Have you ever replayed a conversation - picking apart what you said, how you said it, or wishing you’d handled it differently? Maybe a mistake or embarrassing moment left you spiralling for days into shame and self-loathing?

There’s a big difference between self-reflection and self-attack. One is productive. The other is just punishment.

✨ Self-reflection sounds like:

“What was happening for me in that moment?”

“What need is being brought to my attention?”

“How could I do this differently moving forward?”

🔥 Self-attack sounds like:

“I can’t believe I did that again.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“Omg I am such an idiot.”

In today's episode I'm sharing 3 questions you can ask yourself to move out of unproductive self-attack and into healthy self-reflection- and then let it go.

If this episode resonates, share it with someone who might need a softer way to look inward — and don’t forget to subscribe to Is It Them or Is It Me? for more conversations about boundaries, relationships, and the moments that shape who we become.

Want to get better at speaking up? Sign up for the free on-demand workshop that will help you be more confident in standing your ground when you're dealing with a boundary bulldozer. Sign up here.

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Have a topic or question you'd love to hear about?

Message me and let me know.

email april@lovelossproject.com

Instagram @with.love.april

https://www.instagram.com/with.love.april/

Please note:

This show is not a replacement for therapy, assessment, treatment or diagnosis. This show is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. See your physician, counsellor or local crisis support centre if needed

All identifying details about the people and the stories shared here are removed to protect confidentiality.

When life is moving a mile a minute, it’ might feel like you just want to get in your car and get away for a few days. But you don’t need to book a vacation or escape your life to get back in control. You can shift the energy in the moment, right where you are. And really, this is where our healing actually happens, right here, right now, in how we take control of ourselves on a moment by moment basis.

In this episode, I share three powerful ways to get grounded and in control, even when everything around you feels chaotic:

• Managing your energy with Spoon Theory – a practical way to understand your limits and use your resources wisely.
• Taking charge of your thoughts and self-talk – how to stop the inner spiral and slow down.
• Being responsible for the energy you bring into a room – how to stop adding to the negativity and reset your energy quickly.

Think of this episode as a reminder that you don’t need to overhaul your your whole entire life—you may just need a few small, intentional shifts to feel more calm and grounded right now.

💌 Want more support like this? Sign up for my newsletter to get more tips, tools and resources.

Want to get better at speaking up? Sign up for the free on-demand workshop that will help you be more confident in standing your ground when you're dealing with a boundary bulldozer. Sign up here.

Get on the Newsletter List here.

Have a topic or question you'd love to hear about?

Message me and let me know.

email april@lovelossproject.com

Instagram @with.love.april

https://www.instagram.com/with.love.april/

Please note:

This show is not a replacement for therapy, assessment, treatment or diagnosis. This show is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. See your physician, counsellor or local crisis support centre if needed

All identifying details about the people and the stories shared here are removed to protect confidentiality.

In this episode of Is It Me or Is It Them?, we unpack one of the most misunderstood ideas about anxiety: the belief that feeling safe is the ultimate goal. We're going to explore why seeking safety can sometimes keep us stuck—and why building trust in ourselves is a more sustainable path forward.

Drawing on my work as a therapist, and real-life examples from clients and my own experiences, I walk you through the subtle but important shift from trying to avoid discomfort to learning we can handle it.

What You’ll Hear:

• Why “safety” might not be what you actually need
• The difference between control and trust
• How to build inner confidence and resilience, especially after trauma
• A reframe for those of us who tend to overprepare, overthink, or retreat
• 
  

If you’ve ever tried to fix your anxiety by making your world smaller—by canceling plans, avoiding conflict, or needing constant reassurance—this one’s for you.

Resources + Next Steps:

• Try a self-trust journal prompt this week: What have I already survived that proves I can do hard things?
• Want support applying this to your own life or relationship? Learn more at www.aprilboyd.ca

Want to get better at speaking up? Sign up for the free on-demand workshop that will help you be more confident in standing your ground when you're dealing with a boundary bulldozer. Sign up here.

Have a topic or question you'd love to hear about?

Message me and let me know.

email april@lovelossproject.com

Instagram @with.love.april

https://www.instagram.com/with.love.april/

Please note:

This show is not a replacement for therapy, assessment, treatment or diagnosis. This show is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. See your physician, counsellor or local crisis support centre if needed

All identifying details about the people and the stories shared here are removed to protect confidentiality.