BDSM and kink lifestyle educators often talk about the importance of education. It is not surprising that educators discuss education, but what happens when fiction replaces facts, fantasy supplants safety, and consent takes a backseat to raw, primal desire?

Could it result in a D/S scene filled with orgasmic delights? It could, but this is BDSM, where activities come with risk from small to life-altering or even ending. The more play that happens between those without proper training, the risks skyrocket, and informed consent becomes impossible, as there is no knowledge base to provide informed consent.

Studies show there is an alarming trend in the world of BDSM and kink where pornography is moving from entertainment andinspiration into the role of educator. The spicy content has not changed, but how it is viewed by those consuming it has. Find out what research shows about the trend of porn as a BDSM and kink educator.

Sources:

Prevalence of Sexual Strangulation/Choking Among Australians Authors: Leah S. Sharman, Robin Fitzgerald, and Heather Douglas

Holes in Kinky Education: The Role of Pornography in Learning about BDSM Sexualities Authors: Iris Ryn Olson and Bryce Westlake

BDSM Safety in Pornography: Its Perceived Accuracy and Impact on Practitioners' Safe Word Practices Author: Bryce G. Westlake

Enjoyment, Exploration and Education: Understanding the Consumption of Pornography Authors: Mark McCormack and Liam Wignall

Kink Community Education: Experiential Learning and Communities of Practice Authors: Richard A. Sprott, Carolyn Meeker, and M. O'Brien

TBA...Have you ever heard or seen a comment about D/S from someone in the community that makes you scream, “This is justutter, utter garbage”? That recently happened to me.

An influencer in the dominant and submissive space shared that “real” dominants are all outgoing, charismatic, and magnetic. Rather than just sit back and think “I cannot believe they said that”, I thought, what if I am wrong and they are indeed right? So I started down the research rabbit hole of BDSM, D/S dynamics, introverts, extroverts, and magnetism vibes to find out what actual data, from scientific studies, showed. Well, the results are in.

So is it true that “real” dominants are all rocking an outgoing and magnetic vibe? Just press play and find the answers.

Hey there, come on over and join me for a chat about collars. No, no, not the one your pet wears unless your pet is an amazingperson who just happens to be submissive. For some collars are simple yet deeply meaningful, while others build a detailed process, but as with everything in D/S, there is no right or wrong answer. Heck, a collar in BDSM might symbolize something entirely different than a dynamic. This episode is one you do not want to miss, even if it is for the answer to one question: How can a collar tell someone they have a 'cheap' dominant?

“So tell me what you want, what you really, really want,” exclaimed the Spice Girls back in ’96, and sadly, almost thirty years later, many of still us suddenly get shy when it comes to telling someone what we really, really want, especially when it comes to BDSM, D/S, and kink. Perhaps it is because we think those things we really, really want are so unique that others would not want them. We fill our minds with worry, wondering if we shared it, the answer would be “no”. Plus the fear that this no would also lead to possibly having the person we shared it with no longer see us as desirable. The truth is fetishes, sexual fantasies, and all things kinktastic that we might hesitate to share are shared by thousands who never speak about them. Discover just how common our naughty sides are, and next time you look around at your co-workers, you will be wondering which ones are into this too!

How did you discover BDSM?
My story began with an ancient Roman historian, hunger pangs, a taco craving, and a healthy dose of naivety. Then came the moment I ran into a professor at what seemed like the wrong place (a porn store) at the wrong time. As if there is ever a good time to see a professor in a porn shop, color me mortified.
Discover how Tacitus, tacos, and fate brought me to the BDSM community in ways I never saw coming. Tune in to hear how it all connects in this BDSM podcast episode and prepare to be surprised by the most unlikely path into D/S.

Just a quick update following one of the most amazing birthday weekends.

In the world of D/S there is much written and said about redflags in dominants but what happens when supposed red flags are actually green flags? Or a submissive mistakenly blames a dominant for upholding their boundaries, labels them as a fake because they are not a sadist, or heaven forbidden they are a caring soul?

This episode looks at what some have called red flags but are actually positive, green flags, breaking myths and stereotypes helping you avoid the scourge of false warnings to see positive omens hidden in the myths.

How does a flaming car connect to BDSM vetting, D/S, and kink? What happens when you focus so much on being open to being vetted that you do not do your homework on someone? In this episode, I reveal the mistakes I made and the heavy cost of replacing due diligence with blind trust. This story stands as one of my most valuable BDSM lifestyle and relationship lessons. Listen to uncover the warning signs I overlooked that led to automobile flambé.