages restored in our programs directly, many thousands of families transformed through our podcast, lives healed all over the world.

    And yet, this milestone isn’t just about what God has done at Delight Your Marriage—it’s about what He wants to do next, through all of us.

    Here are three lessons from this episode I believe will bless you right now:

    1) Do not be overcome by evil
    The world’s problems can feel overwhelming, but your greatest impact is in your sphere of influence—your heart, your habits, your marriage. That’s where revival begins. And it does spread!

    2) Do courage enough and it becomes confidence.
    At first, obedience to God feels risky and scary. But when you keep stepping forward with courage, it grows into confidence. And then it’s simply confidence in who you are and how God made you to be and impact others.

    3) Live the Love Chapter at home–first.
    1 Corinthians 13 isn’t just for weddings—it’s your daily assignment. Love is patient, kind, forgiving. Revival doesn’t start on stages—it starts in your living room.

    Hear how Delight Your Marriabe began and where we’re heading in the next 10 years! We’re going be in-person trainings (16 starting this fall!), best selling books, self-directed courses, certified coaches, live events, weekend retreats, and global impact—transforming marriages, churches, and even whole communities.

    We’re just getting started—and you’re part of it.

    With gratitude,
    Belah

    P.S. Even if you don’t listen right away, here’s how you can step into what’s next:

    For you

    • Book a Clarity Call to begin your own coaching transformation: delightyourmarriage.com/cc

    For others

    • Bring In-Person Training to your church or small group (launching January): hosting a group where marriages can heal in your community or church. Let us know if you would like to become a part: office@delightyourmarriage.com

    • Help us find the Director of Operations role – take a look or send it to a friend.

    • Partner with us financially to sponsor pastors and churches in need (tax-deductible): office@delightyourmarriage.com
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    54 m
  • 499-Sinful v. Holy Fierce Intimacy (Re-Release)

    499-Sinful v. Holy Fierce Intimacy (Re-Release)
    Sep 5 2025
    499-Sinful v. Holy Fierce Intimacy I was confused. There I was a new bride, having saved myself for marriage… only to find out that my new husband wanted me to do SINFUL things. Where did he get all this “inspiration” anyway? Oh, I knew: sinful places. So, of course, I refused. And of course, it brought mutual anger (covering each of our hurt). What’s your story? If it’s even remotely like mine, I needed to change the lens in which I was viewing sex. I wasn’t viewing sex from a biblical standpoint. I was viewing sex from a sexually perverted lens. (Even though I saved my sex for marriage, I certainly received messages from the world that perverted the purity and unashamedness that is meant to be in the bedroom.) I was thinking about a sinful visual I had, at some point, encountered that I knew was wrong. Instead of recognizing the COMPLETELY different and HOLY context of my marriage, I decided the act was associated with my experience that was not God’s will. Maybe you’ve gone through something profoundly tragic, if so, my heart goes out to you. And now you’re married and there are so many things that feel hard to move towards because of the past. There is hope. Hope for healing and even hope for desire. Be washed by truth. That’s my aim in this conversation. That you will realize that our God is a God of intimacy and freedom in your marriage. When you wash your mind with the truth of His design within the marriage bed, may you slowly wade (or dive in) into the waters of marital intimacy and find out it’s nice and warm (with your spouse 🙂 ) Biblical Sexual Boundaries: What God Says Clearly God’s Word is not silent on sexuality. We’re called to flee sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18), honor marriage and keep the marriage bed pure (Hebrews 13:4), and rejoice in the wife (or husband) of our youth (Proverbs 5). What does that mean practically? It means saying no to adultery, fornication, pornography, and lust outside of marriage. But it also means saying a big yes to intimacy within marriage. God designed it. He delights in it. And He calls it holy. Christian Sexual Freedom in Marriage Here’s the good news: within the covenant of marriage, you are FREE. Passion, tenderness, variety—when it’s just the two of you, it’s not dirty or off-limits. Too often, we add rules God never wrote. We act like Pharisees in the bedroom, burdening ourselves with shame. But Scripture doesn’t say you have to find every position or practice word-for-word in the Bible. It says to stay within God’s boundaries. That’s it. Inside those boundaries, freedom is His gift. Masculine vs. Feminine Sexuality in God’s Design I often talk about a helpful framework: feminine sexuality tends to be calming, connective, tender—while masculine sexuality is passionate, fierce, and energetic. Neither is wrong! In fact, both are needed! But here’s the key: most wives won’t feel safe to enjoy masculine passion until the feminine is deeply honored. Gentle connection lays the foundation for fierce intimacy. When both are present, intimacy becomes the oneness God intended. One Flesh Marriage Meaning When Scripture says the two become one flesh (Matthew 19:5), it’s not talking about shared bank accounts or chore charts. It’s talking about the mystery and beauty of sexual union. That oneness is not only for procreation—it’s also for pleasure, connection, and spiritual unity. You were designed to be “naked and unashamed.” That’s God’s original intention for your marriage. Repentance and Sexual Purity Here’s the challenge: what you consume shapes what you expect. If your eyes are fixed on media that glamorizes lust, adultery, or pornography, your heart will follow. Jesus warned us—lust in the heart is adultery (Matthew 5:28). But repentance is always available. God’s kindness leads us to turn back (Romans 2:4). His grace washes us clean and empowers us to start again. Inside His boundaries, intimacy is safe, holy, and life-giving. Healing and Hope for Your Marriage Bed If intimacy feels impossible for you—whether because of past sin, abuse, shame, or just exhaustion—please don’t give up. You can heal. You can rediscover joy. You can learn how God wired you for intimacy, and how to give and receive love in your marriage bed. I want you to know: fierce intimacy is possible, for men and women. And it is holy. Within God’s design, it’s not just permitted—it’s celebrated. Final Thoughts Friend, don’t let the enemy steal your freedom by pushing you into guilt—or into sin. God’s Word draws the boundaries, and inside them, He invites you to DELIGHT. We are rooting for you. Blessings, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - Ready to take the next step? Schedule a free call with one of our Clarity Advisors today. This free Clarity Call will give you insight into the health of your marriage and your best next step. Whatever is hindering you from taking your next step, you are ...
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    1 h y 3 m
  • 498-Creating Better Habits for a Better Marriage: Michael's Story

    498-Creating Better Habits for a Better Marriage: Michael's Story
    Aug 29 2025
    Creating Better Habits for a Better Marriage: Michael's Story You love your wife. You love your family. And you’d do anything for them. But if you’re honest… things don’t feel quite the same as they used to. Maybe you’re exhausted from work, the baby, or the endless list of responsibilities. Maybe your evenings with your wife now look more like two roommates collapsed on the couch—silent, tired, and just hoping tomorrow will be better. That’s exactly where Michael found himself. A good man. A loving husband. A dad who adored his toddler son. And yet—he noticed the spark in his marriage was fading. Instead of ignoring it, he made a decision that changed everything. And maybe that’s where you are today. Masculinity Reclaimed Foundations for Lasting Change Michael wasn’t looking for fluff. He wasn’t looking for self-help tricks that sound nice but fall flat. He wanted something biblical. Something that honored God’s design for intimacy. Something practical enough to implement while juggling fatherhood and career. That’s when he discovered Masculinity Reclaimed Foundations. From the very beginning, he noticed it wasn’t complicated. Daily gratitude. Encouraging words. Apologies when needed. Intentional listening. Simple? Yes. Easy? Not always. But transformational? Absolutely. Michael said it “sparked something new.” He began noticing his wife respond in ways she hadn’t before. Even more surprising—she started picking up the same habits he was practicing, without ever being taught them directly. One morning, while out on a walk, she said, “I forgot to write my gratitudes today.” Michael was stunned. Gratitudes were part of his new daily rhythm—something the program had challenged him to do. He hadn’t even invited her into it. But she saw his consistency, and she was inspired to follow. That’s the power of godly leadership. Christian Marriage Intimacy That Transforms Daily Life Michael realized intimacy was about more than the physical. Yes, God designed sex as a beautiful, holy gift—but intimacy starts long before the bedroom. When a wife feels safe, known, and wholeheartedly cherished, her heart opens. That’s the essence of Christian marriage intimacy: a holistic connection that touches body, soul, and spirit. For Michael, it meant slowing down. Looking his wife in the eye. Really listening when she spoke—not just nodding while his mind wandered. Offering compliments, even when it felt small. Expressing love, even in the middle of an ordinary day. And the results? Their evenings shifted. Instead of collapsing into silence, they began talking again. Laughing again. Rebuilding the kind of bond that made marriage joyful instead of draining. Maybe that’s what’s missing in your marriage. Maybe you’re craving closeness but don’t know where to start. Michael would tell you—start small. Gratitude. Encouragement. Listening. And watch how God multiplies it. Christian Husband Leadership That Inspires Your Wife Here’s the truth: someone has to go first. Too many men wait, hoping their wives will change before they do. But waiting is not leadership. Michael discovered that a Christian husband's leadership is about modeling the very change you want to see. Choosing gratitude when negativity feels easier. Speaking life instead of criticism. Creating joy where tension used to rule. Surrendering pride in order to serve. And his wife responded. Not because he pressured her. Not because he demanded it. But because love that reflects Christ is contagious. Friend, this is the hard but freeing truth: leadership begins with you. Your wife may or may not immediately change. But your consistent obedience to Christ’s call—to love your wife as He loved the church—will never return void. Marriage Transformation Stories That Stir Hope When Michael first joined the program, he rated his marriage a 7 or 8 out of 10. Good. Steady. But he knew something was missing. After stepping into these practices, his wife said something that stopped him in his tracks: “This has been transformational for our marriage.” That’s not just improvement. That’s restoration. And Michael’s story isn’t unique. Week after week, we hear marriage transformation stories from men all over the world—young dads, empty-nesters, husbands married for two years or fifty. The common thread? They chose to lead with love. To step into accountability. To embrace God’s way, not culture’s distortions. And God met them there. If He can do it for Michael, He can do it for you. Final Thoughts Let me ask you directly: where is your marriage today? Maybe it feels “good but not great.” Maybe the spark is gone, and you’re worried what things will look like in five or ten years. Maybe you’re exhausted from parenting and silently grieving the closeness you once had. Friend, you don’t have to settle. Michael didn’t. And the best part? His wife followed his lead without him ever ...
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    37 m
  • 497-Living a Life of No Regrets in Marriage and Faith

    497-Living a Life of No Regrets in Marriage and Faith
    Aug 22 2025
    497-Living a Life of No Regrets in Marriage and Faith [Re-Release] (Previously Titled: Changing OURSELVES in Light of Eternity) Hello, listeners! As we continue to work on our recording our very first in-person trainings, we hope you will enjoy some of the re-releases from the past few years of the Delight Your Marriage podcast (It has certainly been sweet to us to re-listen and share some of our favorites with you!) For this week, we hope you will enjoy a little bit of Christmas in the summertime as we talk about living life in light of eternity. Christmas is certainly a wonderful time to remember who Jesus is and why he is worthy of our lives, but we think a balmy day in August is a good time to remember that also. Enjoy this re-release and we look forward to sharing some other favorite episodes with you soon! God bless! Marriage as Your First Assignment Before God When we think about standing before Jesus one day, many of us imagine wanting to hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” But how often do we connect that vision with our marriages? The truth is, God has entrusted you with a spouse—not by accident, not as an afterthought, but as a sacred assignment. Your husband or wife is your first ministry. Loving God by Loving Your Spouse Jesus told us the greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength—and the second is like it: to love our neighbor as ourselves. And who is your closest neighbor? Your spouse. No one else can encourage your spouse like you can. No one else can pray for them, serve them, or provide safety and intimacy in the same way. Your marriage is one of the clearest ways to live out your love for God. When you choose to love your husband or wife with gentleness, patience, and sacrificial love, you are actually loving Jesus. Integrity, Intimacy, and Safety Loving your spouse well isn’t just about words—it’s about integrity. It’s about creating true safety by guarding your heart, your eyes, and your thoughts. It’s about saying no to distractions that cheapen your focus—whether that’s pornography, busyness, or pouring your energy into hobbies instead of your home. When you choose discipline, integrity, and faithfulness, your spouse experiences the safety God designed marriage to provide. And intimacy—emotional, spiritual, and physical—flows from that foundation. A Life with No Regrets This life is short. One day, you and I will stand before Jesus. What will we be able to say about how we loved? Did we prioritize our marriages? Did we love our spouses as Christ asked us to? Did we make sacrifices to ensure our marriages reflected His heart? The good news is—it’s not too late. Today, you can choose to love your spouse as your first assignment before God. You can choose to realign your priorities and live with no regrets. Your Invitation Your marriage is not just about you and your spouse—it’s about reflecting Jesus to the world. When you love your spouse well, you glorify God. Take some time today to ask: What does it mean for me to love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength? How can I show that love to my spouse in practical, tangible ways? What do I want to be true of me when I stand before Jesus? Friend, don’t waste the life God has entrusted to you. Start with the person He’s placed right by your side. Your first neighbor. You can do this. God bless you, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - If you are ready to join our Coaching Programs, we would love to chat with you! Schedule a free Clarity Call with one of our Clarity Call advisors and discover what your marriage needs to fully connected once again. PPS - We are doing a pilot launch in churches this Fall! The Masculinity Reclaimed & Delighted Wife programs that you know and love are being adapted for in-person groups and we cannot wait to show them to you. If you'd like your church to be a part of our pilot program, please check out https://delightyourmarriage.com/church/ PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "We were both resentful of how we treated each other. My expectations were rarely met and I could be quite cold. My moods would overflow into my parenting and even work. After 20+ years of this I had very little hope that things could change. I was not going to leave my family, but I did seek to escape through alcohol and pornography at times... [Now,] My wife has told me she feels safe. She has begun to trust that my change is not a passing fad. I have gained understanding in how to love her well. I look forward to being around her, and to pampering her and loving her well. This has overflowed into intimacy emotionally, spiritually, and physically...I didn't realize how much pain I was causing her, or how self focused I was. I was trying to get her to change and should have been working on me."
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    34 m
  • 496-Abiding in God’s Love by Living a Life of Surrender

    496-Abiding in God’s Love by Living a Life of Surrender
    Aug 15 2025
    Abiding in God’s Love by Living a Life of Surrender
    (Formerly Titled: Real Love Takes Sacrifice)

    We know the Bible says “God is love” (1 John 4:8) and that He loved us first. But if we’re honest, many of us spend more time wondering, “Does God really love me?” than asking the deeper, more revealing question: “Do I truly love Him?”

    That’s the heart of today’s message. God’s love for you is unshakable, unchanging, and eternal. The real question is whether your love for Him is genuine—and if it’s showing up in your life the way true love always does: through sacrifice.

    When You Don’t Feel God’s Love

    Maybe you’ve been a Christian for years but can’t remember the last time you felt God’s love. You’ve read the verses. You’ve prayed the prayers. But it’s like you’re in a spiritual drought.

    The truth? Feelings aren’t the measure of His love. But there’s often a missing link when we feel disconnected from God—and it’s not that He’s holding back. It’s that our love for Him hasn’t moved from words to action.

    Abiding in God’s Love Requires Sacrifice

    Jesus said plainly, “If you love Me, keep My commands” (John 14:15). Love isn’t just warm feelings or goosebumps in worship—it’s obedience. And obedience requires sacrifice.

    That sacrifice may look like:

    • Giving up your comfort

    • Laying down your need for control

    • Surrendering your demand to understand everything before trusting

    • Releasing opinions that don’t align with His Word

    It’s the same principle in marriage—love grows deeper when it’s willing to lay self aside for the other’s good. Our relationship with Jesus is no different.

    The Pearl of Great Price and God’s Love

    In Matthew 13:45–46, Jesus tells of a merchant who sold all he had to buy one pearl of great value. That’s what loving God looks like—letting go of everything else so you can fully hold onto Him.

    You don’t get the pearl without selling all. You don’t experience the fullness of God’s love without the surrender that real love demands.

    Beyond the Honeymoon: Abiding in God’s Love Daily

    Some of us have had that powerful, early experience with God—a “honeymoon” season where His presence felt constant and overwhelming. But just like in marriage, the relationship matures. The emotions may not always be intense, but the love grows deeper as it’s proven through daily, intentional sacrifice.

    Surrender: The Path to Experiencing God’s Love

    If you want a fresh revelation of God’s love, start here:

    1. Ask Him to show you where He’s calling you to surrender.

    2. Choose obedience in that area—even when it costs you.

    3. Trust Him with the outcome.

    When you give Him your heart in this way, you’ll discover what you can’t manufacture through feelings alone: the deep, abiding joy of walking in step with His love.

    Blessings,

    The Delight Your Marriage Team

    PS - If you’re ready to take the next step toward real transformation in your marriage, I’d love to invite you to a free Clarity Call. It’s a safe, judgment-free space to share your story, discover what’s been holding you back, and see if our program is the right fit for you. Don’t wait—your next season of connection, joy, and hope could start today.

    PPS - Here is a quote from a recent grad:
    "I have daily devotions now, I practice gratitude daily now. I have more confidence and less anxiety around people or stressful situation. I feel closer to God now...what could be a bigger impact than that?"
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    26 m
  • 495-Years of Counseling Didn’t Help, But Now After 35 Years They’re Better Than Ever

    495-Years of Counseling Didn’t Help, But Now After 35 Years They’re Better Than Ever
    Aug 8 2025

    After nearly four decades of marriage, Kim and Russ had done the hard work. They had raised five children, invested in professional counseling, read marriage books, and sought spiritual guidance.

    And still, something was missing.

    The breakthrough moments they experienced through the years never seemed to last. They still longed for a deeper connection and the kind of love they had always dreamed of.

    The Pain of “Almost” Fixing It

    Kim felt emotionally unsafe for far too long. Arguments were frequent, and intimacy had become something to endure rather than enjoy. She said, “We spent tens of thousands of dollars on counseling… but nothing stuck.”

    They had learned communication tools, gone on retreats, and practiced new habits—but it felt like patchwork. They both feared they’d never experience the closeness they longed for.

    What Made This Marriage Transformation Different

    When a close friend experienced radical transformation in her marriage through our program, Kim and Russ took notice. Russ joined the men’s program first—not out of crisis, but out of conviction. He realized he hadn’t been loving Kim as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5), and he wanted to grow.

    As Russ surrendered his old ways, Kim noticed a clear shift. He was more present, more loving, and no longer reactive. Over time, her heart softened too.

    Though initially hesitant, Kim eventually joined the women’s program, encouraged by the changes she saw and her own desire to grow.

    "I wanted to catch up," she shared with us.

    The Breakthrough They Couldn’t Find Anywhere Else

    What set this experience apart wasn’t just the information—it was the biblical framework, practical tools, and deep community that made lasting transformation possible.

    Together, they:

    • Ended their cycle of arguing

    • Rebuilt emotional safety and trust

    • Restored intimacy in every sense—physical, emotional, and spiritual

    • Learned how to love and respect one another as God intended

    Russ shared with us, "I’ve been in church all my life, but I never really learned how to live out Scripture in my marriage. This taught me how.”

    A Marriage They Never Thought Was Possible

    Today, Kim and Russ say their marriage is “a 9 or 10.” Not because it’s perfect—but because they’ve been changed from the inside out.

    They speak with laughter and warmth. They tease each other. They still work through conflict—but without yelling, shutdowns, or spirals that last for days or weeks.

    Now? They hold hands again. They share their hearts freely. They support each other’s needs—spiritually, emotionally, physically.

    Russ opens the car door for Kim every time. And she waits for him to do it.

    Healing Beyond Just the Two of Them

    The impact of their transformation has rippled outward—into their relationships with their grown children, with friends, and even in their church.

    What used to feel tense or guarded has become relaxed. Warm. Full of grace.

    When asked to describe their marriage today, each responded with one word: 'Delight' (Russ) & 'Thankful' (Kim).

    That’s not where they began. But by God's grace—and a willingness to grow—they now live in daily gratitude.

    For the peace in their home. For the tenderness in their marriage. And for the God who redeems all things.

    Blessings,

    The Delight Your Marriage Team

    PS - Are you were Russ & Kim were before? 35+ years into marriage and feeling defeated and discouraged? You are not alone and your marriage story isn't over. Schedule a free Clarity Call to take the next step.

    PPS - We are launching a Church Training pilot program this Fall! All the incredible material of DYM, created for weekly church trainings. It's going to change lives and we are so excited to see it! If you'd like your church to participate, check out our Church Training page for more info.

    PPPS - Here is a quote from (another) recent graduate:
    "Often my wife would complain that I wasn't listening, didn't understand her well, and that she was walking on eggshells all the time (that feeling was mutual). Even though we were good friends and we had regular dates and romantic times together, she didn't see any depth to 'us'...I realized that more than our intimacy, God wanted to meet me and change my heart…Finally God had my attention and He started working in many different areas of my life, that had just been swept under the carpet for far too long…[I] learned to truly put myself on the cross, to draw close to my wife and seek to minister to her needs first."
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    1 h y 17 m