It is difficult to have a family member with mental illness. There are some basic principles you can follow that will help you increase the chance of improved mental health. There are also things you can do that will make it worse. You need to know what to do and not do. You care about your family member with mental illness, but you also have to care about yourself and the rest of the family. Everyone matters. There needs to be a balance between the needs of the person struggling with mental health and everyone else. Learn how to do that. Watch this video to find out what you can do to help your family member with mental illness. #mentalhealth #familyproblems

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Tawni shares her story of survival in an abusive marriage and her healing journey after her decision to divorce. She and Karla discuss how churches respond to abuse victims in a way that often causes more pain. They identify common phrases that, sometimes unknowingly, twist Bible verses and lead to misunderstanding the right way to respond. The hidden message is often one that produces guilt and over-responsibility for the victim. They also offer suggestions on how to support children in abusive marriages and through divorce. Tawni and Karla's personal experiences in abusive marriages drive their passion to help people navigate and heal from abusive relationships. Their conversation is filled with helpful tips for anyone who has experienced abuse and/or interacts in any way with victims.

Tawni Carney is a single mother of three whose path blends creativity, ministry, and healing. After beginning her career designing swimwear for national retailers and launching her own children’s wear line, she went on to serve as a Children’s Pastor in Costa Mesa. For over 20 years, she has ministered to women throughout Orange County, California, offering support and hope. She founded Gang of Arrows, a life-skills program that grew to multiple studios, creating safe spaces where kids learn, create, and believe their “hands are made for good.”

Today, as the Acting Executive Director of Eagles Wings Global in Orange County, California, Tawni carries a message of deep faith in God's power to restore. The mission of Eagles Wings is to bring hope and healing to survivors of domestic violence. They advocate, educate, and empower women and men to discover their true value and worth to break the cycle of abuse in their families. They provide physical, emotional, and spiritual support to those seeking freedom and restoration. Eagles Wings also desires to train churches and their staff to identify abuse victims and respond to them in a way that offers support rather than harm.

Resources

Eagles Wings Global is an organization that supports abused women and men in Southern California. The website lists resources, which include in-person and Zoom "Love Does No Harm" groups. They also have a phone line to receive personal support. Tawni Carney can be reached through the website.

https://eagleswingsglobal.org

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In dysfunctional families, people do a lot of things that are unhealthy and destructive. Watching them causes anxiety because of the harm they can do to themselves, you, others, and the relationship. The obsession with changing them can be all-consuming if left unchecked. It can even make you physically and emotionally sick.

The solution is to manage anxiety over others' choices. There are things you can do that will make it easier. Your life doesn't have to be ruled by things outside your control, even when that is your dysfunctional family.

Learning how to manage anxiety over others' choices will change your life by changing yourself. Watch the video to find out how to do it.

#dysfunctionalfamilies #manageanxiety #changeyourself

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Getting mentally ill people to medicate is a frustrating experience. Yet, they have to in order to get better and be more independent. Watch this video to look at the real-life options you have.

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Unfortunately, the stigma of mental illness in the church still exists in various ways. People hold misconceptions about the cause and treatment, which makes it harder for those struggling with mental health. Some of these misconceptions can cause actual harm because they prevent people from speaking up and from getting the treatment they need.

It is important to understand scriptural truth about what causes mental illness and what is required to treat it. Whether you struggle with mental illness yourself or you encounter people struggling with it, knowing how to correct the misconceptions and biases rather than perpetuating them will bring hope and healing. Watch this video on the stigma of mental illness in the church. #mentalhealth #scripturaltruth

Resources: Grace Alliance offers mental health resources and groups in the church: https://mentalhealthgracealliance.org/

National Alliance of Mental Illness offers information and support groups: Nami.org

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Have you ever felt lost in conversations where resolution seems out of reach? Have you wondered why every attempt you make to explain is met with roadblocks that leave you even more frustrated? If so, you might be encountering what Annette Oltmans of The Mend Project calls "The Maze of Confusion."

The Maze of Confusion is a strategy used by emotional abusers to derail genuine communication. By weaving a complex web of distractions and dead ends, they prevent meaningful dialogue, leaving their partners overwhelmed and disoriented. Instead of engaging in healthy conversations, these tactics create barriers to understanding and resolution, leading to increased confusion and emotional pain. In this conversation, Annette and Karla talk about the tactics used to block communication in emotionally abusive relationships from their own experience and from their work with thousands of abuse victims and survivors. Their conversation contrasts unhealthy tactics that prevent resolution with the characteristics of healthy communication that foster understanding and resolution. This podcast is packed with helpful information that empowers abuse victims and abuse survivors. They need labels for the tactics that are used to control them. They need to understand the motives that drive the abuser's behavior. They need validation to counter the gaslighting and invalidation. Understanding and navigating this maze can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Annette is the founder of The Mend Project, an organization that seeks to educate, equip, and restore all who are impacted by emotional abuse and train those who interface with them personally or professionally. Please take a moment to review their resources. #confusion #emotionalabuse #emotionalabusesurvivor #domesticviolencesurvivors Resources and Links: The MEND Project - https://themendproject.com/ Find Clarity and Healing Course - https://themendproject.com/find-clarity-and-healing-course/ "My Journey Through Double Abuse" - interview of Annette Oltmans' story. https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-a4tmz-1004118 "I Was a Covert Emotional Abuser" - Interview of Bucky Oltmans' story https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-ebkpt-107fd04 Maze of Confusion, Terms and Definitions and Other Free Resources from The MEND Project - https://themendproject.com/resources/ Karla Downing's Classes - https://www.changemyrelationship.com/current-and-upcoming-classes/

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If you are a Christian in a dysfunctional, toxic marriage, you are desperate for Christian marriage advice. When you see marriage books or conferences by Christian authors and speakers, you are willing to buy the books and attend the conferences. You try to apply their ideas, even if your spouse isn't.

There is only one problem: not everyone who offers you advice understands what you are going through. Some of their ideas can make your situation worse. You even have to be careful when you seek out Christian counseling.

So if you have more than a few minor marriage problems, you are struggling with addiction, abuse, affairs, narcissism, manipulation, mental illness, emotional abandonment, or other complex, dysfunctional, and toxic dynamics, be careful. Don't go to Christian marriage conferences or read Christian marriage books. Watch this video to fully understand why that is a bad idea and what you need to do instead.

#christianmarriageadvice #dysfunctionalrelationship #toxicrelationships #christiancounseling #Christianmarriageconferences

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Self-evaluation is healthy and necessary. The problem is that codependents, including Christian codependents, tend to take too much responsibility and end up invalidating themselves. This video will show you how to evaluate, not invalidate yourself.

Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/wYvGZaLQf6I