Episodios

  • 298: We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things | DIYS w/ Spank Horton

    298: We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things | DIYS w/ Spank Horton
    Apr 24 2025
    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. https://www.betterhelp.com/diys

    What happens when comedian Spank Horton pulls up to Dam Internet, You Scary!? Shirtless birthday parties, wild drug trips, international thirst stories, detachable sea penises, and cows who hate country music. Hosts Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud go toe-to-toe with Spank in one of the most hilariously unhinged episodes ever.

    💥 From talking ketamine to awkward strip club returns, from Brazilian magazine girls to frogs getting divorced for too much rain—this one has it ALL.

    🎤 Hosted by: Tahir Moore & Patrick Cloud
    🎧 Guest: Spank Horton https://www.instagram.com/spankhorton/
    🎥 Produced by: @HippieGoals

    📍 Chapters + Timestamps below 👇
    📲 Subscribe & hit the bell for more weekly chaos!
    🔗 Follow us on socials: @daminternetscary
    ✂️ Best moments from this episode? COMMENT BELOW!

    0:00 - The Freestyle Is Wild Right Away
    2:01 - Spank Talks Getting “Fired” by Kevin Hart
    4:04 - Kev’s Workout Rules & Phone Calls at 6AM
    5:10 - Spank’s Birthday Turn-Up: No Shirt in the Club
    7:00 - “Would You Take Your Shirt Off In Church?”
    9:00 - Spank’s Freestyle to a Mario Trap Beat
    11:10 - Macy’s Catalogs & Magazine Shopping Woes
    13:00 - Brazilian Magazine Girls & "Ordering by Name"
    15:10 - Beauty in Brazil vs. Getting Kidnapped
    17:00 - The Artist Who Drew Himself on Every Drug
    20:30 - Ranking Drug Portraits: Weed, Cocaine, Meth
    25:00 - Everyone Admits Which Ones They Tried
    27:00 - DMT Trips, Hieroglyphics & Lucy-Level Visuals
    30:00 - Spank Tries Ketamine—Then Rips His Shirt Off
    32:00 - “We Don’t Do Drugs, We Just Try Things”
    33:45 - Cows Hate Country Music?!
    35:00 - Wagyu Cows Live Better Than Us
    36:15 - Women’s Self-Defense Gloves from the 1800s
    38:10 - Sea Creatures with Detachable D**ks 🤯
    40:00 - Frog Marriage & the Flood It Caused
    43:00 - Spank’s Favorite City for Beautiful Women
    45:00 - India, Mia Khalifa & Trash City in Egypt
    48:00 - Spank’s Chaotic Jamaica Trip w/ 90 People
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    1 h y 6 m
  • 297: Are Spiders Plotting Against Us? + Downtown LA’s Creepiest Secrets on DIYS w/Vanessa Graddick

    297: Are Spiders Plotting Against Us? + Downtown LA’s Creepiest Secrets on DIYS w/Vanessa Graddick
    Apr 17 2025
    🎙️ Welcome back to Damn Internet, You Scary! with your hosts @PatrickCloudChannel and @TahirMoore. This week’s hilarious guest is none other than comedian, writer, and mixologist-in-residence Vanessa Graddick! https://wwww.instagram.com/vanessagraddick

    In this episode:

    🍸 Vanessa drops drink game with edible glitter cocktails
    👮‍♂️ We dive into the wild conspiracy that Family Matters was a delusion created by Carl Winslow!
    🕷️ Spiders could theoretically eat all humans in under a year?! Say what?
    🌲 We explore the real-life Zone of Death loophole where you could legally get away with murder!
    🌆 Plus: the haunting side of downtown LA, from graffiti ghosts to pigeon-covered staircases.

    Don’t forget to like, comment, and SUBSCRIBE for more comedy, conspiracies, and chaos.

    💬 Drop your thoughts: What show from the 90s deserves a conspiracy theory?

    S/O to our Sponsors
    Blue Chew
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    play your first $5 lineup!

    0:00 - Kicking Things Off & Making Wishes at 12:34
    0:42 - Birthday Numbers & Seeing Patterns in Time
    1:21 - Can You Manifest the Clock?
    1:55 - Timing Needs to Be Organic
    2:29 - Sleepy Faces & Misinterpreted Drool
    3:02 - The Money Shot Debate
    3:15 - Titty Bang Failures & Bad Aim
    3:30 - Vasectomy Confessions & Reduced Velocity
    4:27 - The Brick House Blueprint
    5:03 - Invention: The Skee-Ball Sex Game
    5:37 - Olympic Score System for Sex
    6:14 - Global Expansion for Semen Games?!
    6:50 - Scoring Hair vs Headboard vs Butt
    7:35 - Missionary Skeeball Gets Competitive
    8:07 - Can Amazon Sell This?
    9:01 - Sitcom Theme Songs with a Trap Remix
    10:17 - Vanessa’s Glitter Cocktails & DIY Mixology
    11:22 - Frasier Love & Drink Inspiration
    12:12 - Sitcom Reboots & Night Court Talk
    13:49 - Kathy Bates in Matlock & Writing Classes
    15:17 - Sitcom Trap Beat Freestyle
    16:59 - Cheese is as Addictive as Cocaine?!
    17:32 - The Carl Winslow Multiverse Conspiracy
    19:42 - Typecasting & The Ghost of Urkel
    21:17 - Family Matters Is a Cop's Fantasy
    23:51 - Schizophrenia Dog Named Barbie 🐶
    24:35 - Could Spiders Eat All Humans?!
    26:20 - Slavery Stats & Spider Logic
    27:34 - If We Ate White People Instead of Chicken...
    28:40 - What If Don Julio Sponsored Cracker Barrel?
    29:58 - Ad Read: Bluechew Comedy Segment
    32:37 - Words We Can’t Say: Specificity & Naïveté
    33:43 - The Zone of Death: Legal Murder in Idaho?!
    36:08 - Yellowstone’s “Train Station” Theory
    38:43 - Downtown LA: Squatters, Drugs & Dodger Dogs
    43:57 - Man in a Diaper with Pigeons?!
    44:58 - Why Dodger Dogs Are Baseball's Real MVP
    45:40 - PrizePicks Sports Talk & Fantasy Betting
    51:20 - Cheese Debate Continues: Sharp Cheddar Wins
    55:55 - Vanessa’s Final Plugs & Upcoming Projects

    #DIYS #VanessaGraddick #FamilyMattersTheory #Spiders #ZoneOfDeath #ComedyPodcast #BlackCreators #urbanlegends

    Producer: @HippieGoals ​
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    57 m
  • 296: Frog or Lizard Afterlife? Terminal Man Story, Mario Debates + More | DIYS

    296: Frog or Lizard Afterlife? Terminal Man Story, Mario Debates + More | DIYS
    Apr 10 2025
    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

    On this episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir and Patrick go from conspiracy theories to hilarious hypotheticals. They dive into the real-life story behind The Terminal, uncover wild Mountain Dew conspiracy theories, and debate the practicality of Mario’s power-ups. Also—should you come back as a frog or a lizard in the next life? And how powerful is Dr. Doom really?

    We’re talking:

    Getting stuck in an airport for 18 years
    Frog butt cheeks
    Marvel movie hot takes
    Star or 1UP—what would you pick IRL?

    💥 Sponsored by Factor Meals & BetterHelp
    🍽️ Get 50% off at https://www.factormeals.com/diys50off
    🧠 Try online therapy at https://www.betterhelp.com/diys

    🔥 New episodes every week! Subscribe for more wild convos and nerd debates.

    0:00 – Intro + Martial Arts Fitness
    1:08 – Energy Drinks, Mornings & Sugar
    1:26 – Guest Cancellations & Old School Vibes
    2:00 – The Mountain Dew Conspiracy 🥤
    3:07 – The Terminal Was Real?!
    5:00 – Living in an Airport: Hacks & Struggles
    9:10 – Worst Airports Ranked ✈️
    14:30 – Vegas Airport = Chaos
    16:52 – Life Hacks & Crazy Tariffs
    18:00 – Billionaires Losing Billions
    20:00 – Jackie Chan Won’t Leave His Kids a Dime
    22:25 – Factor Meals Ad Read
    23:00 – Mario Star vs 1-Up Debate 🍄
    26:08 – Robbing a Bank with Mario Powers
    28:07 – First Animal That Doesn’t Need Oxygen
    30:25 – Animals That Don’t Drink Water
    34:13 – Would You Come Back as a Frog or Lizard? 🐸🦎
    36:11 – Poison Dart Frog Swag
    40:05 – BetterHelp Ad Read
    42:14 – Avengers: Endgame Deserves a Spot in Top 5
    44:13 – Marvel vs DC: Who’s Winning Now?
    48:00 – Doctor Doom is Tony Stark?!
    50:52 – Most Powerful Marvel Villains Ranked
    52:56 – Wanda’s True Power & Marvel Plotlines
    54:00 – Disney+ Pricing Woes
    55:00 – Sneak Peek: Sleeping Sickness Segment


    Join our Patreon now!!
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary
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    1 h y 7 m
  • 295: The Creepiest Ways to Memorialize Loved Ones?! | DIYS ft. MikeCakez

    295: The Creepiest Ways to Memorialize Loved Ones?! | DIYS ft. MikeCakez
    Apr 3 2025
    In this hilarious and wild episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir Moore and Patrick Cloud are joined by viral TikTok sensation Mike @MikeCakez famous for his iconic catchphrase "Sir, Sir!" Mike shares behind-the-scenes secrets of going viral, his journey from engineering to content creation, and how he deals with constant bans from social media platforms.

    They also dive into some of the creepiest stories on the internet, including turning ashes into diamonds, preserving tattoos from loved ones as keepsakes, and poisonous plants that leave their victims smiling in death!

    S/O TO OUR SPONSORS
    SKIMS
    https://www.skims.com/diys

    PRIZE PICKS
    Download the app today and use code DIYS to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup!

    BLUE CHEW
    Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code DIYS -- just pay $5 shipping. https://www.bluechew.com

    KIKOFF
    Building credit can happen faster than you expect with Kikoff. Don’t wait and get your first month for just a dollar at https://www.GetKikoff.com/DIYS.


    🔥 Episode Highlights:

    Mike’s origin story & viral success secrets
    Why Facebook might be better than Instagram for creators
    Turning ashes into wearable jewelry & creepy memorial tattoos
    The "smiling" deadly plant: hemlock explained
    Wild tattoo and skin preservation trends

    😂 Join the convo—would you ever turn a loved one’s ashes into diamonds or preserve tattoos? Let us know!

    🎧 Subscribe to Dam Internet, You Scary! for weekly comedy, weird internet finds, and incredible guest stories!

    #MikeCakez #DamInternetYouScary #ComedyPodcast #ViralVideos #TikTokFame #WeirdFacts #CreepyStories #PatrickCloud #TahirMoore

    00:00 – Intro & Special Guest MikeCakez
    00:22 – Mike's Viral Success & "Sir, Sir!"
    02:17 – Origin of the “Sir, Sir!” Voice
    03:37 – The Video That Started It All
    05:37 – Instant Viral Success on TikTok
    08:05 – Getting Banned & Deleted on Instagram
    09:26 – Facebook’s Hidden Benefits for Creators
    10:42 – Why Older Audiences on Facebook Engage More
    12:16 – Weird Fact: The Origins of Toasting Drinks
    16:10 – Preserving Tattoos from Deceased Loved Ones
    19:46 – Would You Wear Boots Made from Human Skin?
    21:34 – Turning Human Ashes into Diamonds
    22:43 – Buried or Cremated? Hosts Reveal Preferences
    23:23 – Tahir’s Ideal Funeral: Viking Style
    25:29 – Deadly Plant: The Smiling Death (Hemlock)
    30:37 – Poison Ivy, Oak & Sumac Horror Stories
    32:30 – "Land Before Time" Dark Facts
    35:27 – Mike's Engineering Degree
    38:42 – MikeCakez’s Surprising Origin: Born in France
    41:18 – Tahir’s Bad Experience in Paris
    42:20 – Dream Travel Spots: Egypt, Japan & South Korea
    47:25 – MikeCakez Wants to Try Skiing
    49:14 – Wild Historical Fact: Painless 1887 Dentist Ad
    54:39 – How Mike Deals with Fan Recognition
    56:03 – MikeCakez’s Struggles with Constant Sweating
    57:28 – Ancient Preserved Tattoos (2,500 Years Old!)
    59:18 – Final Thoughts & Episode Wrap-Up

    Producer: @HippieGoals

    Join our Patreon now!!
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary
    Más Menos
    1 h y 8 m
  • 294: Sneakers, Scents & Signs: The Grown Man Starter Pack on DIYS w/Dave Helem

    294: Sneakers, Scents & Signs: The Grown Man Starter Pack on DIYS w/Dave Helem
    Mar 27 2025
    The episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

    Welcome to Dam Internet, You Scary! 😱💻
    Hosted by Tahir Moore @tahirmoore & Patrick Cloud @PatrickCloudChannel
    🎙️ Produced by Hippie Goals @HippieGoals
    👤 This week’s guest: Comedian, writer & scent connoisseur Dave Helem @dhelem

    Guest: Dave Helem https://www.instagram.com/davehelem

    Sponsors:
    BetterHelp https://www.betterhelp.com/diys
    Factor https://wwww.factormeals.com/diys50off use code: diys50off

    00:00:00 – Intro & Early Banter
    00:00:21 – Zodiac Chat: Astrology & Celebrity Signs
    00:05:19 – Product Rants & Collab Commentary
    00:07:04 – Offbeat Moments & Real Talk
    00:07:41 – Home Hacks: Cleaning Tech & Modern Vacuums
    00:10:08 – Furniture, New Spaces & Home Makeovers
    00:11:48 – L.A. Lifestyle & Office Vibes
    00:14:01 – Hollywood & Social Commentary
    00:16:00 – Shoe Collection & Personal Style
    00:17:47 – BetterHelp Sponsor: Mental Health & Therapy
    00:20:11 – Shoe Swaps, Crocs & Lifestyle Rants
    00:24:03 – Cologne Countdown: Top Fragrances Revealed
    00:30:34 – Signature Scents: The Centerpiece Cologne
    00:32:58 – Scentbird Spotlight: Try New Fragrances
    00:36:23 – Health Journey & Factor Meals Sponsor
    00:41:05 – Personal Reflections & Cologne Mixology
    00:55:08 – Closing Thoughts & Future Hints
    ---
    This episode is WILD from start to finish! 🤯 We’re talking:
    ♓ Zodiac stereotypes & celebrity sign wars
    👟 Sneakerhead confessions + couch hacks
    🧼 Fancy vacuums, Roombas & grown man cleaning gadgets
    👃🏾 The ultimate cologne countdown—Dave breaks down his *Top 5* must-have scents
    🔥 Mixing colognes like a boss (and why it might get you some extra love 😏)
    🧠 Mental health matters: Real talk about therapy & BetterHelp
    🥗 Healthy eats made easy with Factor Meals
    💥 And of course, all the chaotic comedy you love from DIYS!

    ---

    Topics Covered:
    💬 Lifestyle, Astrology, Men’s Fashion, Sneaker Culture, Home Tech
    🧴 Cologne, Self-Care, Comedy, Black Creators, Internet Culture
    📈 SEO Keywords: Dave Helem interview, zodiac signs funny, best colognes 2025, black men fashion tips, BetterHelp promo, Factor Meals review, podcast for men, sneakerhead life, astrology comedy, men’s grooming tips

    ---

    👇🏾 Drop your favorite cologne in the comments & let us know your zodiac sign!
    Don’t forget to LIKE 👍🏾, SUBSCRIBE 🔔, and SHARE 📲

    #DamInternetYouScary #DIYS #TahirMoore #PatrickCloud #DaveHelem #BlackPodcasts #MensStyle #CologneReview #Sneakerheads #ZodiacSigns #AstrologyFunny #MentalHealthAwareness #FactorMeals #BetterHelp #SelfCareForMen
    Más Menos
    1 h y 6 m
  • 293: What’s Next for Content Creators? on DIYS w/ Michael Turner

    293: What’s Next for Content Creators? on DIYS w/ Michael Turner
    Mar 20 2025
    Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet!

    Michael Turner joins Damn Internet, You Scary! for a wild discussion on comedy, internet culture, and viral fame.

    But that’s not all—we also dive into AI conspiracies, the weirdest internet theories, and whether social media is ruining creativity. Is AI about to take over comedy? Will viral trends ever stop being so weird? Hit play and find out!

    🔥 Timestamps in the comments for easy navigation!
    🎤 Guest: Michael Turner (@michaelturnercomedy)
    🎧 LISTEN NOW on YouTube, Spotify & Apple Podcasts!

    #MichaelTurner #DamnInternetYouScary #AIConspiracies #ViralFame #StandUpComedy #InternetCulture #CancelCulture

    SPONSOR
    Blue Chew
    https://www.bluechew.com

    Join our Patreon now!!
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary
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    1 h y 2 m
  • 292: Conspiracy Corner | Comedian CP | Bell Witch

    292: Conspiracy Corner | Comedian CP | Bell Witch
    Mar 18 2025
    Is the Bell Witch the most terrifying ghost story in American history? 👀 In this episode of *Conspiracy Corner*, we dive into the legend of the Bell Witch—a sinister spirit that tormented a Tennessee family in the early 1800s. From eerie whispers to violent attacks, was it a hoax, a haunting, or something even darker?

    Joining us is comedian CP, bringing his hilarious and unfiltered take on one of the creepiest supernatural cases ever recorded. Will he be a skeptic or a believer by the end? Tune in to find out!

    🔮 **Topics We Cover:**
    ✔️ The origins of the Bell Witch legend
    ✔️ Haunting encounters & real-life testimonies
    ✔️ The visit from the US President
    ✔️ Could this ghost still be lurking today?

    🔥 Don't forget to **LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE** for more wild conspiracy theories, ghost stories, and unexplained mysteries!

    #BellWitch #ConspiracyCorner #GhostStories #Paranormal #HauntedHistory #Supernatural #ScaryLegends #ComedyPodcast #ComedianCP

    Join our Patreon now!!
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary
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    18 m
  • 291: How Close Are We to a Real-Life Skynet? Sydney Castillo Weighs In on DIYS

    291: How Close Are We to a Real-Life Skynet? Sydney Castillo Weighs In on DIYS
    Mar 13 2025
    Dam Internet, You Scary! hosts Patrick Cloud and Tahir Moore break down the disturbing but interesting stories on the internet! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

    Sydney Castillo joins Damn Internet, You Scary! to talk about the real struggles of comedy tours, wild audience interactions, and the secrets behind his shirtless FaceTime calls! We also dive into AI bots creating their own secret language (skynet vibes?!), a shape-shifting robot straight out of Terminator, and the biggest comedy club scams comedians face. Plus, don’t miss an epic freestyle session with a Texas twist!

    🔹 Comedy club secrets & shady deals
    🔹 AI bots speaking in code?!
    🔹 Sydney’s top-tier beard glow-up
    🔹 The real reason Tony Baker doesn’t answer calls

    Hit that LIKE & SUBSCRIBE for more hilarious deep dives and internet weirdness!

    🔥 LISTEN NOW on YouTube, Spotify & Apple Podcasts!
    📲 Follow us: https://linktr.ee/damscary
    🎤 Special Guest: Sydney Castillo @sydneyisfunny @MyCupIsFullPodcast
    👨🏽‍💻 Hosts: Patrick Cloud @patrickcloudchannel Tahir Moore @tahirmoore
    🖥️ Producer: Hippie Goals @hippiegoals

    Join our Patreon now!!
    https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary

    #ComedyPodcast #SydneyCastillo #DamnInternetYouScary #AIConspiracies #StandUpComedy #TonyBaker #FreestyleRap

    0:00 | Intro & Shoutouts
    0:23 | Planning a Vegas Trip
    1:03 | Old Musicians and Their Instruments
    2:01 | The Art of Fake Drumming
    2:56 | Sydney’s Shirtless Video Habit
    3:52 | The Car Video Effect on Comedy
    5:00 | Sydney’s Glow-Up & Beard Journey
    6:10 | Top 10 Attractive Comedians Debate
    7:02 | Touring Stories & Comedy Club Scams
    9:08 | Ticket Sales Drama & Comedy Club Tactics
    12:02 | Sydney’s No-Nonsense Business Approach
    14:00 | The "Standoffish" Comedian Persona
    16:01 | Party Invitations & Social Battery Moments
    18:28 | The Surprise Party Wing Moment
    21:10 | Sydney's Reserved Personality Explained
    23:31 | Sydney’s Mysterious Apartment Policy
    25:01 | Comedy Club Culture & Social Dynamics
    27:46 | Tony Baker’s Aversion to Phone Calls
    29:19 | FaceTiming Tony Baker Live
    30:50 | Tony’s Savage Response to Love & Appreciation
    32:07 | Classic Pranks on Comedy Tours
    35:07 | The Evolution of Comedy Collaboration
    37:00 | Freestyle Session – Texas Style
    39:08 | The Giraffe Video Legacy
    40:22 | AI Bots Creating Their Own Language
    42:54 | The Fear of AI & The Terminator Moment
    44:32 | Scientists Create Shapeshifting Robots

    S/O to our Sponsors
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    51 m
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