Hapy Hanukah, Merry Christmas and a Joyous Festivus to the Rest of Us, Dear Listener. We're serving up this special silliness with just you mind. So plug in, press play and let the nonsense of the moment drift for a bit. We couldn't be prouder to share this with you. SWEAR.

This may very well be the best episode you ever listen to in your life. No hyperbole. Complete truth. I'd love to tell you to skip right to the best part, at minute 25:20, but in all honesty the build up is pretty good, too. So here's the thing. Missy has achieved a significant life goal almost completely by accident. Is it devious? Of course. Is it fair? Not in the slightest. Is it absolutely hilarious? Dear Listener, have you met her? If only we could enjoy this without the four year penalty involved for Pennsylania's Most Favored Son. Happy Tax Season, kids!

Holy Roadside Assistance, Dear Listener. MIssy's boy man does AAA one better with a serious act of skill-based chivalry. Team Brilliant recounts their annual attempt at photo magnetism. And Amy laments the unadorned sadness of Christmas in Southtown (Bah, Humbug.) Round it out with a rousing round of World's Best Donut and you've got yourself a friendship. Love you, peeps. Mean it.

Positive vibes abound as Amy doubles down on the reality bending virtue of thinking happy thoughts. The fun continues as Amy discovers a newfound fascination with nipples this week, and Missy is, shall we say... uncomfortable. And we both look behind us with 20/20 vision to meals and moments of Thanksgiving past. All that, plus: Melissa rekindles her hatred of Oprah, welcomes a new friend to the family, and laments the good old days when both farts and smoking weed happened outside.

Move over, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, there's a new strummer girl coming round the Bend. Missy double checks her list of favorite dopamine hits, while Amy struggles to overcome Chairgate.

Oh America, must you? This week, we cover the much anticipated Mountain Dew Baja Blast Pie, aka seasonal, 8-serving colon prep. Missy attends the Bat Mitzvah of the Ages. And Amy battles unseen enemies like dead ladybugs, aerosolized jalapeno oil and straight up tap water.

And you thought Amy was a thief. Cat Burglar takes on a whole new meaning this week, Dear Listener, as Melissa brings tales of grabby renters gone awry. All that, plus fecal transfers (tips and tricks!), Halloweeners, assholery at concerts and the new glasses finally make an appearance.