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You asked for help. You thought you were clear. And it landed… wrong.

The tone shifted. The energy changed. Now you’re wondering if you just made yourself look incompetent.

In this short solo episode of Communication Skills for Working Women, we talk about what to do when your ask doesn’t go the way you expected.

Because sometimes it’s not incompetence.

Sometimes it’s timing. Sometimes it’s stress. Sometimes it’s context you can’t see.

And repair is part of professional communication.

• Why asking for help can feel high-risk at work

• How timing affects how your request is received

• What to do instead of panicking when the energy shifts

• Why the first attempt is not the final verdict on your competence

• How to create space and revisit a conversation strategically

• Four ways to ask for help that signal initiative, not insecurity

1. Show Your Work Before You Ask “I’ve tried A and B and I’m not getting the result I need. Can you help me understand what I’m missing?”

Signals effort. Protects credibility. Invites collaboration.

2. Frame the Ask Around Impact, Not Your Limitation Shift from “I’m confused” to “I want to make sure we get this right.”

Leaders respond to outcomes.

3. Ask to Learn the System, Not Just Fix the Moment “I’d love to understand your process so I can handle this independently going forward.”

Shows ownership and long-term thinking.

4. Name the Gap Without Apologizing for It “I don’t have visibility into X yet. Can you walk me through it?”

Neutral. Clear. Direct.

If your first ask lands wrong, that does not mean you are incompetent.

You are allowed to:

• Pause.

• Revisit.

• Clarify.

• Try again.

Asking for help is not a one-shot performance.

It’s an experiment.

And capable professionals don’t grow by struggling silently — they grow by asking strategically.

Connect with us!

• Communication Skills for Working Women Facebook Group
• Visit our website: communicateconnectthrive.com
• Email: communicationskillsforwomen@gmail.com

Struggling to ask for help at work because you're afraid it'll make you look incompetent? You're not alone. In this episode, we break down why asking for help feels so vulnerable—and how to do it in ways that signal competence and initiative, not weakness.

• Why smart, capable people struggle to ask for help
• The hidden commitments keeping you stuck and isolated
• How to distinguish help-seeking that signals incompetence vs. initiative
• Four strategic ways to ask for what you need while preserving credibility
• How to test your assumptions about asking questions

In this short mid-drop episode, we continue to explore imposter syndrome—also known as the impostor phenomenon—and why it disproportionately impacts women, particularly those from marginalized communities.

Connect with us at Communication Skills for Working Women on Facebook

Starting a new job can trigger anxiety, worry, and self-doubt—even when you’re capable and prepared. In this episode, we explore why imposter syndrome is so common early in your career and how it quietly shapes the way you communicate at work. Using the Immunity to Change framework, we unpack the hidden fears and assumptions that keep you silent and share practical, low-pressure ways to speak with confidence while you’re still learning.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why imposter syndrome often shows up when you’re new
• How anxiety and worry impact workplace communication
• What keeps you quiet even when you have something valuable to say
• Simple experiments for speaking up without waiting to feel “ready”
• Why confidence is built through action—not certainty

This episode is for women who want to communicate with credibility, trust themselves more at work, and stop letting self-doubt run the conversation.

Reaching out to a quiet or withdrawn friend seems simple but for many of us, it feels surprisingly hard.

In this episode, we explore why caring deeply doesn’t always translate into action, and how a maladaptive internal process can quietly keep us from making meaningful connection. In this episode, we unpack the fears, assumptions, and protective strategies that stop us from reaching out and offer practical, low-pressure ways to show up for the people we care about.

This episode is for anyone who has thought, “I should check on them,” and then talked themselves out of it.

• Why reaching out to quiet friends triggers hesitation, overthinking, and avoidance
• How hidden commitments (like not wanting to intrude or say the wrong thing) block connection
• The common assumptions that keep us silent—and how to test them
• Why “no response needed” messages can be powerful
• Four simple, low-pressure strategies for reaching out
• Why consistency matters more than perfect words

We would love to connect with you.

• Facebook: Communication Skills for Working Women
• Visit our website: communicateconnectthrive.com
• Email: communicationskillsforwomen@gmail.com

An unscripted conversation about what happens when “tell me more” doesn’t lead to understanding but instead reveals pain, anger, and the limits of curiosity as well as how that insight can actually calm you.

Ever try to get curious, ask questions, or say statements like “tell me more” and you are met with resistance or even anger? This can then increase your anxiety around conversations.

In this episode we unpack a text message in real time - share our thoughts and insights - and leave you with some key take aways around tone, awareness and efforts in communication.

Join us for this real conversation!

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Interested in Coaching? Reach out here.

Discussed Resources:

Blind Spot

Episode 027: 3 Tips on getting curious to transform your anxious conversations to calm

Quick Explanation of the ‘Wise Mind’ (AI)

Wise Mind is a core concept in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) representing the integration of your Emotional Mind (driven by feelings) and your Reasonable Mind (driven by logic and facts) to achieve balanced, intuitive, and effective decisions and actions, acting as a middle path or inner wisdom. It combines emotional awareness with rational thinking, allowing you to respond to situations with both clarity and compassion, leading to healthier choices and a life worth living.

https://communicateconnectthrive.com/

Difficult conversations about discrimination, inequity, and exclusion often escalate not because of bad intentions, but because they activate deep internal protection systems.

In this episode, we help listeners understand:

• Why defensiveness, silence, or over-explaining show up
• How hidden commitments protect identity at the expense of connection
• How to stay regulated and engaged during high-stakes conversations
• How to build real capacity for equity-centered dialogue over time

In this episode:

• Why “good intentions” aren’t enough in conversations
• The four elements of the Immunity to Change framework
• How hidden commitments drive conflict behaviors
• Practical, interventions that reduce escalation
• Tools for facilitators and leaders navigating group conflict

If you’re navigating difficult conversations around equity and belonging, you’re not failing you’re developing.

Connection grows when we slow down enough to examine what’s happening inside.

Neurodiversity isn’t a trend or a deficit, it’s a fact of human variation.

In this episode, we examine how neurotypical assumptions shape workplaces, families, and relationships and why good intentions alone aren’t enough to create access.

Rather than focusing on how neurodivergent people should adapt, this episode explores what neurotypical people can shift internally and systemically to support real inclusion.

• Why “treating everyone the same” isn’t neutral
• How neurotypical assumptions become invisible rules
• Why accommodations trigger resistance
• How hidden commitments preserve barriers
• How to distinguish fairness from sameness
• How to support difference without lowering standards