Yes. I know. You're here for advice. But if Erin & Patty don't b&tch about the new Jurassic Park movie, we're never going to get anywhere this week. Now, please put on your Jeff Goldblum glasses and let's start the show.

For God's sake, whatever you do, do not approach Erin and assume that she works at the Pineapple Ranch. Just keep moving along and try not to make direct eye contact with her. I am telling you this for your own safety. Please try to enjoy the show.

Get the CREST. Get the COLGATE. Grab the floss. This week's "mini" is about to burrow a hole through your incisors. Now, please pass the chocolate covered peanuts and let's get this episode started!

We're picking, digging, and mining for gold in this week's episode. No need for a Kleenex. Just wipe this episode on your arm as God has intended it. Man. That's just nasty.

Where else can you go from fleeing the bombs in the Middle East, to fleeing the disgusting living conditions of our kids in college. You got it! Only here at DEAR POD: The Comedy You Can Bet Money You'll Hear The Word Poop At Least Once In Every Episode Advice Podcast. It just rolls of the tongue. Doesn't it?

And Just Like That we bring you another episode of advice, laughter, and I'm sure, another story that involves someone crapping their pants. Wopuld you settle for anything less. We didn't think so. Buckle up and enjoy!

Like it or not, after listening to this week's mini-sode, all you will want to do is run to your local record store, ask to be shown to the Phil Collins section, then say to the person, "I'll buy the lot!"! You're welcome, America.

Welcome to PART TWO of "This Can't Be True, It Sounds Too Much Like A Movie". Do Erin and her guys get home? Will her life forever be changed. Will there be gastric/stomach issues involved. If you are a long-time listener you may already know the answer to that last question. This. Is. DEAR POD.