Ep #200 Fight-or-Flight Club (Rule #1: We Actually Leave)

This episode is one I've been wanting to do for a while because thought work is truly the foundation of everything we do in Connect Method Parenting. And I know "thought work" might sound intimidating or like some woo-woo concept, but I promise you—it's the most practical, life-changing tool you can have as a parent.

The biggest problem isn't that we go into fight or flight. Nope...it's that we never come OUT of fight or flight. And that's exactly what thought work helps us change.

I'm sharing my entire 15+ year journey of discovering thought work—from stumbling on Viktor Frankl and Byron Katie as a young, struggling mom to building the STEER tool and Daily Peace process that thousands of parents now use every day.

Here's what we cover:

• What thought work actually is (and why it's not just "thinking positive thoughts")
• How I reverse-engineered my Baby Powder Blizzard miracle moment
• The science behind why thought work works: mirror neurons, neural pathways, and the nervous system
• Why who you're BEING matters infinitely more than what you're DOING
• How thoughts create emotions, emotions fuel actions, and actions create your results
• The power of becoming the "watcher" of your own life
• How to use thought work even when (especially when) you're triggered by your teenager

You can read every parenting book, memorize all the scripts, and understand child development backwards and forwards, but if you don't understand how to align who you're BEING with the highest, most loving version of yourself, you're still going to struggle.

I'm sharing stories from a family trip, where I had to excuse myself from the room to do my own Daily Peace process. Because guess what? There's always another level of emotional maturity we can reach as parents. This work never stops, and that's actually beautiful.

One of my favorite insights from this episode:

"The more I think I need to hurry, the more I need to slow down. If I don't feel like I have time for thought work, that's exactly when I know I really need it."

Key Takeaways:

✨ Thoughts are OPTIONAL—you get to decide what you believe
✨ Your nervous system is broadcasting an emotional frequency that your kids pick up on (thank you, mirror neurons)
✨ Thought work isn't about perfection—it's about awareness and compassion
✨ When you witness yourself without judgment, everything changes
✨ The goal isn't to always be regulated; it's to become skilled at repairing when you're not

Tools I Mention:

• STEAR - My signature thought awareness tool
• Daily PEACE - The complete process that includes STEER plus emotional processing
• The Six Acceptance Questions - From Chapter 3 of my book

Bottom line: This is THE most important skill you can develop as a parent. Once you understand how your thoughts create your emotions, which fuel your actions, which create your results... you'll never see parenting (or life) the same way again.

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