What if support doesn’t require hierarchy?

In this Relationship Rant, Christy names a quiet but pervasive problem in the modern relationship space—the rise of gurus, gender wars, and advice that sounds confident but lacks embodied truth.

This episode explores how much relationship harm doesn’t begin with lies, but with partial truths placed inside hierarchy. When guidance turns into control, when questioning is labeled resistance, and when authority replaces self trust, connection quietly erodes.

Let's unpack why so much online relationship advice comes from content creators rather than people living secure, emotionally mature partnerships, how outrage culture profits from division, and why scripts and tactics never create real intimacy—only the illusion of it.

This isn’t about rejecting growth, accountability, or support.

It’s about reclaiming sovereignty, nuance, and presence in a landscape that rewards extremes over truth.

This episode brings grounded clarity, compassion without collapse, accountability without punishment, and an invitation to stop outsourcing your relational power to voices that thrive on fear and control.

Contact Christy & Additional Resources:

www.coachchristyholt.com

Chapters

00:00 — What If Support Doesn’t Require Hierarchy?

Why Christy refuses the guru role—and what healthy mentorship actually looks like.

02:21 — Why So Many “Relationship Experts” Get It Wrong

How confidence gets mistaken for wisdom in the online relationship space.

03:26 — The Problem With Gurus Who Don’t Live What They Teach

Theory, performance, and why embodied wisdom can’t be faked.

04:19 — When Truth Turns Into Hierarchy

The moment guidance becomes control—and dissent gets labeled resistance.

06:50 — Red Pill, Man-Hating, and the Outrage Economy

How gender war content profits from fear, division, and distrust.

08:31 — When You Learn Scripts Instead of Skills

Why memorized lines don’t create intimacy—and never will.

14:03 — Your Algorithm Is Feeding You a Gender War

How extreme narratives distort dating before connection even begins.

15:37 — Are Men Really From Mars? (Hint: No.)

Why gender differences are mostly conditioning, not destiny.

17:32 — How Gender Roles Distort Modern Connection

Stoic providers, emotional managers, and why everyone ends up frustrated.

18:15 — Compassion + Accountability: What Most Gurus Miss

Why real growth requires both—without hierarchy.

23:28 — Theory vs Embodied Wisdom

Why lived experience matters more than perfect frameworks.

26:24 — Relationship Rant Recap

Reclaiming sovereignty, self trust, and presence in love.

🎶 Music Credit:

“Big Adventure” by Paul Yudin | License Code: IFYBJMN4DCRTCSPO

In this deeply personal Relationship Rant, Christy shares the moment that quietly rewired her understanding of safety, harm, and belonging—not because of what was said, but because of how everyone else responded.

What happens when manipulation is spoken out loud and no one intervenes?

What happens when harm is disguised as humour, spirituality, or “good intentions”?

And what happens inside the body when something isn’t right—but the room treats it like normal?

This episode explores how women are conditioned to mistrust themselves, especially within faith-based and marriage-centered environments that prioritize forgiveness, submission, and appearance over emotional safety and accountability.

We examine how silence in so-called safe spaces communicates more than words, why staying can make perfect sense within certain belief systems, how freeze responses show up before conscious understanding, and why forgiveness without repair keeps people stuck in harm.

This conversation isn’t anti-faith.

It isn’t anti-marriage.

And it isn’t about blaming individuals.

It’s about naming the systems that taught women to swallow truth, override intuition, and call self abandonment love—and what it looks like to finally choose a different kind of safety.

Contact Christy & Additional Resources:

www.coachchristyholt.com

Chapters:

00:00 — Trying to Do Marriage “Right”

Belonging, faith, and the pressure to be a good wife—even when it costs you yourself.

02:09 — A Gentle Content Note Before We Go Deeper

Relationship harm, religion, and how to care for yourself as you listen.

02:53 — The Comment That Changed Everything

When manipulation is spoken out loud and no one intervenes—and why that silence matters.

04:54 — When the Body Knows Before the Mind

Freeze responses, intuition, and the moment something inside goes still.

07:12 — Why Staying Made Sense

Born sinner conditioning, marriage idolization, and the erosion of self trust.

09:27 — We Share to Test for Safety

What silence in “safe spaces” actually communicates about whose comfort matters.

11:35 — Forgiveness Without Repair

Bad advice, prayer as deflection, and the harm of spiritual bypassing.

14:52 — Anger, Purity Culture, and the Submissive Wife

How women were taught to swallow truth, suppress anger, and call it love.

17:11 — “If You Feel Disconnected, Put Out More”

Sexual obligation, consent, and why emotional safety can’t be negotiated.

19:17 — God Is Not an Excuse for Avoiding Accountability

Faith versus responsibility in relationships—and why the two are not opposites.

20:59 — A Different Kind of Safety

Reclaiming self trust, honouring intuition, and refusing self abandonment.

🎶 Music Credit:

“Big Adventure” by Paul Yudin | License Code: IFYBJMN4DCRTCSPO

A light, cheeky post about moms, Santa, and Christmas magic unexpectedly struck a nerve—and what followed revealed far more than a disagreement about holiday cheer.

In this rant-style episode, Christy unpacks why a tongue-in-cheek observation about invisible labour triggered such strong resistance, why women are often expected to be cheerful about their own exhaustion, and why naming that reality is so uncomfortable in the first place.

This isn’t about Santa. It isn’t about ruining Christmas.

It’s about what happens when women are seen.

We explore how invisible labour becomes expected labour, why emotional and mental load so often goes unnoticed, how cheerfulness becomes the cost of belonging, and why systems continue to run smoothly when women overfunction and undervalue themselves.

This episode brings nuance, compassion, clarity, and straight-up truth-telling to a conversation many women feel—but are subtly discouraged from naming out loud.

Contact Christy & Additional Resources:

www.coachchristyholt.com

Chapters

00:00 — Why Did a Santa Joke Make People So Uncomfortable?

A lighthearted post sparks outsized resistance—and reveals an unspoken rule about what women are allowed to say.

01:42 — Is This About Santa… or About Invisible Labour?

Why planning, anticipating, emotional management, and mental load are work—even when they’re framed as “magic.”

02:54 — Why Are Women Expected to Be Cheerful About Their Own Exhaustion?

How gratitude and positivity are often used to silence real human limits.

04:40 — Who Benefits When Women Undervalue Themselves?

Zooming out to examine systems that reward overfunctioning and self-sacrifice.

05:50 — Why Does Questioning the Pattern Feel Like Ruining the Magic?

Why awareness gets mislabeled as cynicism—and why clarity isn’t the enemy of joy.

06:52 — Why Do Women Police Other Women for Speaking Up?

How defending the norm can feel safer than questioning it—and why that pushback isn’t personal.

08:11 — Can We Love the Holidays and Still Question the System?

Holding joy and awareness at the same time without burning traditions to the ground.

09:32 — What Would the Magic Look Like If Women Valued Themselves Too?

Reimagining holidays that include rest, shared effort, visibility, and self-worth.

🎶 Music Credit:

“Big Adventure” by Paul Yudin | License Code: IFYBJMN4DCRTCSPO

Dating in the age of A.I. is wild. In this rant-style episode, Christy shares a real story of a man on a plane using ChatGPT and meme scripts to craft the “perfect” messages for a woman he was texting.

This isn’t an AI problem—this is an outsourced expression problem.

We explore why people are relying on personas instead of presence, why authenticity will always beat performance, how manipulation isn’t always malicious, why modern gender roles have shifted, and why women’s rising standards aren’t self sabotage—they’re evolution.

This episode brings nuance, grounded compassion, radical responsibility, and straight-up relationship truth-telling for a conversation you didn’t know you needed to hear.

Contact Christy & Additional Resources: www.coachchristyholt.com

00:00 — Is He Talking to YOU… or ChatGPT?

Why some men use AI to talk to women and what’s really going on behind those “perfect” messages.

02:15 — Is AI the Problem… or Something Else?

Why dating feels fake now, and what’s actually causing the disconnect.

03:26 — Is Copy-Paste Dating Manipulative?

Understanding manipulation as a fear-based pattern, not an attack on men.

04:25 — Why Does His Texting Feel Too Good to Be True?

Spotting the gap between polished lines and real emotional grounding.

05:14 — Is This About All Men… or One Example?

Why this isn’t a gender war—and why nuance matters in dating conversations.

06:00 — Why Women Expect More Now

The evolution of gender roles and why women’s standards have risen.

07:12 — Why Men Struggle With Emotional Intimacy

How conditioning impacts connection and why compassion and accountability can coexist.

08:35 — Where Am I Performing Instead of Relating?

Shifting from personas to presence to attract emotionally available partners.

09:58 — Why Dating Feels So Fake

Scripts and personas create illusions, illusions create disappointment, and disappointment breeds distrust.

11:05 — Relationship Rant Recap

Authenticity isn’t perfection—it’s presence, and it’s the foundation of meaningful connection.

🎧 DAY 30: Wildfire: How to Keep Burning Without Apology | UNSTUCK: 30 Days to Rewrite Your Love Story

🔥 EPISODE DESCRIPTION

They told you to be smaller. Quieter. Less you. But here's your final truth bomb: You were never meant to be a candle—you were born to be a wildfire.

In this electrifying series finale of UNSTUCK: 30 Days to Rewrite Your Love Story, host Christy Holt (your Pyrotechnic Love Guide) delivers:

• 3 Paradigm Shifts to own your "too much" as sacred fuel

• The Flamekeeper Ritual (for when others call you "too intense")

• Your Wildfire Manifesto & Phoenix Rising Ceremony (a rebirth set to Alicia Keys' anthem)

Spoiler: Your ashes aren't just fertilizer for your growth—they're kindling for the next generation of women learning to burn bright.

⏱️ WATCH/LISTEN ALONG

00:00:00 – The "Be Smaller" Lie Exposed

00:00:55 – Paradigm Shift #1: Your "Too Much" is Their Mediocrity Alarm

00:02:07 – Paradigm Shift #2: Trust Your Heat (It's Your Birthright)

00:03:06 – Paradigm Shift #3: The World Needs Your Blaze

00:05:34 – Wildfire Manifesto Ceremony (Burn It Down + Rise)

💬 KEY QUOTES (SHAREABLE AF)

"You were born to be a wildfire."

"Your fire cannot be contained—and the world needs your blaze."

"You are not here to be digestible. You are here to be free."

"Your scars aren't wounds—they're street lamps for other women."

(Tag @CoachChristyHolt if these ignite you! 📲)

🔥 YOUR DAY 30 REBELLION: THE WILDFIRE MANIFESTO

1. CLAIM YOUR TERRITORY

📝 Complete:

"I am done apologizing for ______"

"From now on I choose ______"

"My fire is my power because ______"

2. CEREMONIAL RELEASE

🔥 Burn or shred your manifesto while declaring:

"This is me: Unedited. Unapologetic. Unleashed."

3. PHOENIX RISE DANCE

🎶 Crank up Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys: https://bit.ly/loverebel

💃 Embody your rebirth in 3 movements:

1️⃣ ROOTS – Plant feet wide, grip the earth

2️⃣ WINGS – Spread arms during chorus

3️⃣ BLAZE – Let every cell of your being burn brighter

SHARE YOUR BLAZE: 📸 Tag @CoachChristyHolt with your wildfire rise + #PlotTwistEnergy

RESOURCES & LINKS

🔥 WORK WITH CHRISTY:

Ready to turn this wildfire into your permanent state? Explore mentorship or courses to help you embody the incredible love story you’re writing: https://coachchristyholt.com/workwithme

🎧 SEASON 3 OF CREATE YOUR HAPPY: CREATING CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOURSELF & OTHERS

The podcast series about all things relationships: Unapologetic living • Self-trust • Communication that sets you free

🎙️ Spotify (start here): https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/christy-holt/episodes/Love--Unstuck-Conscious-Relationships-with-Others-and-Yourself-e2b5h2b

📖 LOVE, UNSTUCK BOOK:

Dive deeper into creating conscious relationships with this handy guide back to loving yourself: http://www.loveunstuck.com

STAY CONNECTED

💌 SUBSCRIBE for bonus episodes

💌 RATE & REVIEW if this series rewired your love story

💌 COMMENT: "What's your wildfire declaration?"

💌 TAG @CoachChristyHolt—your blaze inspires the rebellion

#RewriteYourLoveStory #CreateYourHappy #LoveRebel #Confidence #Unapologetic #LiveYourTruth

🎧 DAY 29: Letting Go with Love: A Ritual for Moving On | UNSTUCK: 30 Days to Rewrite Your Love Story

🔥 EPISODE DESCRIPTION

You're standing at the edge of your past clutching a suitcase full of what ifs—heavy, exhausting, and familiar. But here's the truth burning through:  What you refuse to release owns you.

In this cathartic episode of UNSTUCK: 30 Days to Rewrite Your Love Story, host Christy Holt (your Release Alchemist) guides you through:

• How to turn "villains" into side characters in your epic (their role is over)

• The alchemy of transforming pain into powerful sacred wisdom

• A life-changing ritual to burn what no longer serves you (it’s time to rise!)

Spoiler: That relationship you're releasing? It was never the main plot—just backstory for your hero's journey.

⏱️ WATCH/LISTEN ALONG

00:00:00 – The Suitcase Full of "What Ifs"

00:00:38 – The Real Plot Twist Energy (Release is Freedom)

00:01:06 – From Villain to Side Character (Rewriting Their Role)

00:01:38 – Sacred Data: How Your Mess Becomes Your Message

00:02:15 – Self-Love as Catalyst (Rewriting Your Role)

00:02:43 – The Candle Breath Technique

00:03:21 – The "This Is Me" Reclamation Dance

00:04:11 – The Fire Ceremony: Burn, Plant, Rise

💬 KEY QUOTES (SHAREABLE AF)

"What you refuse to release owns you."

"Even if they were the villain in your story, their role is now over."

"Your mess is your message."

"I no longer trade my present peace for old pain."

(Tag @CoachChristyHolt if these hit home! 📲)

🔥 YOUR DAY 29 REBELLION: THE GREAT RELEASE

1. WISDOM SPLIT & BURN

📝 Left Side: What to release ("Waiting for closure")

📝 Right Side: F*ck Yes Wisdom ("My worth isn't negotiable")

🔥 Safely burn the left side while declaring: "Thank you. Now I choose freedom."

🪞 Post the right side to your mirror for daily reminders of the wisdom you carry

2. A RECLAMATION

🎤 Grab your hairbrush microphone and sing This Is Me (Keala Settle, The Greatest Showman) at the top of your lungs: https://bit.ly/loverebel

💃 Dance like you're reclaiming every hidden part of yourself

SHARE YOUR RECLAMATION: 📸 Tag @CoachChristyHolt with your mirror manifesto + #PlotTwistEnergy

RESOURCES & LINKS

💡 LOVE REIMAGINED COURSE: Your self-paced journey to rewrite love from the inside out—break toxic patterns, build unshakable self-trust, and create relationships that feel like coming home: https://coachchristyholt.com/product/lovereimagined/

🔜 NEXT EPISODE:

WILDFIRE–How to Keep Burning Without Apology (Series finale)! ALSO… Stay tuned for the BONUS episode (a special guided journey and activation to help you call in the love you desire!)

STAY CONNECTED

💌 SUBSCRIBE for the grand finale

💌 RATE & REVIEW if this helped you claim closure

💌 COMMENT: "What wisdom are you posting on your mirror today?"

💌 TAG @CoachChristyHolt—your rebirth inspires others and your mess is the message the world needs

#LoveUnstuck #RewriteYourLoveStory #CreateYourHappy #LoveRebel #LoveYourselfFirst

🎧 DAY 28: The New Obsession: Falling in Love with Your Own Life | UNSTUCK: 30 Days to Rewrite Your Love Story

🔥 EPISODE DESCRIPTION

You're scrolling Instagram, double-tapping another 💍 engagement post when it hits: When will it be my turn? Here's the wake-up call—your turn isn't coming. It's already here.

In this radical episode of UNSTUCK: 30 Days to Rewrite Your Love Story, host Christy Holt (your Main Character Coach) reveals:

• Why your life isn't a "waiting room for the one"—it's the main event

• How to transform lonely moments into sacred self-discovery

• The F*ck Yes Morning Ritual (Hailee Steinfeld dance parties mandatory)

Spoiler: Love isn't something you find—it's something you are.

⏱️ WATCH/LISTEN ALONG

00:00:00 – The Instagram Spiral ("When will it be my turn?")

00:01:09 – Your Life Isn't a Waiting Room (The Main Event Revelation)

00:01:58 – Christy's Post-Divorce F*ck Yes Epiphany (How Solo Time Revealed Truths)

00:03:14 – Daily F*ck Yes Morning Ritual (Get your Self-Love dialed up to 11!)

00:03:28 – Build Your Self-Love Resume (From Lack to Wholeness)

💬 KEY QUOTES (SHAREABLE AF)

"Your life isn't a waiting room for the one. It's the main event."

"Needing someone to complete you is like trying to fill a cup that's already overflowing."

"That pang of loneliness? It's not longing—it's resistance to your own magic."

"Love isn't something you find. It's something that you are."

(Tag @CoachChristyHolt if these hit home! 📲)

🔥 YOUR DAY 28 REBELLION: BECOME YOUR OWN LOVE STORY

1. SELF-LOVE RESUME

📝 Column 1: F*ck Yes to Me (e.g., "I want to savour stillness without reaching for my phone")

📝 Column 2: F*ck No to Lack (e.g., "I refuse to postpone joy until I have a plus one")

2. MORNING RITUAL

🎶 Blast Love Myself by Hailee Steinfeld: https://bit.ly/loverebel

💃 Dance like you're celebrating your own damn magic

3. WEEKLY CHALLENGE

✨ Live one F*ck Yes feeling daily (e.g., curiosity, stillness, self-amusement)

SHARE YOUR MAGIC: 📸 Tag @CoachChristyHolt with your self-love resume + #PlotTwistEnergy

RESOURCES & LINKS

📖 UNSTUCK FOR WOMEN JOURNAL:

90 Days to Self-Discovery – Your guided journey to radical self-awareness and unshakable self-trust: https://coachchristyholt.com/book/#unstuck

🧘 CREATING LOVE SWEARY AF MEDITATION:

A sweary AF 5-minute nervous system reset to reconnect with your inherent worth and the unconditional love within: https://bit.ly/createlovemeditation

🔜 NEXT EPISODE:

Burning the Old Narrative – Turn "what ifs" into confetti

STAY CONNECTED

💌 SUBSCRIBE to own your main character era

💌 RATE & REVIEW if this helped you ditch the waiting room

💌 COMMENT: "What's your #1 F*ck Yes to yourself?"

💌 TAG @CoachChristyHolt—your self-love inspires others

#LoveUnstuck #RewriteYourLoveStory #CreateYourHappy #LoveRebel #SelfLove