In this episode of Is It Me or Is It Them?, we unpack one of the most misunderstood ideas about anxiety: the belief that feeling safe is the ultimate goal. We're going to explore why seeking safety can sometimes keep us stuck—and why building trust in ourselves is a more sustainable path forward.

Drawing on my work as a therapist, and real-life examples from clients and my own experiences, I walk you through the subtle but important shift from trying to avoid discomfort to learning we can handle it.

What You’ll Hear:

• Why “safety” might not be what you actually need
• The difference between control and trust
• How to build inner confidence and resilience, especially after trauma
• A reframe for those of us who tend to overprepare, overthink, or retreat
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If you’ve ever tried to fix your anxiety by making your world smaller—by canceling plans, avoiding conflict, or needing constant reassurance—this one’s for you.

Resources + Next Steps:

• Try a self-trust journal prompt this week: What have I already survived that proves I can do hard things?
• Want support applying this to your own life or relationship? Learn more at www.aprilboyd.ca

Want to get better at speaking up? Sign up for the free on-demand workshop that will help you be more confident in standing your ground when you're dealing with a boundary bulldozer. Sign up here.

Have a topic or question you'd love to hear about?

Message me and let me know.

email april@lovelossproject.com

Instagram @with.love.april

https://www.instagram.com/with.love.april/

Please note:

This show is not a replacement for therapy, assessment, treatment or diagnosis. This show is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. See your physician, counsellor or local crisis support centre if needed

All identifying details about the people and the stories shared here are removed to protect confidentiality.

No one warns you about this part of love. One day you look across the table at the person you built a life with—and ask yourself: What if I made a huge mistake?

You have spent years getting to know them better than they may even know themselves- and some of it's ugly.

And you wonder: Is this still workable—or am I just fooling myself?

In this episode of Is It Me or Is It Them?, we’re talking about the part of long-term relationships that doesn’t get enough acknowledgment: The moment when your partner’s flaws aren’t just annoying, they are damn right repulsive, infuriating—and they make you question everything.

Here’s what we explore:

• Why seeing the worst in your partner is sometimes inevitable—and what it means
• The difference between difficult and deal breaker
• How your nervous system interprets relationship conflict as danger
• The internal process you need to go through before making major decisions
• Why even good people can still be wildly incompatible sometimes
• What to do when love starts to feel like work you don’t want to do
• 
  

Whether you’re in the middle of a long slow burnout or just hit a bump that’s bigger than usual, this conversation is here to bring some clarity, calm, and honest reflection.

Mentioned in this episode:

→ The Reset Your Relationship audio program – now self-paced and audio-only, for busy people doing hard relationship work.

Check it out here.

If this episode resonates, share it with someone else who’s wondering what’s “normal” in long-term love—and what isn’t. And as always, thank you for being here.

Want to get better at speaking up? Sign up for the free on-demand workshop that will help you be more confident in standing your ground when you're dealing with a boundary bulldozer. Sign up here.

Have a topic or question you'd love to hear about?

Message me and let me know.

email april@lovelossproject.com

Instagram @with.love.april

https://www.instagram.com/with.love.april/

Please note:

This show is not a replacement for therapy, assessment, treatment or diagnosis. This show is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. See your physician, counsellor or local crisis support centre if needed

All identifying details about the people and the stories shared here are removed to protect confidentiality.

Want to get better at speaking up? Sign up for the free on-demand workshop that will help you be more confident in standing your ground when you're dealing with a boundary bulldozer. Sign up here.

Have a topic or question you'd love to hear about?

Message me and let me know.

email april@lovelossproject.com

Instagram @with.love.april

https://www.instagram.com/with.love.april/

Please note:

This show is not a replacement for therapy, assessment, treatment or diagnosis. This show is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. See your physician, counsellor or local crisis support centre if needed

All identifying details about the people and the stories shared here are removed to protect confidentiality.