I’m diving deep into one of the biggest mindset shifts I’ve ever made as a parent: learning to accept my child’s behavior without condoning it.

We’re unpacking Chapter 2 of my book—Control the Controllables—but I’m not just reading it. I’m bringing in fresh reflections, personal stories, and real-life coaching conversations to help you reclaim your peace, even when your child’s behavior feels completely out of your hands.

You’ll hear how I used to believe controlling my kids was my job, and how focusing on what I actually could control changed everything from the tone in my home to my own sense of confidence and calm.

If you’ve ever thought,

• “If I accept this behavior, won’t it just continue?”
• “I’ve lost control, and I don’t know how to get it back.”
• “I want to set limits and stay connected—can I do both?”

This episode will meet you right where you are.

Today I'm covering:

• Why controlling your child’s behavior doesn’t work, and what to do instead
• What’s actually in your control as a parent (way more than you think!)
• Why acceptance isn’t the same as condoning—and how it helps you show up at your best
• How to stay grounded, even in high-conflict moments
• The six powerful questions that shift you out of judgment and into connection

The Six Acceptance Questions

Use these whenever you feel triggered, powerless, or judgmental. They’ll help you shift from resistance to compassion—and from reactivity to leadership.

1. How does what they did or said make perfect sense to them?
   (Step into their world. What might they be feeling or needing?)
2. What do their words or actions tell me about them—not about me?
   (This isn’t personal. It’s a window into their internal world.)
3. How does what I did or said make perfect sense to me?
   (Offer yourself compassion, too. Your reaction came from somewhere.)
4. What would serve everyone’s highest good right now?
   (Let this question guide your next move—grounded and connected.)
5. What am I making this moment mean about me—or about them?
   (Reveal the story your brain is telling so you can question it.)
6. Do I want to accept what just happened? If not, why? If yes, why?
   (This gives you permission to pause, reflect, and choose.)

Before the day ends, take 5 minutes and:

• Make your “Controllables List:” Write down everything in your parenting world that you do have control over (your thoughts, tone, routines, boundaries, energy, etc.)
• Use the Acceptance Questions: Pick one moment that felt hard this week and walk through the six questions above.

Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast

My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs

My IG: https://cmp.works/ista

I used to have a black belt in consequence-giving. 🥋

My kids wouldn't clean their room?

• BOOM - grounded.
• Talking back? KAPOW - no screens for a week.
• Fighting with siblings? BAM - straight to timeout.

I was "winning" every single battle. My kids were complying (sort of). The house was (temporarily) peaceful.

So why did I feel like I was losing something way bigger?

Today's episode is my confession booth moment. I'm pulling back the curtain on how I went from Consequence Champion to realizing I was basically playing parenting on hard mode... with the controller unplugged.

Here's what we're unpacking:

• The dopamine hit that tricks us into thinking punishment works (spoiler: your brain is lying to you)
• Why I almost ruined one of the Seven Wonders of the World with my "good parenting"
• That awkward moment when you realize you're having a bigger tantrum than your toddler
• The plot twist that changed EVERYTHING about how I parent
• What actually happens when you stop trying to "win" (hint: everyone wins)

The lightbulb moment from today's episode: "There's a crazy thing that happens while you deliver the punishment for their off-track behavior. You typically experience a bit of off-track behavior yourself."

The Machu Picchu Moment That Changed Everything: I'm at one of the most breathtaking places on Earth. My 10-year-old is melting down about the altitude, her burning lungs, her tired legs. And what's my internal response? Annoyance. Judgment. Full-on resistance mode.

I almost let my need to "win" (aka make her stop complaining) ruin this once-in-a-lifetime experience. Until I remembered: Nothing has gone wrong here. She's not being difficult. She's having a difficult time.

But instead of threatening to take away the zipline adventure, I sat with her. Believed in her. Celebrated every single step she took. And she made it to the top AND was delightful for the next FIVE HOURS.

Not because I "won." Because I finally stopped trying to WIN.

Pick your biggest parent-child battleground. Where you always "win" but feel gross afterwards. Now ask yourself:

• What am I really trying to win here?
• What would happen if I stopped fighting?
• How can I connect instead of correct?

Get specific. Like "when they won't put on pajamas at 8:17pm for the 5th night in a row" specific. Write down ONE way you'll choose connection over winning.

You've been doing your best with the tools you had. We all learned that discipline = good parenting. But what if we learned wrong? What if "losing" these battles means winning something so much bigger, our kids' trust, their hearts, a relationship that actually works?

Remember: Your kids already know when they mess up. They don't need you to rub it in. They need you to help them find their way back to their best self. And plot twist - that's exactly what you need too.

Stuff I mentioned:

• Those chapter exercises I keep talking about: https://cmp.works/thebook
• My book (where I spill ALL the parenting tea)
• That Gandhi quote about being the change

Now go "lose" a battle today. Your future self (and your kids) will thank you.

Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast

My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs

My IG: https://cmp.works/ista

Have you ever caught yourself waiting? Waiting to feel confident. Waiting for your kids to behave so you can feel calm. Waiting for the house to be clean so you can feel peace.

I see you. I've been there, lying in bed, praying tomorrow would be different. That somehow I'd wake up and magically feel like the parent I wanted to be.

Here's what I discovered after my baby powder blizzard moment 17 years ago: Those emotions we are waiting for? They're not coming in a specially wrapped package.

What We're Exploring Together

We can manufacture the emotions we want to feel.

Not by forcing. Not by bypassing. But by understanding that we are the creators of our emotional experience.

I promise this episode isn't about toxic positivity or pushing away negative feelings. It's about recognizing our power when we're ready to use it.

The Five Truths That Set Us Free

1. We're not supposed to feel happy all the time (and thank goodness for that)
2. Every emotion belongs - they're all part of this messy, beautiful human experience
3. Our thoughts create the meaning - it's not the situation, it's our story about it
4. We need the contrast - without the hard, we can't appreciate the beautiful
5. Embracing negative emotions makes them less scary - resistance creates suffering, acceptance creates freedom

The Practice (Because Love Is a Verb)

Creating emotions is about:

• Recognizing what you're feeling without judgment
• Deciding how you want to feel (yes, you get to choose!)
• Finding thoughts you actually believe that support that feeling
• Practicing, practicing, practicing (like going to the gym for your heart)

You are the author of your emotional experience.

This Week's Loving Challenge

What emotion do you want to create? Not someday. Not when things get easier. But right now, in the messy middle of your real life.

Pick one. Maybe it's confidence. Maybe it's compassion. Maybe it's just plain old peace.

Then ask yourself: What would I need to believe to feel this way?

Next Steps: Leave a review if you've been enjoying the CMP Podcast

My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs

My IG: https://cmp.works/ista